Do you know what those damn cats did to me today? They conned me out of two breakfasts. First the Papa-Kitty came home from his overnight shift, and fed them. Then the little fuckers woke me up with their sad, plaintive meows, and I fed them, not knowing the Papa-Kitty was home. This, after yesterday’s Drug Incident, where it looked like the Buster and Amelia downed one of my anti-seizure pills, a medical emergency that wound up costing me $125.00. This is why I have to work. So here are your headlines.
- Oh, Rupert.
- This is political insanity.
- What the hell is wrong with people? Involves A) dead whale B) multilation
- It’s so hot in Kansas City, trash pickup schedules are being shifted. You blame them?
- Best Wishes! Can you cash in all those gift cards for bail?
- If this big-ass radio station audition doesn’t work out, I can always sell my wedding set.
