The Office limps on into oblivion; 30 Rock rides out into the sunset; Fox stays animated; McSteamy, Dreamy Underpants defies expiration; Heigl drops something important; TBS likes mountain cats, or ladies over 40, six of one; True Blood finds a reason to chase perps with fangs; Oh, Lisa Turtle.
Unoriginal, reusable Tupperware network, NBC, is rolling out the list of veteran shows that will be renewed for another season. If you thought Community would be first on the list you’ve obviously been smoking gummi bears or something. [Update: Community has been renewed with a 13-episode order.] No, out trots The Office for another season of well, we don’t know, we guess all the cast members will relocate to a cruise ship and sail to Norway, because why not? What haven’t they done on this workplace comedy yet? Mystery theater on a boat, that’s what. Ed Helms, John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer have all signed on for another season, which sounds like signing on to the 13th grade in high school. Departing are Rainn Wilson, who will have his own spin-off, and Mindy Kaling who will star in a new series on Fox. So, no Dwight. Yeah, why are they doing this again? Wait. Um, Mose? Seriously! WHAT ABOUT MOSE?! [Deadline]
In more NBC news, the show about Lorelei Gilmore, Peter Dellaplane, Holly Gennaro McClane, and whatever Dax Shepard was before Human Resources at NBC called, will be renewed. So people really do like fast-talking, dramatic shows about people surviving Parenthood! This is good to know. This is something Bristol Palin can talk about! Marriage, however, not so much. Not to be outdone, 30 Rock will also be returning for a seventh and final (abbreviated) season. There will only be 13-14 new episodes. But really, this is a show about nothing, yes? Doesn’t it really just follow the fanciful comedy structure that’s only loosely connected to the episodes and seasons that have come before? There are some guest appearances, some funny arcs, but really it’s a core group getting into zany antics every week. Sure it’ll be missed, but only until a new offering full of zany, former SNL alums get together and make a show, right? Get ready for Seth Meyers starring in a zingy half-hour comedy called Sketch Comedy coming your way, Fall 2014. [Deadline]
Well, right from live-action families and into animated ones, we suppose. Fox has decided to renew Family Guy and American Dad, because lots of people still watch these animated shows, and not just college students who’ve got the munchies and have downloaded various Stewie Griffin apps. Seriously, these shows are really important to the world of television programming. Important enough that there wasn’t room for a few other shows. Fox has canceled The Finder, Alcatraz, Breaking In, and I Hate My Teenage Daughter, which altogether sound like the timeline of a multi-state crime spree. The show starring Kiefer Sutherland as someone who doesn’t thump terrorists in the neck muscle, called Touch, will also be back next season. [Deadline]
Huzzah! The sexy show your mom doesn’t want you to know she watches because of all its dreamy, steaminess, and its penchant for “gettin busy” on hospital gurneys, Grey’s Anatomy, will be back next season. It’s like it’s 2005 all over again. Ellen Pompeo, Patrick Dempsey, Sandra Oh, and Justin Chambers will all return to we guess save people from odd maladies and hump in linen closets. What else happens on this show? I have no idea. Yet, someone just updated their Twitter feed with “Hope to meet Patrick Dempsey when we go visit Hollywood this summer!” So, okay. [Deadline]
Oh, Katherine Heigl. Well, maybe you shouldn’t have said those weird, bad things about Grey’s Anatomy,. You’ve kind of been rolling around in a cast aside tumbleweed making awful movies ever since then, eh? She’s announced that she will leave her longtime agency, Paradigm. Well, that seemed sort of inevitable didn’t it? Well, because watching her latest movies have been the equivalent of checking your shoe for dog poo. This has happened to flighty, surly, shrieky, Katherine Heigl. And well, all the Joshua Duhamels and Gerard Butlers can’t save you from that pervasive image problem you’ve concocted from one too many cases of blabber-running-mouth. So, we wish you luck with whatever comes next, Heigie. Maybe an arc on Lifetime’s the Client List? That thing is like super popular! [Deadline]
TBS, cable triage for network television, has picked up Cougar Town from ABC. Well, that’s good news for all you wine lovers and cul-de-sac inhabitants. We kind of like the quirky, snark filled show. Of course, the title of the show has always sucked and when it first premiered our eyes couldn’t stop rolling, but it’s actually funny, and that Courtney Cox is a good egg, and carries the lead fairly well. Well, you know for someone who did “The Carlton” dance with Bruce Springsteen with a kicky boy haircut and a sleeveless t-shirt like she was Rob Lowe or something. [Deadline]
We Miss You Detective Stabler! Yes, this will always be the case. We don’t care what else Christopher Meloni is doing, but he better at some point come back to Law & Order SVU, and finally mack-face with Olivia Benson. But until then, he’ll play a vampire on True Blood which has us worried and excited. We don’t know him as anything other than skull-cracking Elliott, and well, a vampire sounds so very decadent. What can we expect? Vulture’s found out. “Well, we don’t have as many werepanthers on SVU. I smack around [Alexander] Skaarsgard and [Bill] Moyer. I fuck someone else up, and I have a girlfriend, so that’s fun. It’s been very freeing, except for the fact that I get off the show where I had to wear a coat and tie every day and they put me in a suit and tie every day.” Oh, Stabler, you’ll be great. Color us titillated! [Vulture]
Dear God, Lark Voorhies. This troubles us greatly. What is going on, dearie? Your face, well, there is just so much happening here.
