Gawker Media intern and soon to be infamous internet person, Alyssa Bereznak*, decided to share a dating story on Gizmodo, the site she writes for. Now, plenty of people share their dating tales of woe but for Bereznak, her story quickly turned into a tale of WHOA! See, Bereznak went on a date with a guy who is extremely accomplished at being what some people would call a nerd, identified the guy she dated in her piece, and BOOM went the internet.
Bereznak one night decided to create an OKCupid account after a night of drinking because OH MY GAWD! LIKE, NOBODY DOES THAT and was the beginning of the end. After getting weird messages (welcome to internet dating, Grasshopper), she finally received one that piqued her interest. One thing lead to another (NO, not IM sex) and she had a drink or two with her man.
Over the course of two dates, he revealed that he was a World Champion at something called Magic: The Gathering which is serious business – it was on ESPN(2). Well that, apparently, was all Bereznak needed to know. She marched right home to google herself him and discovered that his guy wasn’t lying! He, indeed was who he said he was!** And by that, she means a HUGE ICKY NERDY NERD! No more dates for him – SUPER WARLOCK DORZAK!
Flashfoward to today, when Bereznak’s story posts and let’s just say some lessons are being learned. Hard lessons about life, love and the internet. First, how dare he actually say who he was and what his interests were? Everyone knows you are supposed to put up a front for the first six months. Second, how dare he not brand his OKCupid profile with some nerd sign for unsuspecting young ladies like her who would never, EVER date someone who spends time on a game! I mean, really. Who wants to get drunk and make bad decisions with someone who is preparing for tournaments in his head while he’s supposed to be thinking about you!
However the most important lesson I think we can take away from Bereznak’s tale today is that you do not piss off the wrong people. While Dr. Evil Denton is likely skipping over bodies of fallen commenters, this story is no doubt giving him massive pageviews. But like others that have been laid prostrate before Denton, Bereznak will not fare so well.
Her picture has already become fodder for clever interwebs people and it will likely be only a matter of time before her personal information is revealed. NEVER MIND that she will probably not have too much luck dating anyone within three feet of a computer since they are now on notice that their dates are fodder for her writing internship.
Yes, Alyssa, you have learned a difficult lesson today – DON’T PISS OFF THE NERDS!
*She identified herself in the byline for the story
**His identity has now been so widely revealed that is makes no sense to leave him unidentified