Fartin’ Around with Ruby

Hi fans and Dawgz!!  Well, it’s raining today so no rompies 🙁  But here is a picture of me from a few days ago.

We went rompies yesterday and it was awesome!  First, we got there and Codename:Stabby realized that I got into the car naked and did not have on my collar or leash, so we almost had to go home, which was not awesome.  But a nice fit runner lady in the car next to us heard Codename:Stabby’s swears as she looked for the spare leash and gave us a rope which I used as a leash.  Rompie saved!!  On rompies we met a Forest Department guy in a truck and he told me that I am awesome, so that was pretty good.  Then we went back to the car and drove back to town and did some errands and went home.  Then I ate and went to sleep.

All in all it was a good day.  Toes crossed that we get some rompies this weekend!

Whine? No, Wine!

Ms Stabby claims she buys wine by the label.  Ms Stabby, you are a marketer’s dream.  However, I suspect a fair number of people out there do the same.  I have been known to give a wine a shot if the label amuses me as well.  Most of the time I regret it (like you Cupcake!), but I have found a few gems over the years.  I aim to write a weekly column on wine to share my knowledge gained over the years of excessive drinking.  Maybe I’ll throw in some recipes down the road once I educate you Franzia loving goofballs on how to avoid swill.

I’m going to start off this week with one of my favorite red varietals:  Pinot Noir. The Dean of American Winemakers, Andre Tchelistcheff, once said: “God made Cabernet Sauvignon whereas the devil made Pinot Noir.” That is because the Pinot Noir grape is a damn difficult grape to grow, let alone grow well.  It is prone to various rots and mildews and does best in cooler climates with chalky clay soils.  For the vine to produce delicious wine, it must be very low yielding; that is why it is hard to find a good cheap Pinot Noir.  The Pinot vine requires a lot of hand holding with regards to pruning – it is much like an insecure, high-maintenance girlfriend – it needs lots of attention. The grapes are in tight clusters, very dark and shaped like a pine cone.  The wine color should be a very deep garnet color, a hint of brown is acceptable.

So let’s chat a moment about where this finicky bitch grows well.  In Europe you can find some damn fine Pinots in France, particularly the Burgundy region.  However, I am most partial to the Red Sancerre grown in the Loire valley.  If you can ever get your paws on Red Sancerre, back up the truck and load up.  It is pricey, but it is a fabulous red wine that you serve slightly chilled and great to drink in summer.  You can also find some very respectable and well-priced Pinots in Marlborough New Zealand and Tasmania.  Italy also has some Pinots but I think they suck.  In the US, Pinot Noir Nirvana is in Oregon, particularly Willamette Valley.  Please note it is pronounced thusly:  Wi-LAM-it.  Please don’t be a tool and pronounce it WIL-a-mette.  2008 was the best year in history for Willamette Pinots.  Try to get those if you can.  California’s Russian River Valley, Sonoma Coast and Santa Rita Hills (in Santa Barbara) also make some nice Pinot Noirs.  If you find a pinot from pretty much anywhere else, ignore it.  It probably is awful.

Ok, now you know a bit about the grape and where it grows well.  Let’s talk turkey about which ones are fabulous and at what price points.  You can always get a great bottle of wine for $50 at your wine shop, but who wants to pop a $50 bottle on a Tuesday?  Not me.  So below is a smattering of Pinots I like, a tasting note or two on them and what they cost.   Finding a Pinot under $15 of quality is a challenge, but it can be done.  Note, I’m not putting down the vintage on most as I’m choosing wines that have been fairly consistent year over year.  Trying to keep it simple.

$10 and under bunch:

 

 Block Nine Pinot Noir: I just had this at my neighborhood Xmas party.  Great wine.  Bright berry fruit a bit of cocoa.  Good body with a slight oakiness and wonderful full mouthfeel.  Ms Stabby, it has a pretty label — but I like simple labels.

 

 

Bogle California Pinot Noir:  There is some nice Russian River Valley fruit in these Pinot so that helps it out tremendously.  This wine is a bit herbaceous (green tasting), strawberry and cherry.  Finish is long and silky with some oakiness.

Castle Rock Willamette Pinot Noir (only had 2008): This is really one of the few Willamette’s at this price point and it is 2008!  Good every day pinot with cherry and spice, bit of oak and floral notes.  Nice velvety finish.

 

 

$10-$15 range

Crossings Pinot Noir Marlborough New Zealand (only tried 2008):  Macerated black cherry is very up front in both taste and smell. Very chewy tannins and by that I mean heavy – worth opening up for ½ hour + before quaffing or use one of those aerators.  Blackberry in the finish.

 

The Rhone Gang Pinot Noir and Grenache “Le Hold-up No. 08”:  I liked this wine for a couple reasons.  First of all it is unique – this is a Rhone meets Burgundy battle of the wines where we all win. 70% Pinot Noir 30% Grenache this baby was aged in stainless steel tanks.  No oak taste here.  Lots of fruit and bright clean finish.  And it is a screw top!  I love screw tops.  They are like miniskirts – easy access.

 

 

42 Degrees South (Frogmore Creek) Pinot Noir Tasmania:  Completely hand picked grapes in Tasmania give this vino a big red cherry and black current nose and taste.  Tannins are integrated (that means it isn’t as heavy tasting – not as much ‘dirt’ taste) and a nice finish.

 

 

 

 

$15-$25 range
M by Martellotto Pinot Noir Willamette Valley:  Full disclosure – I sell this wine so I am a bit biased.  However, I really do love this wine.  The 2008 vintage is fabulous and I highly recommend you grabbing it if you can get it.  Grown sustainably, it is a wine with lots of berry up front, bit of spice, touch of oakiness and a long finish.  Tannins are easy on the mouth.  This is a wine that you can eat with or without food — an easy drinking wine.  Not heavy, but elegant. Only 2250 bottles produced.

 

A to Z Oregon Pinot Noir:  90 Points from Wine Spectator.  This should be readily available all across the country.  It needs a bit of air before you drink it or you will miss the raspberry and cherry bomb of flavor up front.  Bit of pepper in there too.  Lighter bodied, less tannic but a nice finish.

 

 

Franck Millet Sancerre Rouge:  YES!!!!  Sancerre Rouge is delicious.  Nice nose of cherries and violets.  Big fruit/berry taste, some tannins but not too much.  Serve this baby slightly chilled and you will love me for it. (Sorry no label!)

Walnut City Wineworks Pinot Noir Reserve Willamette Valley:  Ok, another one I sell, but this is exceptional.  If a wine could be the embodiment of elegance this is it.  Walnut City Wineworks are sustainably grown wines from a couple of former Dead Heads.  They are artisan farmers more than anything else.  Big berry and cherry nose and taste up front. Middle and finish are smooth with a bit of tannins, chocolate, spice, lavender and smoke. This is really the standard by which Willamette Pinots should be measured. (There is a non-reserve, but this is so much better)

$25+  (Big range in price here)

Twomey Cellars by Silver Oak Russian River Pinot Noir (I’ve only had the 2007): –90 point wine and it should be because it is pricey.  Lots of berry, rose petals, dried cherries, and cinnamon.  Velvety finish, full body. Awesome.

 

 

 

 

Domaine Serene Yamhill Cuvee Willamette Pinot Noir: Robert Parker rated the 2007 90 points.  This is one big ass wine.  Bing cherries, pomegranate, cola and berries.  French oak and nice tannins round out this wine.  Delicious.

 

 

 

 

 

2005 Nuits St George Murgers Bertagna – This is a wine you save for when you inherit some wealth, get engaged or get access to a nice expense account. (It runs about $115+ and is hard to find).  It is hard to describe how tasty this wine is.  It is everything a Burgundy should be.  Delicious berry and cherry notes, spicy middle, rich and full despite the tannins being a bit subdued.  Oh my God, I love this wine.

In general, the US and New Zealand wines don’t age as well as the Burgundies.  I wouldn’t, in general, buy a Pinot Noir earlier than a 2006 vintage that is from the US or New Zealand, whereas I’d happily buy some in the early 2000’s from Burgundy.

