Any Sci-fi fan or Systems Administrator will tell you: Zombies are bad for business. This holds true whether your managing a theme park, a mission critical webserver, or especially the ecology of the human body. Zombie processes on a webserver are ones that are supposed to terminate but instead they hang around eating up resources and wasting processor time. The same is true in the human body. “Zombie cells” are no longer able to divide like normal cells. Instead they hang around releasing toxins and presumably making one crave human flesh and to start talking with a lisp. I may have made up that last part.
Good news, zombie sufferers!! A new process shows promise to help remove these “Zombie” cells from lab rats, which kept the rats from developing cataracts and other age-related health issues. Hopefully that includes incontinence. The researchers are excited, saying “It suggests therapies that might work in real patients.” Which is great news since otherwise it would have been a big waste of time. The bad news is that this probably won’t give your aging loved ones any relief from the constant pains of growing out of touch and getting further and further removed from reality by watching too much FOX News. Unless all of that is also a function of aging, in which case I’m dressing my father up as a lab rat and hauling his ass to the Mayo Clinic.
