It was magical the first time I saw you. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I still don’t know if perfection in such a form can exist. Sure, you were older than me, but who wasn’t when I was 14? That didn’t matter. I was excited. You were always ready to take me somewhere new. You were the epitome of beauty and sex. I will always remember my time with you fondly, with a twinge of remorse, and a longing for simpler times.
You may have had some hail damage. Your past relationships may have not been the best. You had a few creaks, a couple groans, but together we could overcome anything. I got my first job to pay for our relationship. At first it was babysitting, but that just didn’t cut it. A few hours babysitting just won’t pay for the adult world. Twenty dollars couldn’t last me a month anymore. It might last few days if I was lucky.
Nothing mattered at the time. Looking back, I was very dependent on you. I wasn’t able to get around, you’d drop me off at school and be there waiting when I was done. I remember being hurt and a little upset that you would never come watch our high school football games. Always just waiting in the parking lot, giving my friends liquor and weed. I was out there playing my heart out, but you just couldn’t be bothered.
My friends all loved you, and what wasn’t there to love? Tight back end, cute little nose, the way your eyes lit up at night, your body was everything a boy my age wanted. We were raised different, you always loved leopard print shirts and tight pleather pants. You were too mature for me. You never complained when my friends said they wanted a ride. I’m still pretty sure you let Chris inside you while I wasn’t around. I was jealous, and I’m sorry for that now. Maybe we could have lasted.
Then your younger sister started dating one of my best friends. She let him go farther, quicker, than you would let me. She was fast. He was crazy. Honestly, the match was a little scary. It sucked when I made us stop hanging out with them. I could tell you had fun with those two, I did too. But honestly, they were going nowhere. It was just circles and crashes with them. They would get high and just start trying to beat everyone they were around. They would get in any race or competition just for the thrills. We were better than that. You were better than that.
I started pumping money and time into our relationship. I wanted us to be better. It was a competition sometimes. Who could get the furthest? Who could get in where? I laughed when we saw your sister and him at the basketball stadium as we drove to the bars. I was sixteen and couldn’t be stopped. We got you a face lift, started working out together. Half your age plus seven be damned. Come hell or high water, we could take on the world.
Then there was that fateful night. You quit listening to me. I tried to get you to stop. It just wouldn’t happen. You wouldn’t listen. It was as if someone had cut the brakes. We were hurtling headlong through traffic, weaving in and out of everyone. There was a yellow light, and I thought we might make it. I could have slowed us down after we made it through the intersection. There was no such luck. There was an officer at the intersection. He made us slow down. He called my parents to come pick me up. They were furious. “What are you doing out with THAT?” “Are you drunk?” “What the fuck is WRONG with you, boy?” At least you stayed quiet. I don’t know if I could have taken it if you had spoken up. They never let me see you again. That will always be the last memory I have of you, my sweet.
Forever yours,
Capt_Badass