What if you cannot find this at your local wine shop?  I’m a huge purchaser of wines on the internet.  You can get great deals on more expensive wines, even with shipping costs, as tax is eliminated in most states.  Here are a few of my favorite internet purveyors:

www.bighammerwines.com

www.klwines.com

www.zachys.com (Although it will not be tax free in NY as they are in Scarsdale.  Shipping is free though in NYC, Westchester and lower CT)

Any questions about what any of these terms mean, feel free to ask.  Next week, I’ll probably do Cabernet but I am open to suggestions.

Get to know: Roy Ayers

You’ve probably listened to Roy Ayers, even if you don’t realize it. After James Brown and maybe a few others, he’s probably among the most-sampled musicians of all time. 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, A Tribe Called Quest, Digable Planets and just about every single house producer who ever came long have all used Roy Ayers samples.

You should know who Roy Ayers is.

So who is he? Well Ayers is hugely famous for being one of the greatest-ever players of the vibraphone (which is not the same as a xylophone). According to his biography, he grew up in what is now South Central Los Angeles and got his first pair of vibraphone mallets at the age of five…. as a gift from Lionel Fucking Hampton. Basically, Ayers was born to play music. It was his destiny.

So he started off in jazz and then the 70s came around so he mixed soul music, funk and disco into his sound. The rest is history. Since then he’s played alongside Chaka Khan, Fela Kuti, The Roots, Erykah Badu and probably dozens of electronic dance music producers. He’s ubiquitous and there could be no modern neo-soul music without him. And while he’s still hugely popular around the world and he’s still touring quite a bit, here in his own country I feel like we’ve forgotten about him a little bit. (We have a nasty habit of doing that.)

So here are 10 Roy Ayers songs to enjoy…


“Running Away” (Live)
Roy’s most famous song, this is jazz music that you can let loose to. It’s such fun, fast, alive music. Plus I love the guitar solo at the end, and Roy’s energy on stage is perfect. One of the YouTube commenters said it best: “This is where Jamiroquai got their sound.”


“Searching”


“Everybody Loves the Sunshine”
Underground California soul music with lovely synthesizers and great vocals. A perfect beach song… for people who like to eat a box full of pills before going to the beach.


“Can’t You See Me?”


“Love Will Bring Us Back Together”
A brilliant slab of disco funk with a squiggly little keyboard riff. I love one YouTube commenter’s take on this song: “i know, i know, i’m an old head, but gather round you younguns and let me tell you about a time when THIS kind of music played at house parties…. picture it, 1979 when i was 18, no guns, no gang violence, girls (most of the time) acted like ladies, cars were made of steel, songs spoke of love, (not bangin’ that thang), and people knew how to communicate…now put down that damn x-box, listen to this & learn something….know-it-all-whipp­er-snappa !”


“Change Up The Groove”


“Battle of the Vibes” (Live)
Here’s a 1988 concert where Roy and his percussionist do a little battle on the vibraphone. This is magic. Makes me wish I paid attention when they had us banging on glockenspiels in the fifth grade. Also, if you ever get invited over to Roy’s House for an impromptu jam session (hey, it could happen), remember to bring a towel. Don’t be sweatin’ on the man’s vibes!


“2000 Blacks Got To Be Free”
In 1980 Roy teamed up with Fela Kuti to give us this little slice of amazing funk. The horns are all Fela’s style but the spoken-word vocals are all Roy.


“Aragon”
This one was on the soundtrack to “Coffy,” with Pam Grier. So basically it can’t get much cooler than this.


“Get On Up, Get On Down”

Gawker Dating, Part IV: Continuing the “To Do” List

See what I did there? I used “To Do” which is sort of a generic errand list headline and appropriated it for Gawker dating because these are also people that I would “do” under the right circumstances, in this case “do” implying “have dirty sex with,” because “do” is often used as…what’s that? Get the hell on with it because no one cares what I have to say and everyone just wants to see the pretty people? All right then. Ungrateful bastards. Continue reading

Sharing My Pants: Warm & Cozies, or Music to Survive Winter 2010

Warm and cozy penguins. Aw.

