Flowers are so mom-and-dad. Artisanal chocolates will get you by, but next week no one other than you is going to remember they were made from hand-harvested Mayan cocoa beans and cost $100 a pound. So what uniquely something special can you get your honey for Valentine’s Day?
Even if it means that you have to plunk down a ton of cash and hop on a last minute plane to get to Brooklyn, nothing will show your undying affection like a trip to the Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant. Newtown Creek holds the enchanting title of being the most polluted waterway in New York, and what lovebirds can’t appreciate that? The sexy aroma that emanates from this little love canal is a sumptuous mix of industrial chemicals that have been seeping in for well over a century. The site is so badly polluted that it will take a decade or more for the cleanup.
I know what you’re thinking: it’s totally arousing. Well, get ready for some incredible thank-you sex, because this year, for Valentine’s Day and Valentine’s Day only, New York City’s Department of Environmental Protection will give you and your beloved a special guided tour of the treatment facility. The highlight will undoubtedly be a chance to see the five huge “digester eggs,” technological marvels that turn the water’s toxic sludge in to something not quite so toxic.
Best of all, at the end of the tour, you’ll get a commemorative Hershey’s kiss.
No, I’m not kidding. Guided Tours of the Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant will be held February 14th, from 9:30 to 11:30 am. 329 Greenpoint Ave. at Humboldt Street in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. (718) 595-6600. For reservations, email [email protected].
Image via flickr