Five Concrete Steps to Getting Out of Your Life Rut and Meeting Someone

There’s a time in your twenties when you’re out of college and working but not quite into full blown 401k worrying and yelling at kids on your lawn adulthood. This can be a time when a person really accelerates their life or gets bogged down in a rut. Based on personal experience here are the five concrete (though not necessarily easy) steps to getting out of that rut. Though these are focused on the menfolk, because that’s where my experience is, they would apply to the ladies to some extent if the pronouns were switched.

Step One: Physical fitness. Your mental fitness can be dragged down by your body. It’s a fact of life and science^{[citation needed]} that we all have to deal with. Mind and body are connected. I’m not talking about sweating it out in some hippie lodge outside Scottsdale, I mean that your physical state can be used to change your mental state.

The first part of this is to identify your vices that have a detrimental impact on your fitness. Sugar filled drinks? No more. I mean none, zero. Beer? Switch to vodka. Nobody would suggest you can stop drinking (but, it would help the process).

Now, go grab yourself a Fitbit and Wi-Fi Smart Scale. That which is measured improves. By cutting out the wasted and unhealthy calories above you’ve made the exercise you’re about to track that much more effective. Wear the little device everywhere and do the things you normally do; get a baseline weight and body fat percentage. Then work on improving your activity, weight and body fat percentage. You’ll know what’s working because you’re measuring it. I know some people don’t want you to weigh yourself everyday but forget that, get on that scale at the same time every single morning. Get out of the shower and onto the scale. That burrito you had yesterday? It’s going to show up and shame you.

Next is to get more aggressive about tracking what you eat. Sign up for an account at LoseIt and download their app. Log every single thing you put in your pie hole. I don’t care if you cheated, log it. Be honest with yourself and the plan will work.

An added benefit of this is that if you’re doing it right you’ll learn to cook. A man who can cook like a pro is a universally appealing trait. The kind of cooking that involves fresh vegetables, chopping, recipes and some healthy protein will be good for your body and your attractiveness. Be the person who can just open up a good cook book and have the skills to make whatever is there. This takes practice and a willingness to learn new techniques.

Step Two: Get a haircut. I’m serious. The chances that the haircut you’re rocking from college (or worse) is good for you now are next to none. Go find a salon (not a barber shop) that employs smokin’ hot twenty-something women. Make an appointment and tell her that it’s time for a change. Tell her that you want a haircut that fits your face, your hairline and will be attractive to the ladies. See, the thing is that she’s a lady and she knows what other ladies find appealing.

It doesn’t really matter if you’re losing your hair, The nice lady will take that into account. Sure, it would be nice to have a full head of luscious hair but that’s biology for you. You have to work with what you have and avoid doing stupid things like trying to cover it up. Someone that you meet won’t really care that your hair is thinning out, but she will notice if you’ve done something stupid to cover it up. Own it.

Step Three: Get your own place. Yes, I know it can cost more but I don’t care. You’re an adult, act like one. When you do finally convince a lady to come to your home you don’t want to be that guy who has three roommates. You want to have a place with privacy, your own style and pride of ownership (not in the literal sense, but in the sense that you own the space and have made it yours). It doesn’t have to be a big fancy place or in a swanky neighborhood. It just has to be somewhere that says, “I’m an adult and I have some things in life figured out.”

Step Four: Be passionate about something. Find something to be not just involved in but something to care about. When you do land a date and they ask what you’re into you need a damn answer and a believable one. Your passion and interest will come through in a natural and impressive way. To a certain extent it doesn’t matter what the subject is but there are certainly some subjects that are going to be letdowns if you choose them.

Step Five: Get out into the world. Sitting at home is not an option. Do you know where people are? Everywhere. The world is literally crawling with people. The only place they aren’t is inside your home. It takes work and trust to get them in your home. Did you get invited to a wedding? Going stag to a wedding is the only way to go. Be the person who plans events and get togethers. Don’t be the person who sees a chance to be out in the world and stays home because some TV show is on. Get a DVR and watch it later.

While you’re out there in the world feeling all confident ask the people that you meet if they’d like to grab coffee or hang out at this cool event you put together for next week.

Image: Flickr / Copyright by Moyan Brenn