Help us find today’s worst Politico article ever

If we can agree on nothing else, let us at least agree to agree that POLITICO (All caps, please. K THX) is absolutely terrible. Politico is the Qadaffi of websites. No… Politico is the Charlie Sheen of websites. Unhinged, incomprehensible, obsessed with meaningless bullshit and you need a chlamydia test after fucking with it.

So why don’t we throw a little contest for the Crasstalk Army:

Let’s prowl Politico in search of the most execrable, mundane, pointless or otherwise awful article on the site today and post a link in the comments.

Tomorrow we’ll announce the winner. The prize is a very special Crasstalk post, written by me, extolling your virtues and affirming your place in history. Who wouldn’t want that?

So to inspire you, I found this pathetic aborted fetus of an article. Here’s the headline:

Smitten: GOP gushes with more Obama praise

First of all, stop gushing on Obama, GOP. Also, you can’t just put “Smitten:” at the front of a headline and expect it to make any sense. Usually you do something like that if you want to attribute the statement to someone. Like for example, “Scientists: Charlie Sheen Not Actually a Real Drug.” See, that would make sense.

To prove the writer’s point that the GOP is gushing on Obama, it goes on for about two solid paragraphs with a lukewarm Haley Barbour quote and then wraps up with this:

In his typical overly-Texan tone, Perry said the president is “a good talker” rather than communicator.

Perry though made clear that he thinks the Obama may like to hear himself talk, frequently mentioned how “long” the president took to answer some of the governor’s questions.

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? GAHHHHHHHHHH POLITICO. WHY DO YOU TEASE US WITH SUCH BULLSHIT????

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