Photo Phriday: Collectibles with Crassitude

Baubles. Tchotchkes. “Family heirlooms.” Whatever you call ’em, we’ve all got ’em in our bedrooms, parents’ living rooms, basements, backyards, and bathrooms. You pretty much take them for granted until you’re older, about to move, and out of boxes. We’re all hoarders on the inside, and that’s what makes us special.

So for this week’s Photo Phriday, SHOW US YOUR KNICK-KNACKS! What sort of crazy crap is cluttering your nightstand (or desk, or dresser, or kitchen table, or spooky attic, wherever)??

Of course, for many of us, this is our first week at this ol’ WordPress here, and unfortunately, there’s no “insert photo” button in the comments. But don’t worry! It’s so easy, you guys, it’s just the simplest thing in the whole wide world, to upload these photos and share your kickshaw. Just follow these helpful tips:

• This is the magic computer code you use to make pictures appear: <img src=”PHOTO URL HERE“>
• And it’s “photo URL“, not “photo file.” See, Crasstalk is a stubborn mistress, and she doesn’t accept gifts from your hard drive–only from the internet. Upload your photo to Facebook, Flickr, TinyPic, or any other online photo hosting site.
• Or, if it’s something of which there’s more than one in the world, you might wanna just see if there’s a picture of your chosen knickknack online somewhere.
• So for instance, let’s say I want to share with you all a photo of, oh, I dunno, my stepdad. But I don’t have any photos on my computer of him, and he’s out getting wasted again at the Applebee’s bar. Luckily, I find a picture of him online and insert it like so:

<img src=”http://www.stepdadsgettingitonwitheachother.com/passed-out/shirt_unbuttoned.jpg“>

• I go to the site in question, browse new pics for about a half hour (optional), subscribe to the site’s RSS feed (also optional), and then find the image of my dad. I right-click the picture (Ctrl-click, if I’m on a Mac) and select “View Image.” A new page appears, with just my photo on it! Oh boy.  Now all I do is copy-and-paste the URL and plug it into the img src html code. Voilà!

I’ll go first. What you’re looking at (above) is a fake-gold genie lamp. My grandma owned two antique stores once upon a time, so when I was younger I’d sometimes hang out there for hours, just gazing upon all the brooches and vintage pins, examining Depression-era dolls, flipping through first-edition Mark Twain paperbacks, and other stuff like that. It was all very cute and lovely and, now that I think about it, maybe the first clear sign that I was gay. My grandma gave this to me one Passover, and it’s been in my bedroom ever since.