By DahlELama and The_Obvious
Because it inspired bobbleheads, putting office supplies in Jello, and “That’s What She Said.” Because everything the inimitable Mindy Kaling does is genius. Because few couples on TV can match the chemistry of John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer during the three-year budding courtship of Jim and Pam….except maybe Steve Carell and Amy Ryan playing Michael and Holly. Because Phyllis’s secret bitchy side can be twice as vicious as Angela’s not-so-secret one. Because Oscar is one of the only characters on TV who happens to be gay instead of being A Gay Character. Because Meredith was born without the shame gene. Because Andy will never, ever look out of place in a J. Crew catalog. Because no one can make you laugh, seethe, and weep in one episode like Michael Scott. Because Kevin. Because Ellie Kemper is both hilariously unassuming and unassumingly hilarious. Because of course Ryan didn’t really go to Thailand. Because bears, beets, Battlestar Gallactica. Because planning a backup wedding ceremony made sense to absolutely everyone. Because it was an emergency; we look really good in white.
As the seventh season of The Office comes to a close, and we say goodbye to Michael Scott, we wanted to reflect on why this show about a bunch of employees at a small Scranton paper company has remained a must-see for both of us for nearly a decade.
Our Top 25 The Office Moments in No Particular Order
1. Casino Night: Jim confesses his love to Pam…and it pays off in a big way. Temporarily.
2. Isn’t That Special: Kevin discovers that, thanks to Dwight, Holly thinks he’s retarded.
3. Hardcore Parkour: YouTube in the hands of Michael, Dwight, and Andy leads to hilariously disastrous results… gaynor.
4. Diversity Day: Michael’s Chris Rock impression leads to diversity training in the office and we learn that Dwight enjoys Outback Steakhouse.
5. Surprise! Jim and Pam discover that she’s pregnant…and we learn it without them ever having to say a word.
6. This Man is a Pervert: Dwight discovers that the posters Pam designed to help catch the office-park flasher feature a familiar face.
7. Here Comes Treble: Andy uses his a capella skills–plus his old buddies and some basic phone technology–to melt the polar ice cap of Angela’s heart and ask her on a date
8. Your Meds Are Behind the Junior Mints: In what is arguably Jim’s greatest prank, he sticks all of Dwight’s things into the vending machine.
9. Gamblers Anonymous: The coworkers discover that everyday occurrences are way more fun when you put money on ’em, even if it means listening to Kelly explain Netflix for an hour
10. Meeeeow: Angela unintentionally displays her maternal side when she’s caught on her kittycam grooming her babies…with her tongue. Honorable mention goes to this 6 second clip that should be watched on loop.
11. Plan B…and C: Jim and Pam get married twice, and YouTube reveals its growing influence on pop culture when the office-mates dance their way down the aisle.
12. MSDMSMPMCRAPFRRFTC: Guilt-stricken after hitting Meredith with his car, Michael hosts a 5K fun-run and donates all the money raised to “science.”
13. Prison Mike: When a new employee is revealed to be an ex-con who rather enjoyed his time in prison, Michael steps in with one of his many alter egos to show how hard imaginary life on the inside can be. Video includes a bandanna and a terrible accent.
14. Pants-Off Dance Off: Andy and Kelly engage in an unspoken danceoff at Cafe Disco
15. The Rainbow Connection: Andy has his sights on Pam and Jim has the perfect advice to woo her: Frisbee golf, falsetto, and pig latin.
16. NSFA (Not Suitable for Anyone): Creed shares some brilliance from his blog, www.creedthoughts.gov, which turns out to be nothing but a URL Ryan wrote into the top of a Word document.
17. The Prettiest Art of All the Art: Michael buys Pam’s drawing of Dunder-Mufflin, proving that at least one person believes in her talent.
18. Marry Me You Will? Michael’s proposes to Holly…as Yoda…under the gushing sprinklers.
19. Lazy Scranton: Taking a cue from from one of the greatest videos of our time, Michael and Dwight welcome the Scranton newbies with a homemade tourism video.
20. Future Dwight: The pranks didn’t end while Jim was at the Stamford branch.
21. George Foreman Foot: Michael’s foot–it’s what’s for breakfast. Good thing his First Aid kit includes the all-important bubble wrap.
22. Christmas Party: It’s a tie! Between when Michael draws a line on his Benihana-waitress date to tell her apart from her coworker and Dwight’s ridiculous interactions during dinner.
23. Sausage Fingeritis Affects Over One Americans a Year: Jim and Pam react to Dwight’s poor health care-selection decisions by making up fake diseases.
24. Threat Level Midnight: While the boss is away employees of Dunder Mifflin find Michael’s script and we are introduced to Agent Michael Scarn.
25. Hot Coals Make for a Thick Skin: When Pam successfully walks across hot coals–a feat no one else in the office could accomplish–it gives her the courage to speak her mind for the first time in three years, and she uses the opportunity to tell Jim she called off her wedding for him.
As a bonus, because it’s Steve Carell’s last season as Michael Scott, we wanted to pay him tribute, so behold:
Our 15 Favorite Quotes by Michael Gary Scott, in No Particular Order
1. “That’s what she said! There’s no time! But that’s what she said!”
2. “Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.”
3. “Hey Pam, all this stuff with Kevin, um, it’s pretty scary. And I’m thinking, uh, the next time you’re in the shower, you should check yourself out. You know, give yourself an exam. Those things are like ticking time bags. Alright? Think about it.”
4. “But you know, I’m not going to cry about it. I did that on the way home. No more tears. Which reminds me, I have to get shampoo.”
5. “Yes, money has been a little bit tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I’m sitting on my yacht, am I going to be thinking about much money I have? No. I’m going to be thinking about, how many friends I have. And my children. And my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht so I obviously did pretty well money wise.”
6. “When I discovered YouTube, I didn’t work for five days. I did nothing. I watched Cookie Monster sing Chocolate Rain about a thousand times.”
7. “I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl, so I’m wise and have worms.”
8. “Why did the convict have to be a black guy. It is such a stereotype. I just wish that Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy. Who went to prison for… polluting a black guy’s lake.”
9. “Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me– no, don’t sue me. That is opposite the point I’m trying to make.”
10. “You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards when they’re acting retarded.”
11. “An office is as safe as the people in it. And sometimes those people can drive you to crazy things to show the dangers of the office. That’s the danger I found myself in today. I saved a life. My own. Am I a hero? [pause] I really can’t say, but yes.”
12. “My proudest moment here wasn’t when I increased profits by 17 percent, or cut expenditures without losing a single member of staff. No, no, no. It was a young Guatemalan guy, first job in the country, barely spoke a word of English, but he came to me and said, ‘Mr. Scott, will you be the godfather to my child?’ Didn’t work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.”
13. “You may look around and see two groups here: white collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.”
14. “Would I rather be feared or loved? Um, easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
15. “New York, New York. City so nice they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name.”
Photo: Daily Mail
DahlELama and The_Obvious moonlight as members of Subtle Sexuality when they’re not busy earning gold yogurt medals in Flonkerton, eating pizza that tastes like a flaming circle of garbage, or knitting oven mitts as Christmas presents because that’s how much they love you. Dahl answers the phones, T_O does the numbers, and there is always a fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch.
