There are just a bunch of crazed dingleberries over at that network. Seriously. You really want to believe that their decision making ability is in tact, but what it seems we’re actually getting is drunk uncle Marvin, singing show tunes to an oven mitt, declaring war on a lobster pot, and flirting shamelessly with your mother’s cousin Shirley.
NBC needs an intervention.
Remember when I reported last week that everyone’s favorite television show about Troy and Abed — daring duo, bunkbed co-habitaters, and morning show hosts who slum it for NBC on Community — was on the bubble? Yeah, well, NBC turned that bubble into a walking, talking, ten-foot sasquatch named Murray and then shot it in the face. The network has unveiled its midseason line-up and Community is nowhere to be found. As mentioned last week, it may have been due to slipping ratings, and a rising concern that the absurd shtick that is the heart of this show could be wearing out its welcome, or leaving new viewers struggling for comprehension in its wake.
Now, that’s a bit of sad, and for some, unexpected news. Not sure what fans, or perhaps they’re called Communehards are going to do without a weekly dose of obscure pop culture references, cajoling by Jeff Winger (Joel McHale), and Troy and Abed taping themselves to each other, but hopefully they’ll survive. It’s a shame, because the show is creative and inventive, and often fresh.
The pulling of the Maria Bello starring cop drama Prime Suspect was less surprising. This show never found its footing despite Bello’s near Herculean efforts every week. If her efforts could be measured in telekinesis, she would have broken Neo’s spoon in half. However, there was just something about it viewers didn’t relate to. Perhaps it felt a little too much like USA’s In Plain Sight? Or maybe there’s just too much cop drama fatigue out there.
So what are NBC viewers left with?
Wednesdays will feature Whitney at 8pm, moved from Thursday nights and the blackest corner of the unfunniest soul in the world. The new Chelsea Handler-based scripted series called Are You There, Chelsea has landed at 8:30pm, which must be when Hell’s hounds are released, since that unfunny soul will have its work cut out for it. Rock Center with Brian Williams who boasted the biggest “get” with the Sandusky interview, will move from Monday nights to the Wednesday 9pm time slot. The new NBC show Smash, which is NBC’s answer to Glee but with more jazz hands, Broadway lights, and tired, tired things we were excited about in 2009, will take over the Monday, 10pm slot.
Up All Night, the parenting show starring Christina Applegate and Will Arnett, will move to Thursdays at 9:30pm, and 30 Rock, starring Brian Williams’ evil twin, Alec Baldwin, moves to a prime spot at 8pm on Thursdays. Which may be the best move the network has made. 30 Rock is probably the best show the network has to offer. Tuesdays will also showcase something called Fashion Star, the Eddie Cibrian WHO’S NOT Don Draper approach to Project Runway.
The most puzzling thing about this whole bit of musical chairs is the appearance of something called The Firm. SOUND FAMILIAR?! It should. NBC is producing a scripted series based on the feature film and John Grisham novel of the same name. Really? Let’s do some math. Are we seriously interested in revisiting this legal thing that was popular eighteen years ago?! Have we been clawing desperately at the NBC studios saying, ” There has just got to be a good reason why this just okay movie isn’t a series on my television right now!” Is Tom Cruise holding all the good, original scripts hostage on his spaceship? Remember, he was in the original. So Community is shuffled to make room for a television show based on a movie that came out in 1993. 1993? That kid is in freaking college right now! This is stupid.
Anyway, here’s what the NBC mid-season line up will look like.
MONDAYS
8-10 PM – The Voice (season premiere Sunday, February 5; series resumes February 6)
10-11 PM – SMASH (beginning February 6)
TUESDAYS
8-10 PM – The Biggest Loser (beginning January 3)
10-11 PM – Parenthood (through February 28)
10-11 PM – FASHION STAR (beginning Tuesday, March 13, 9-11 p.m. ET with two-hour premiere; one-hour broadcasts resume March 20)
WEDNESDAYS
8-8:30 PM – Whitney (beginning January 11)
8:30-9 PM – ARE YOU THERE, CHELSEA? (beginning January 11)
9-10 PM – Rock Center with Brian Williams (beginning February 8 )
10-11 PM – Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
THURSDAYS
8-8:30 PM – 30 Rock (beginning January 12)
8:30-9 PM – Parks and Recreation
9-9:30 PM – The Office
9:30-10 PM – Up All Night (beginning January 12)
10-11 PM – THE FIRM (two-hour premiere Sunday January 8; Thursday time period premiere January 12)
FRIDAYS
8-9 PM – Who Do You Think You Are? (beginning February 3)
9-10 PM – Grimm
10-11 PM – Dateline NBC
SATURDAYS
8-9 PM – Harry’s Law (encore broadcasts)
9-10 PM — THE FIRM (encore broadcasts)
10-11 PM – Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (encore broadcasts)
SUNDAYS
7-9 PM – Dateline NBC (beginning January 8 )
8-9 PM – Harry’s Law (beginning March 4)
9-11 PM – The Celebrity Apprentice (beginning February 12)
