Seeing that we’ve been kicking around a potential #Crasstalk four-legged, fuzzy mascot, it merits discussing: Who’s furry merchant of technical death has the head-to-head advantage? Let’s dive in and see if we can’t settle this.
Experience: Nibbles has been in our Gawker comments for years, voraciously consuming them, sometimes in mass quantities. He can, over the course of only a few days, repost the same comment eight times, disable the edit function, and swallow up reply notifications on a whim. Honey Badger is new on the scene, but seems well conditioned, given that Intense Debate is in his corner. Other than folks adjusting to the new format, Honey Badger has yet to exert his influence. Advantage: Nibbles. That little sucker can wreak havoc with the simplest twitch of the nose.
Ferocity: All the cute little .gifs of hamsters carrying machine guns aside, have you ever seen a honey badger? They kill cobras, for crying out loud! And, look at the second word in that description: Badger. The mascot of the University is Wisconsin, where there are only 3 rules:
1) Facial hair is functional, never ironic.
2) A wheel of cheese in every refrigerator.
3) Seriously, don’t F with a badger.
Advantage: Honey Badger
Elusiveness: Time and again, we’ve seen Nibbles deftly enact chaos on the Gawker servers, then disappear into the ether, only to plot his next strike. Smaller in stature, he can get into spaces Honey Badger only dreams of. Honey Badger is wiry and creative, but Nibbles always seems to know which wire to chew up to inflict maximum comment crashing. Advantage: Nibbles
Defenses: Anyone who was a Gawker user back in December knows how this one goes. Security is a rumor in Nibble’s world. Big Advantage: Honey Badger
Overall: Honey Badger is mean, tough, and seriously does not give an eff what you think. Nibbles has experience, cunning, and a dose of humorous evil on his side. Who you got?
(ETA: Thanks to DoW for the Photoshop help with the thumbnail)
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