Yes, discarded drifter, Ryan Phillippe, may have found a home this fall on the network Ashton Kutcher seduced with his talent for slovenly beach bum antics and nonsensical hair-flopping. These are the other things he does on that show about two guys co-habitating and walking around in their bathrobes for half the episode, right? Seriously, every time I flip past Two and a Half Men, somebody’s always in a bathrobe. Is the whole show shot from the perspective of a lazy boy recliner, or outside a bathroom shower? No matter, I’ve yet to meet an actual person who watches that show. Maybe it’s a long commercial for terry cloth and not an actual television program.
Whatever you may think about men and their leisure wear, with the addition of Phillippe on its roster, it looks like CBS is becoming a haven for mid 1990’s heartthrobs with middling acting careers. Who’s next? Ben Savage? Maybe. Phillippe has landed the starring role in a show that tracks the career and life of a police officer as he climbs the ranks to detective and eventually police commissioner. Most recently the drama was titled “Golden Boy” which while accurate, does sound like a show about a smug asshole that we’ll hate. Really, if this title makes the short list, we’re thinking Douche Brigade, or Tool Patrol probably wouldn’t be bad ideas.
In any event, the network that serves as the launch pad of weekly Chuck Lorre Vanity Card rants has laid out a pilot season that runs the gambit of shows that discuss the pitfalls of dudes in a bromance, ladies who like to par-tay all the time, a rom-com staple about “the one” being “that one” you’ve known forever, millennial hackers, and something about Sherlock Holmes that won’t be as good as RDJ as Sherlock Holmes so this seems like a hilarious thing that will have us all wondering why they didn’t just remake Columbo! Yes? No.
RDJ copycats aside, CBS seems to have given their fall line-up a bit more thought than competitor ABC whose pilots read like a playlist set to a REO Speedwagon soundtrack. Wow. That’s impressive coming from a network who’s cashing checks on the success of a show about poor, hipster waitresses in Brooklyn who work “vagina” into every episode, when they were formerly known for being Touched by an Angel. However, from the list below, we know right off that no one needs to really see a show about yet another thirtysomething moving home to live with his parents, or a hotshot legal eagle chick who’s sassy but a charmer — yawr, we’ve seen these things before. BUT a show that takes a look at a bromance being akin to a marriage, maybe, and the one about having to work with an Ex a cubicle away could be interesting as long as they don’t 500 Days of Summer twee it to death! No!
Barring that bit of barf, if nothing else, it’ll be interesting to see what Louis C.K. has done with an ensemble show about young people “trying to make it,” but, uh, yeah, we can’t say the same for the prerequisite CBS weepy looking drama Widow Detective. Urgh.
Take a look at the whole list.
COMEDY
Friend Me
Twentysomething best friends Evan and Rob move from their hometown of Bloomington, Ind., to L.A. to begin their new lives working at Groupon. Evan has trouble breaking his old slothful habits and rather than go out after work to explore L.A. and meet new people, prefers to play online poker with his friends back home. Rob has different plans and is determined to drag Evan, kicking and screaming, along with him.
Cast: Parvesh Cheena
Partners
A personal story of two lifelong friends and their business partners. Architects Charlie and Louis’ friendship has lasted longer than either of their romantic relationships and almost seems like a weird marriage. When Charlie decides to propose to his girlfriend, Louis’ neurotic attempts to be supportive nearly result in the breakup of his own relationship.
Cast: Sophia Bush, Michael Urie
Super Fun Night
Revolves around three nerdy female friends on their “funcomfortable” quest to have “super fun” every Friday night.
Cast: Rebel Wilson
Format: Multicamera
Untitled Dorf/Falcone project
Comedy series about a 37-year-old man (Ben Falcone) who loses everything he has in the real estate collapse and finds himself back at home in the house he grew up in … with his parents.
Cast: Ben Falcone
Format: Multicamera
Untitled Greg Malins/Greg Berlanti project
Nick has a health scare and realizes Wendy, his best friend and business partner of 15 years, is “the one.” Now he has to figure out how to break it to her.
Cast: Joanna Garcia Swisher
Untitled Louis C.K., Spike Feresten
An ensemble comedy revolving around young people as they try to achieve their creative dreams in these tough financial times.
Untitled Nick Stoller
Loosely based on Stoller’s real-life experiences, the ensemble revolves around a guy who gets his heart broken by his girlfriend and now must work one cubicle away from her at an ad agency.
Cast: Michael Angarano, Adam Campbell, Amanda Lund
Format: Single-camera
DRAMA
Applebaum
Based on Ayelet Waldman’s Mommy Track Mysteries series of books in which a former public defender becomes a private investigator to keep from being bored to death as a stay-at-home mom.
Baby Big Shot
A legal drama that centers on a working-class woman who uses her street smarts to compete with her more polished colleagues at a top New York law firm.
Cast: Toni Trucks
Elementary
A modern take on the cases of Sherlock Holmes, with the famed detective now living in New York City.
Cast: Jonny Lee Miller
Untitled Wootton/Berlanti (previously Golden Boy)
Revolves around the making of a man and tracks one cop’s meteoric rise from officer to detective to police commissioner.
Cast: Chi McBride, Kevin Alejandro, Ryan Phillippe
Quean
An edgy and independent millennial hacker girl teams up with an Oakland police detective to solve crimes.
Trooper
A common-sense mother-turned-New York state trooper.
Untitled Ralph Lamb
Period piece set in the 1960s centered on the true story of Ralph Lamb – rodeo cowboy turned longtime Sheriff of Las Vegas.
Widow Detective
A decorated police detective becomes a surrogate husband, lover and father to the families of three partners lost in the line of duty.
Image: Source
