Creepy Crawly Story Contest!

Hi, Crassholes. As many of you probably remember, pssh is dealing with a mouse problem. Also you might remember my story about an enormous cockroach that tried to eat my bathroom a couple weekends ago. This got me thinking: everyone has a creepy crawly story to tell, and it’s close to Halloween, so why not have a Creepy Crawly Story Contest?!

Here are the ground rules, you slores:

  1. Your story must be about some kind of encounter with an insect, arachnid, rodent or similar creepy crawly. If you don’t consider these things creepy crawly, then just shut up, okay? We’re trying to have some fun here. Jeez. If you’re not sure your story is creepy crawly, ask in the comments. I’ll make a determination.
  2. Your story must be 100% true. We will verify this by connecting your soft parts to a car battery and asking you a barrage of questions until you admit to making your story up. At which point you will be disqualified.
  3. So, yeah, true story, but also: your story should be something that happened to YOU. We don’t want to hear about that time a silkworm pooped in your mammy’s hat or whatever.
  4. I think those are the only rules. Just, you know, gross us out, but also be funny! You guys are funny! Bring the funny!

Okay. So, let’s say that the deadline is Thursday 10pm EST. The winner will be crowned on Friday some time. I might try to make a prize of some (lame) sort happen. This time around, fonzes will determine the winner so vote with care. Fonz as many stories as you like, but make it count, twunts.

Pic via

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *