Chris Brown has been in the news pretty much nonstop since the Grammy award telecast on Sunday night. He performed twice during the live show and was awarded a Grammy for Best R&B album — but the backlash in the aftermath has been swift. Not only for what many perceive as an award for domestic violence against then-girlfriend Rihanna by his return to the Grammy stage less than five years after the incident, but also for a series of tweets from his fans that extolled the virtues of being beaten by the singer, and now for an idiotic tweet Brown regaled the public with in some sort of “I have a Grammy Now, Eff Off” bit of a self-mutilating PR nightmare.
All of the above have not only encouraged the media to reignite the discussion about Brown’s actions in 2009, but also about the message he’s sending with regard to domestic violence as a whole. The pervasive question the news media, bloggers, nightly news telecasts, CNN, and the like are asking is, “Should the Chris Brown exile be over, or should he continue to be shunned?” If not evident before, you, Mr. Brown, are at a crossroads.
For his part, Brown has not spoken about his fans’ tweets, and quickly removed the ones he sent that threw up a middle finger to those criticizing his Grammy win and performances. What he has done is take offense to the continued scrutiny put forth by media, critics, other celebrities, and pretty much anyone he considers a “hater.” He often claims in his tweets now, since his PR team released a statement earlier this year that he would not be giving interviews, that he made a mistake, and that he deserves a second chance.
Well, it is true that he made a mistake, yet that doesn’t mean forgiveness or acceptance should be automatic. Was he abusive to his girlfriend? Yes. Is he a habitual abuser? Well, that remains to be seen. There have not been any new reports of domestic violence thus far, but Brown certainly has displayed continued problems with anger, and there’s a level of narcissism that exists which appears to be rather crippling in its own right.
The question remains, “Should he be given a second chance to right his wrongs?” Perhaps. He’s a victim of domestic abuse. He grew up in a household where it existed, and if current reports are true, would wet his pants upon witnessing his step-father abuse his mother. This does make him a victim, but also puts him in a higher risk category for becoming an abuser himself. Yet, it does not excuse his actions three years ago. Those actions were wholly inexcusable, despicable, and the work of a very troubled young man. If you’ve read the re-released police report that this recent Grammy controversy has brought back to the forefront, than you will know this is true. Despite it all, after completing his legal obligations, which he did to a judge’s satisfaction, it was up to him to take ownership of his life, acknowledge his flaws, seek mental health assistance, and learn how to better deal with anger, rejection, refusal, and find some measure of rehabilitation. Many believe, as I do, that he’s had opportunity after opportunity to make a course correction in his life, yet he is still falling almost immeasurably short.
It seems much of it is immaturity, which is a horrible reason for remaining stunted. Many of his outbursts and tantrums appear to come from a refusal to face his actions head on and the ensuing frustration that comes from remaining stuck in a place where petulance and indignation reign simply because not enough growth has occurred.
What Chris Brown refuses to realize is that the state of his image, and the world’s response to it, is directly attributed to his actions, and up to him to change. The media reports what he’s done since 2009, and in turn shines a spotlight on what he hasn’t. No one is forgetting the events of that February night three years ago, and obtusely, Brown does not acknowledge that the world will continue to talk about those events the longer he is still viewed as the young man who could have done those things yesterday, or may still do them today. It is not enough to just live, dance, make records, and scream every time the issue is brought forth. The key is to take full ownership of the past, which will require a constant level of atonement. There is no prescribed end-date that he can conjure since the event was too significant, however much he’d like to distance himself. It will continue to be an open wound as long as Brown does nothing to assist in its healing, if this is possible. It will not, and can not, go away without its due attention, and that means talking about it, and accepting fault, and working on self-improvement on a continuous basis until redemption is earned, not expected.
In essence, the only way to move forward, is to grow forward. By refusing, he continues squandering his talent by hiding from this reality. It’s true, he’s a talented kid. He seems free in his dance expression, he’s a visual artist who uses the fine arts as a medium, and is now a burgeoning video director. He’s been in a relationship with the same young woman for over a year without reports of violence, and it appears that he’s managed to escape the pitfalls of drugs and alcohol, preferring to goof off with his friends, dance and make music — all things a twenty-two year old superstar should be doing. This, however, does not take the place of the guidance, humility, and maturity he lacks, and without it, there’s no point in attempting to salvage his career.
If one could offer a bit of armchair common sense advice, surely these things would be on the list:
- Stop sulking. The world at large doesn’t owe you anything.
- Retire the word “hater.” People who are criticizing you based upon your inaction on this issue are not all haters.
- Twitter is not your friend.
- Acknowledge your influence on young people, young women especially, and encourage only positive relationship interactions. Denouncing those ridiculous Grammy night tweets publicly would be a good start.
- Spend less time lamenting the state of your career and more on what kind of person you should strive to be; the bully, the loser? Or the young person who sees something that needs changing, and does it.
- Accept that you are flawed. That doesn’t mean that you stop working on being better. And screaming about Charlie Sheen or drug dealers who’ve become successful hip-hop artists does not absolve you of your actions. You are still responsible for your own faults.
- If someone brings up the incident from 2009, address it. Learn how to handle tough interview questions and situations. Your team should be able to assist you. If not, you need a better PR team. Saying that you won’t do interviews is a copout, period.
- Keep in contact with family, faith agents, therapists, or whomever’s ear you can bend from time to time who will be honest with you — not yes-men, groupies, or other members of your entourage who see you purely as a meal-ticket. Learn to tell the difference.
- Anger management is a long-term battle. You are not cured. Continue addressing it.
- Continue community service. Work and interact with young people in your situation. Hear from other victims, those who suffered the abuse, as well as those who witnessed it. Open up about your own circumstance. Look to become a leader and not just a cautionary tale.
- Grow up
- Moving on, evolving, and becoming a man should also include leaving the smug, seemingly uncaring, unrepentant attitude in the past. If it’s a cover or a misguided defense mechanism, cease and get over it. If you can’t, the world has its answer about you, and you’ve wasted enough of its time. You will fade into obscurity and won’t be missed, rightfully so.
This has been your fifteen minute warning. To be cliché — shape up or ship out. If this is the best you can do, there’s no need to continue in your plea for a second chance.
