Blind Items

It’s Friday!

1) “Oh, what a tangled website we weave, when at first we practice to deceive. That’s what one of those crusty writer guys said, right? OK, maybe not exactly, but conniving, breasty Harriet Talons sure had that in mind when she backstabbed so many people on her current hit show, her own network’s New York website is currently weighing whether or not to write a scathing exposé on Harriet’s behind-the-scenes shenanigans—they’re that damn impressive.

Back in Hollywood, but equally as stealth—and to far more sexy results—would be an Oscar-nominated star’s party behavior. Want to hear what Freddie Friction picked up along with his cocktail? A date! And it’s weird on so many levels: Just like Harriet, who tells the world constantly (mostly in women’s magazines) how down-to-earth and shy and humble she is, Freddie’s been busy spinning a similar ersatz media presence. For instance, he often talks about how “straight” he is. Like, a lot.

Isn’t it fascinating how very unlike Crescent Cumquat and Topher Hairy-Tuchus—who often depend on extravagant online shenanigans to hook up with guys they fancy—Freddie is. He just asked a guy home at a recent N.Y. party! Right in front of everybody! And even though the party dude who Freddie asked back to his place was completely shocked, he did manage to say yes, in case you were wondering.

Yeah, maybe it was kinda stupid for Freddie (who we hear is a tad on the old-fashioned side) to let this all go down in the open, but hey, makes more sense than Craigslist, huh? Less of a trail… I think Freddie’s gonna be a crafty one, just like Harriet. In fact, I’m sure of it!

AND IT AIN’T: Felicity Huffman and Chord Overstreet, Joan Rivers and Zac Efron, Betty White and Robert Pattinson” [E!Online]

2) “This A list actor has franchise millions in his bank, but won’t spring for a much needed dental appointment. He makes a conscious effort never to smile and show his teeth at red carpet events. Fans think it’s all part of his dark and aloof mystique, but his teeth are beyond yellow…they are brown.” [Hollywood Dame]

3) “Today I wanted to tell you the history of this A list movie actress. She would never do television. Wait. She would never do scripted television. Anyway, our actress has had lots of high profile boyfriends and every one of them has said they have never felt as free as the day they were finally free of the actress. One actor said it was quite possibly the happiest day of his life and he had to act sad at some premiere and all he wanted to do was shout and scream. Our actress is a clinger. A big clinger. As in if she decides to date you then you are going to be with her until you do something so egregious that she has not choice but to leave you. You can’t break up with her. It does not work that way. One boyfriend tried to break up and then went and shot some movie on the other side of the world. Third day there, the actress showed up at his hotel room door with a suitcase saying she was there for a visit. One actor wanted to break up with the actress so much that he cheated on her. She got upset but the actress was not going to leave. He then got the idea of getting caught while cheating. She broke up with him after that but would still call him everyday and talk to him. That one was before caller i.d.

One actor who lived with the actress said that he never asked her to move in but that she just kept bringing stuff over and he never noticed and then one day he realized she was there all the time. It took him years to get away from her. Even in her current long term relationship, her significant other knows he can do anything he wants and that she is never going to leave him. He has done a lot and even been caught, but she just will not go anywhere. They can go weeks without seeing each other but she calls. All the time. All day. Texts all day too. Hundreds of times a day. Her significant other hired an assistant just to respond to the texts. Apparently his life is so much easier since he thought of it. One week of telling the assistant what to say in the texts and now one year later, the actress is none the wiser. Of course the assistant has got to see plenty of naked photos of the actress. She is big photo sender. She is also a big hypochondriac. She wonders aloud about everything she eats and how it will affect her and would like your opinion too. She has very few friends because they are subject to the same type of clingy. Not very many people can deal with that kind of constant barrage of attention and neediness.” [CDAN]

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