Let’s be blunt: Winter in Canada is fucking dark and cold and we have to find ways to sustain ourselves up here. For me, that means making mixes that keep me warm (alongside a glass or two of red).

Track Listing:

1. Cloudy – Simon & Garfunkel

2. Still Sound – toro y moi

3. Can’t Hear My Eyes – Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti

4. Wet Cement – The Morning Benders

5. Eyes – Still Corners

6. Don’t Blame Me – The Everly Brothers

7. Demon Host – Timbre Timber

8. Desire Lines – Deerhunter

9. Lover of Mine – Beach House

10. Quick Canal – Atlas Sound (w/ Laetitia Sadler)

11. Asleep at a Party – Memory Cassette

12. Outer Limits – SLEEP ? OVER

13. Chinatown – Wild Nothing

14. Endless Summer – Still Corners

15. Who Loves the Sun – The Velvet Underground

16. Marathon – Tennis

17. Boyfriend – Best Coast

18. Pleasure Sighs – The Morning Benders

19. Hospice Gates – Lower Dens

20. Helicopter – Deerhunter

21. All I Wanna Do – The Beach Boys

22. Walk in the Park – Beach House

23. I Saw Her in the Anti-War Demonstration – Jens Lekman

http://8tracks.com/sharempants/warm-and-cozies-2010

The Freaking Happiest Place on Earth

Tonight, as I sunk into a steamy, near-scalding bath, I cursed myself for planning this vacation. I must have been feverish when I browsed online travel packages at Orbitz and Expedia. I must have been in the throws of delirium when I breathlessly talked my unwitting husband into “five days at Disney – for a pittance – really, a trifle!”

Somehow, I’d forgotten how much I hate being in a sea of people, how weirdly germ-phobic I get at theme parks (I am convinced that I would be able to see the collected amalgamation of germs and bacteria on the hand rails that divide the cattle lines IF ONLY DISNEY WOULD TURN UP THE DAMN LIGHTS. How do all the tottering grandparents see where the hell they are shuffling?) and how much I really, really hate Disney for how aggressively they market to children.  I also forgot how child-like my husband becomes in these situations. He is not a childish person, but when forced into situations like this, with little hope of escape, he cycles between petulant, needy, and exasperated. “Do you have any gum?” he asks, huffy and expectant as a teenager as I riffle through my bag. Engrossed in the work email he can’t help but read and respond to, he wanders off in the wrong direction while typing missives on his phone, forgets where we’ve left the stroller that Little A must have because her “feet hurrrrrt,” and sighs dramatically at every sign posting the wait time for every ride.  In this relationship, I usually own the sarcasm, but enforced enthusiasm brings it out in him: “Oh, you’re hungry? Well, I spilled mustard all over my jacket and my sweater. You could lick that off. It should tide you over until we can find something to eat.”

I should have known the vacation was going to be a disaster when we told Little A that we were going to Disney World.  Last week, when we told her, she cried. Not tears of joy, but bitter, spoiled tears. “I don’t want to go! I’ve already been there! I don’t need to go again! Your plan to surprise me has been crushed!”

I should have transferred the vacation plans right then. I should have called my desperate to babysit in-laws and asked them to take her for a week while my husband and I went to Key West or visited friends in New York or spent a week anywhere but here. But I didn’t. I powered through, plowed ahead, bound and determined to have a good freaking time regardless of all the signs in the universe and tears of my child telling me not to do it.

I’d just taken her last spring, for one whirlwind day while my husband had a business meeting in another part of Florida. She and I had a lovely day at the park. I’d packed my bright orange carry everything bag well, prepped my child well, had a specific budget and a plan, and I stuck to it. Little A had a plan for that day, too, and it involved a princess makeover at Disney’s on-site salon (and by “salon” I mean child beauty pageant warm-up station). Although it went against every fiber of my being, I let her do it. When she emerged from the salon, she was delighted by her glitter-encrusted princess bun and loved her purple eyeshadow and red lip gloss. At least she chose to dress like Belle because, according to Little A, “she’s smart and loves to read.”

