Armageddon

The dictionary defines “Rapture” as an English noun derived from the Latin verb rapio, with a literal meaning of “I catch up” or “I snatch.” I define “Rapture” as “Aw fuck, here we go.” Now, I don’t know about all of you, but I like to be prepared, whether it’s keeping an umbrella at work in case of rain or being ready for the day of the Lord’s wrath against the ungodly which is supposed to last about seven years. For those of you with the FastPass to Heaven, bless you*! It doesn’t matter what you wear, as soon as you fist bump (with explosion) St. Peter and stroll through those pearly gates, you’ll be halo’d up and good to go for eternity. For the rest of us poor unfortunate souls, your Sunday best isn’t going to help you now, so ditch the designer duds and check out this guide for the ultimate Rapture wear. Continue reading →