You know, this isn’t even funny or cute anymore. Just how many more movies will we have to suffer through witnessing Johnny Depp dressed as some sort of ghoul-goblinesque, drunken pirate, emo hair monster? Every single one of them. Behold the new release of Depp as Tonto in the upcoming Lone Ranger movie.
He’s wearing a dead raven on his head, apparently. The makeup is also such a clichéd take on a Native American from 80 years ago that it’s cause for an instant grimace. Now, we had no real conflict with Depp taking on the role, given he’s actually part Cherokee, and well, this isn’t a film that the world is clamoring for, however, does he require this much makeup and fuss all the time now? How is he not just Captain Jack Barf Sparrow just with longer hair?
We get it. He likes this style, and he now brings along designer Penny Rose, who worked with him on all seventeen hundred Pirates of the Caribbean(s), to every movie he’s doing now. Can you put that on a resume? “I know how to make Johnny Depp look like Johnny Depp in all of his movies?” Is this a selling point? I’d think this is what you say three minutes before someone says they have to make a very important phone call, and then you see them heading for the exit. HA! As if that would stop her. It probably doesn’t really matter, because she’ll just keep on taking Depp’s phone calls whenever he rings her up in some sort of inebriated state wherein he decides that he’d like a mask made from a llama foot and exactly seventy-six goose feathers so he can run around in yet another film full of whimsy and delight to the ischemic eye rolls of much of the film industry, and nearly every single one of us who happen upon his films late at night on Starz.
We can also blame Jerry Bruckheimer for this. He’s producing the film and since he’s also responsible for that pirate nonsense Depp has spent the better part of decade doing, it would make sense that seeing Depp in Tonto costume would make him all giddy. The Hollywood Reporter says the pic is from a tweet he sent out to the world.
I’d love for this picture to become a meme. If you’re able, please put interesting things on Johnny Depp’s head. I for one am rooting for loaves of bread and miniature Tim Burtons made out of pixie sticks.
