What makes a sport manly? Most of the sports considered “manly” are violent or injury-inducing, but not all. Here we take a look at some popular sports, ranked from 24, most polite and least manly, to number 1, mega super grunty manly mannish.
Here are numbers 24 through 13:
- (24) Curling: The name implies a hair burning tool, plus the players use brooms. Flicking, sweeping, girly.
- (23) Handball: Come on. You’re kidding, yes? Look at the picture above.
- (22) Skateboarding / Snowboarding / “Extreme” sports: EXTREMELY not manly. Case in point: Shawn White. Also — “Get Caught Recycling” at all X Games events.
- (21) Bodybuilding: The mustaches fool no one. G to the IR to the LEEEEE, girlfriend!
- (20) Cycling: Cute lycra skin-sucking uniforms leaving nothing to the imagination, sitting on bike seats puts the boys to sleep.
- (19) Volleyball: Lots of tanning oil, specialized sunglasses. Wrist action. Kinda girly.
- (18) Tennis: Tiny short shorts. “Big Head” racquets. Lots of grunting and sweating, no swearing allowed.
- (17) Roller Derby: When the ladies do it, guys say it’s hot. When guys do it, other guys get funny feelings in their no-no places and so this is not manly.
- (16) Swimming / Diving: Skimpy lycra uniform, no fighting in the pool. Low potential for blood or impact injuries.
- (15) Basketball: Oh goodie, let’s run up and down a wooden floor in tights and dresses and play with balls. Don’t run into me or you are foul, golly gosh.
- (14) Baseball: This used to be a manly sport and then science stepped in. Now we’re all concerned with going home. Yes, George Carlin did say it best.
- (13) Cricket: No one really understands this sport so this is its rank.
Come back soon, sooner than you expect, for Part Two, where we explore numbers 12 through 1.
