Are people really excited about this whole triplet digit day thing? Yes, apparently. For some people this is a day to be regaled with significant remembrance. For others, it’s yet another day drinking coffee and pretending to sit at your desk and work. Yay! for democracy, or something like that. Now then, who are the people all hopped up on numerology today.
People in Vegas
“It’s a triple twelve day so let’s you and me do the ultimate in basking in the glory of one singular day on a calendar, but today is more special because it’s a thrice the spectacular day that won’t exist again until January 1, 2101 – let’s get married TODAY!”
At the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel, which sounds like a place that gives out congratulatory whiskey for each nuptial while participants are serenaded by an Elvis impersonator with a super-special white jumpsuit he only wears for weddings and All-You-Can-Eat shrimp Tuesdays, has 40 different 12/12/12 wedding packages to choose from. Yes, you can either have Shrimp Tuesday Elvis stare leeringly at your cleavage, or arrange for a pirate, gangster, or gothic theme. So, pictures you’ll want to burn in six months, then? Sure. As CNN notes, “Besides a traditional wedding, the most popular is Elvis in a pink Caddy, where Elvis drives the couple down the aisle in a pink Cadillac,” said general manager Brian Mills, who doubles as an Elvis impersonator.” Of course he does.
People with People in their Wombs
“It’s a triple twelve day so let’s plan to launch a human from our bodies because this day could be the start of something poignant for a beatific “child born on the day of three dozen.”
Private doctors were booked in advance for Caesarean births today because reportedly Dec. 12 stands for love, or because lots of parents want to proudly say to everyone they know, “Our little Lisbeth Joy Ann Brigadoon Fawnfeather was electively born on 12/12/12. And in China that means she’s a little sprocket of love joy. Look at how she puts those round blocks in the round holes. Simply stunning. She’s going to invent time travel one day so she can travel back to her birth in order to bless herself with a self-fulfilling prophecy of being able to travel back to her birth. It’ll be paradoxical. Isn’t she precious?”
We won’t tell them that on 10/10/10 according to the South China Morning Post a child born on this day would be “perfection.” This isn’t something they need to know, right? Right.
Math Geeks
“It’s a triple twelve day so let’s find all the ways we can determine if the number ’12’ can be broken down into time, space, and doom.”
Sheesh, author paradigmsearch, of Hubpages’ Education and Science page, doom? Really, doom?
This page is just full of fun little mind-bending factoids about the number 12 and what kind of powers you can wield if you’ve studied the number “12” extensively. It even goes so far to figure out what games of chance use “12” to success or failure. Roulette! Dice! And that’s not all. How many apostles were there? 12. How many Gods of Olympus? 12. And there are how many Federal Reserve Districts? You guessed it! 12. And then we find out, “The number 12 has many times been interpreted as a warning from our past to our future. Between the Mayan calendar and the astronomical events of this time period, doomsday predictions abound. There is presumably no scientific basis for these beliefs. There are presumably no known logical premises for these beliefs. However, these beliefs may not necessarily be false. The probability is not zero.” Yikes.
And then you can follow the link that talks about all the wonderful doomsday scenarios that could arise. Comets, Meteors, Anti-Matter/Dark-Matter, Bombs, Aliens, and Programmed Extinction. But, you know, this is all in fun. Heh, heh. You know, just surmising, just for kicks. Heh, heh. In a probably, totally, pretty sure, actually, maybe, all of these things will happen simultaneously kind of way. Yeppers, the world will become a large fireball aimed at the sun sent on a slingshot made of alien rubber bands!
This guy is totally not coming to anyone’s Mayan End of the World Parody Party on 12/21/12.
The Pope Tweets
“It’s a triple twelve day so let’s make an old dude who really has no concept of the whole technology thing unless it has to do with riding around in a Pope Pimp Mobile, but whose job interview still follows being selected by different colored smoke wafting out of a chimney — yes, this person is so ready to tweet.”
Pope Benedict XVI debuted on Twitter today under the hashtag @Pontifex where he proceeded to bless everyone from his ethereal iPad while doing a little Pope-y version of Reddit’s “Ask Me Anything” answer and question session with the guy in the pointy Pope Hat, live and direct from the Vatican’s Applebee’s in the Palisades Mall of Rome. Naturally. Since many of his tweets involved the whole blessing and bespeaking the words of God thing, we’re not sure if he’s gaining or losing followers, but we’re sure that many of the world’s best Twitter grifters who like to Say Pretty Much Anything may not be impressed by his lack of Subway sandwich updates and knowledge of NBC’s Parks and Rec. Unless we’re wrong and Pope Benedict somehow gets down with the whole “Leslie Knope is totally my chick, FTW” stealth tweets. We’re thinking, no.
So that’s it. That’s everyone who should be concerned about 12/12/12. Everyone else, back to your regular daily lives of trying to vault over the next two days of the week to get to the weekend — you know, unless paradigmsearch is right and there’s a dinosaur riding a comet sent from the ruler, Xenu, of the Galactic Confederacy headed straight for Earth. Then maybe you should worry.
