Every site has an article about how to do something especially romantic. The problem is that the bar keeps getting raised and raised until finally, it’s all just a giant disappointment. That’s why it’s a good idea to break some new ground this Valentine’s Day. Do something creative.
Waffle House Is For Lovers
Why break the bank? The fact is, you aren’t going to get a restaurant’s best quality on Valentine’s Day. They’re too busy. Anyone who’s ever worked in food service will tell you this is one of the worst times to go out to dinner if you’re looking for quality.
So, go for kitsch. Waffle House is having a special Valentine’s Day dinner. They’re taking reservations and I am totally not making this up. They are serving specials like Ribeye and they have doilies. Also, they will be serving non-alcoholic champagne which is probably best. If Waffle House starts serving liquor, I’ll never go anywhere else. Here’s a link to the Waffle House locations that are serving special meals.
Get Yer Girl Some Camo
When you look at your woman, do you think “If only she were dressed like a mallard?” If you are looking for some racy gifts with a creative flair, consider getting your girl some camo this year. You can get camouflage lingerie from Wilderness Dreams. They carry camouflage thongs, camo swimwear and many other naughty camo bits.
LoveBird Taxidermy
Did you know that you could have a lovebird mounted professionally by a taxidermist? Nothing says eternal love quite the way that taxidermy does. There are plethora of real lovebirds mounted by professional taxidermists available on eBay. They aren’t cheap but good taxidermy isn’t. You’ll want to get insured delivery.
Here’s an example of a quality listing.
Edible Meat Panties
For the do-it-yourself crafty type, here’s an idea. Make yourself some beef jerky underwear. If you make these and take pictures, I bet we can persuade Bots to post them. Making your own beef skivvies is a three step process. How cool would it be if you combined this with the camo lingerie?
West Virginia Valentines
If you are a West Virginia resident, you can enter a contest for a free divorce. The Webb Law Firm will give away a free divorce to the West Virginia resident who presents the most compelling story as to why they deserve a free divorce. This is the fifth year of the contest. Love is truly a many-splendored thing.
Nothing Says Stalking Like A Serenade
Send them a serenade they will never forgive you for. Nothing says true love quite like subtlety. A Barbershop Chorus is a great alternative. Here’s one in Arizona that will deliver TWO songs plus a rose, candy, a card and a permanent shunning.
The Swinger Hotel
There’s a swingers’ hotel in a really scary part of Denver. We’re considering checking this place out. We know a guy who took his wife there as a surprise but she refused to spend the night because the rug was crunchy. Did you know that swingers’ hotels really like single women to visit? Why don’t more single women hang out at swingers’ hotels?
If you have any better ideas, please, please share them.
Image: Flickr
