Dear Reader,
Please take two minutes and forty seven seconds out of your life to have a look at what Head Judge Isaac Mizrahi sent down the runway twenty years ago, in 1992. Look at him with his crazy hair and listen to his youthful idealism. Also, look at the shapes, the shoes, the accessories.
All done? Excellent. Now click on through to the other side to read about this week’s challenge, and as always, there’s spoilers in there, so be brave and daring.
This week, it appears that Ke$ha has gone through a Master Cleanse or some sort of detox, because she’s clear eyed and not slurring her words. No whiskey bottle for our girl this week, no. She’s got some truth in her, and she’s going to deliver it.
The sewtestants are ushered off to Amanda Nanette Lepore’s atelier in New York City’s Garment District (yes, all the signs say Fashion District, just run with it), where Nanette lays it down. Y’all are going to design something for me, wenches, and it had better be good, because it’s going to be sold in my stores, and you’re going to make it for pennies. Pennies, I tell you!
Suitably impressed and frightened, the designers get down to sketching. Michael draws a caftan (naturally), Austin makes a few stylish squiggles which he says represents a coat, Kenley draws the same 1950’s silhouette she always does and… Mondo draws something that looks like an extra-wide tampon.
Needle across the record sound effect. What is this? Apparently, Mondo says he draws like a five-year old, never could draw anything, so in every challenge, when every other designer is making beautiful sketches, he’s just sitting there drawing hearts and stars, like Mary Jo Kopegny in Sister Stigmata’s class at Our Lady Of Perpetual Suffering Catholic School, which can be found right next door to The Sisters Of Bleeding Out The Eyes Women’s Asylum.
Once we’re done humiliating Mondo for his lack of drawing skill, the designers get to shop for fabric in Amanda Nanette Lepore’s personal stash. She has an entire floor of her atelier devoted to storing fabric. Wow, I’ve seen some quilters who had a lot of fabric, but this lady has taken hoarding to a whole, nother, level. Austin finds a very dark pinkish red raincoat fabric that he adores, Michael finds a groovy print for his caftan, Kenley finds a gorgeous peacock feather print which totally won’t work with her design, and Mondo dives in the scraps and notions bin to see what he can scrounge up.
This is where things get interesting, because Amanda Nanette Lepore’s “coster” told the sewtestants that they only have $30 or $40 or so for fabric, based on how much the finished product would sell for, and how much work it will take to produce the garment. This means there’s no buying extra fabric “just to be safe” and it’s pretty much a guarantee that every bit of fabric purchased must be used in the final design. Very much like the black and white challenge in Season Three.
There’s a small kerfuffle when Kenley, who apparently doesn’t have an inside voice, tells the other sewtestants WAH WAH WAAAAH MONDO NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO DRAW, MICHAEL YOU TEACH HIM HOW TO DRAW WAAA WAH WAHHH. Mondo is mortified, Michael is super-mortified, Austin is building a fire in the corner and throwing scrap paper on it, hoping to fan the flames of faggotry into a roaring blaze. Unfortunately, Michael is a figurative and literal wet blanket, and he shushes Kenley, telling her she needs to be respectful of Amanda Nanette Lepore’s workspace.
Off to the workroom and look who shows up – it’s your girl Joanna Coles and Amanda Nanette Lepore, checking up on the designers and what they’re doing. Austin is Austining his coat, Mondo is trying to turn his tin can tampon into something that doesn’t resemble an ethnic multicolor potato sack, Michael is trying to not expose his model’s ta-ta’s with the super deep plunging neckline on his caftan, and WAH WHA WAAA Kenley has abandoned the one part of her design that Amanda Nanette Lepore was interested in – the keyhole opening on the front of the dress. Oh, Kenley. We’re enjoying your sunny disposition during this season, but the decisions you’re making are so very questionable.
Before you know what’s happening, we’ve had a model fitting and a quick trip through hair and makeup. Makeup Bear? Makeup Bear! Where are you, Makeup Bear? Why did you leave us with Male Snooki? Sad face today, Makeup Bear.
The four remaining designers’ looks walk the runway, and feedback from the jerdges is pretty much as expected. Love Austin’s coat, but it needed to be more “pressed up.” Loved Michael’s caftan (Amanda Nanette Lepore definitely wanted to take that home with her) but the neckline and back expose a little too much skin, and the strap along the top back cheapens the look.
Didn’t super-love Mondo’s look, but it’s very saleable and can be modified to be a good seller once it gets in the store. Kenley’s look disappointed, because it was frumpy, the print wasn’t well-matched at the seams, and yes, the one interesting design detail (the keyhole) didn’t make it onto the runway. This, of course, means that Mopey Mondo (could he have said “defeated” one more time?) wins, Austin takes second, Michael third, and Kenley is sent packing. Kenley, we think you need to keep on doing what you’re doing, and don’t taper off those meds, because your personality was much more fun this time around.
