Our top story this morning is your beloved Newsbunny’s left eye being swollen shut after the Stray Cat Attack. Little Furry Bastard. You realize, of course, this means war.
There are other things going on.
- I bet if we all stopped paying attention to Wall Street when it misbehaved, it would act a lot better.
- Oooooh, look! Mitt Romney wore a tie. I found Michelle Bachmann’s sandals to be unprofessional and unpresidential. Then all eight of them agreed to abolish the CIA and leapt into a Def Leppard music video era cage for a match to the death.
- This Verizon strike is getting nasty. Did you all know my Dad was a telephone lineman? Team IBEW!
- Who the fuck thinks this is a good idea?
- We should use these in college dorms, too.
- A small-town economic tragedy.
- I ask it again: can’t you just crate them?
- That’s a fancy rocket. (rim shot!)
- Jani Lani of Warrant has been found dead.