All day, she was fawned over by park staff and complimented by strangers (child beauty pageant approving strangers, I assumed). She screamed with delight on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride, dashed through the Pirates of the Caribbean line to squeeze in a second ride before the park closed, and cheered during the fireworks display over Cinderella’s castle at the end of the night. “Momma, all my dreams came true today,” she said as we made our way out of the park.

It was too good. I shouldn’t have messed with it, but I did. One great day was not enough. No! Daddy was busy last time and missed it! We should go as a family, share the magic, blah de freaking blah. Why can’t I ever just leave damn well enough alone?

I try to laugh in the face of adversity, even my own homemade variety, but instead, today, I whined, grumbled, cajoled, and hand-sanitized my way through the happiest place on Earth. As I soaked away the pain (and croup germs some little weasely toddler spewed in my direction), I felt a bit better. I made it through, a little battered and bruised, vowing never to come here again.

Of course, we are going back on Friday, for one last day. I mean, while we’re here, we might as well…

Bob Marley is dead: Dancehall reggae of the 80s and early 90s

Jamaica in the 80s and early 90s was a tough place. OK, I wasn’t there, but the country was certainly facing a lot of challenges. By 1982, the spiritual godfather of reggae, Bob Marley was dead. Peter Tosh would be brutally murdered in 1987. In 1980, after years of left-leaning governments, the Reagan-allied Edward Seaga took over as prime minister and the political violence would continue for much of the next 30 years. Meanwhile Jamaica’s economy was decimated by cocaine-related violence, high inflation and IMF-mandated austerity measures.

But despite all that misery, Jamaica, the tiny little island, truly grew into a world superpower when it came to music. Here are some tracks from the first post-Bob generation of Jamaican dancehall performers. This isn’t a canon, just a small selection of songs I like. So turn up your subwoofer…


“Diseases” by Michigan and Smiley – 1982


“Zungguzungguguzungguzeng” by Yellowman – 1983


“Police in Helicopter” by John Holt – 1983


“Under Mi Sensi” by Barrington Levy – 1984


“Herbman Smuggling” by Yellowman and Fathead – 1984


“Here I Come” by Barrington Levy – 1984


“Under Mi Sleng Teng” by Wayne Smith – 1985


“Agony” by Red Dragon – 1988


“Murder Dem” by Ninjaman – 1989


“The Herb” by Tony Rebel – 1990


Nicodemus and Super Cat perform live in New York – 1990


“Dem No Worry We” by Super Cat – 1992


“You Don’t Love Me (No, no, no)” by Dawn Penn – 1992

Gawker Dating, Part III: If Only Things Were Different

You know how sometimes you find that perfect guy, but he’s 52, gay, and lives in Hawaii and you’re 24, straight, and live with your parents in Hoboken? Well, compound that by like a million and that’s what it’s like to look at GawkerDating as a Married. Because it’s more than reading a post and getting to that point where you see that the sexual orientations or locations don’t match up; it’s reading a post and seeing that even if everything matches up, it really doesn’t matter, and all you can do is make a creepy comment about the softness of some guy’s hair or excellence of some girl’s rack. Which isn’t to say that you (OK, we) want it to matter, but it feels like it should, like everyone should be able to get in on the fun equally, up until you send a picture of yourself to someone who decides you’re not hot and stops returning your PMs. Because isn’t that what life and love are all about? Continue reading

Rompies with Ruby

Today’s rompie was Grrrrrrreat!  We had the place to ourselves which meant I got to go off leash!  I ran around like a Blue Moon Lunatic.  We only did two miles, but I was off leash, like I said, so it was great.  Here’s a picture of me with my leash off.

People tell me that I’ve leaned out and slimmed down since getting to California.

Anyway, if you’re in my neck of the woods and you want to go rompies, email or twitter me and we’ll hook it up Dawg!