Has The Rapture Index Dropped the Ball?

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2 million fish were found dead in The Chesapeake Bay. 100,000 fish went belly up in Northwest Arkansas. Thousands of birds died in Arkansas, Louisiana and Sweden. They just fell out of the sky.

WTF?

Naturally, I turned to The Rapture Index (www.raptureready.com) for answers. Is it Armageddon? Is it Rapture Time? If you’ve missed my blog posts on the issue, The Rapture Index is self-defined as “the prophetic speedometer of end-time activity”. The Index measures a variety of categories including false christs, liberalism, plagues, droughts, and the occult. The record Index high was 182 on Sept 24, 2001. The record low of 57 was recorded on December 12, 1993.

There is no specific Index measure for dying birds or fish, but if I remember correctly from the movie The Seventh Sign, dying fish and birds falling from the sky are definitely a bad sign. I went right to The Rapture Index for answers and what do you think I found? Nothing! The Index has not been updated since January 3rd and it’s sitting steady at 173. That’s pretty high but there is no mention whatsoever of the bird/fish death plague and how it might affect the rapture. Should I pack for the rapture? Should I find heathens to watch my pets after the rapture? Should I bother to send in a check for this month’s mortgage? Dammit, I need answers. If I can’t turn to The Rapture Index, where can I turn?

Crossposted from bbqcornnuts.typepad.com

Wait, what? No, no, really, what?

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What the frick can these two possibly have to say to one another?

CS: “I’m on a show. A television show?”
DJ Paul Mitchell: “I’m on a show, too!”
CS: “Maybe you’ve heard of it? On HBO? It’s called Big Love.”
DJ Paul Mitchell: “Heh, heh. I got me some big love here, if you know what I mean!”
CS: “No, no, you moron. Big Love. It’s about Mormons.”
DJ Paul Mitchell: “Yeah, yeah, like them singers. In like a choir or some such.”
CS: “No, no, you moron…well, yeah, like that. Look, my show’s ending, so how about I make you my next project? How attached to that hair are you?”
DJ Paul Mitchell: “My hair is totally attached to my body. Have you seen my body? It is my third best feature.”
CS: “I don’t even want to know what your first and second best features are. Just shut up and smile. They’re taking our picture.”

My hair hurts just thinking about this.

The Jersey Shore Liveblog

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We’re liveblogging the Jersey Shore season premiere. Because, well, if we don’t watch it, how will we learn about various hot tub-related viruses?

The best new songs that sound like old songs

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Ok so we’re stretching the definition of “new” to basically be anything made in the past five years. Here are a bunch of retro-ish songs I like. That’s all. Enjoy.


“Baby” by Phenomenal Handclap Band
Someone listened to a lot of: Donny Hathaway


“Your Magic is Working” by Of Montreal
Someone listened to a lot of: Donovan


“Mark of the Unnamed” by Budos Band
Someone listened to a lot of: Fela Kuti


“Do It” by Daddy’s Favorite
Someone listened to a lot of: Booker T & The MGs


“Attack of the 60 Foot Lesbian Octopus” by Does It Offend You, Yeah
Someone listened to a lot of: The Clash


“Bang Pop” by Free Energy
Someone listened to a lot of: Edgar Winter Group


“The Merkin Jerk” by Javelin
Someone listened to a lot of: Traffic


“I Been Born Again” by Phenomenal Handclap Band
Someone listened to a lot of: Eric Burdon and The Animals


“Who Fingered Rock ‘n Roll” by Cornershop
Someone listened to a lot of: Bachman Turner Overdrive


“Tomato in the Rain” by Kaiser Chiefs
Someone listened to a lot of: Cream


“Mushrooms and Roses” by Janelle Monae
Someone listened to a lot of: White Album-era Beatles


“Fool For You” by Cee-lo Green
Someone listened to a lot of: The Isley Brothers

Get out of your hooch rut

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Walnut City Wineworks 2006 Viognier
Columbia Valley
Retail price: About $15

Some foolish people resolve each January to drink a little less wine. Pure arglebargle. How about resolving to trying some new wines and get out of your wine rut? Break free of your go-to Chards and Cabs and try an uncommon varietal.

Walnut City Viognier labelEnter Walnut City Wineworks’ Viognier. This 100% Viognier wine is produced in Columbia Valley. The Walnut City guys are best known for their fabulous Pinot Noirs but don’t let that make you shy away from this delicious wine.

The Skinny:
When you take your first sip of this pretty straw colored wine you will be hit gobsmacked with aromas of wildflowers, granny smith apples and peaches. So heady are these aromas, you will swear that you are about to drink a sweet wine, but not so. This is a complex tasting wine and much like When Harry Met

I'll have what she is having

Sally, you will notice more and more details as you revisit it. You will certainly be imitating Meg Ryan’s “Yes! Yes!” after drinking this treat. There are sweet hints of pineapple, apricot and along with ginger and coconut. Absolutely no oak in this baby. I drank this straight from my wine storage unit, so it was about 55-58 degrees. I wouldn’t serve it any colder or you will miss the richness and variety of the flavors.

Viogniers can be a bit oily on the mouth – they are the bluefish of wines — but this baby is full, soft, velvety and has a tiny bit of crispness in the finish. The alcohol level is a comforting 14.63%. Perfect after a rather trying parenting day, but drink it only after you are done carpooling. Walnut City Wineworks makes their wines with sustainable farming methods. So you can feel confident that drinking this wine is actually helping Mother Earth.

Crib Notes:
– Just so you don’t sound like a philistine at the wine shop, Viognier is pronounced vee-ohn-YAY.  (To listen to a sexy Frenchman say it click here)
– Viognier is often blended with other white wines, like Chardonnay, to give those wines a softness they lack.
– Columbia Valley is the largest AVA (American Viticultural Area) in Washington state. It has a unique climate which produces wines which are fruit forward, yet they retain the balance known from European wines.
– Viogniers are great with spicy foods like Thai as the fruit forward and highly aromatic characteristics complement the heat of these foods. Perfect take-out food wine.

Mental Weather Report

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Morning haze, followed by a brief frappuccino-induced, brain freeze. Increased acuity likely. 85% chance of mid-morning shower.

Book Club

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Hey there folks, I just want to throw out a few possible rules/guidelines/decisions for the upcoming book club. Feel free to disagree, and/or add more of your own.

1.  Book Club discussion will be posted every third Sunday of the month at 7pm EST.  While it will be nice to have a lot of us at that particular time, feel free to add to the discussion at your leisure.

2.  If it’s your turn to host book club please choose a book that is widely available and preferably also available in paperback.  I guess Kindle availability would be a plus for those folks, but I don’t that it’s absolutely necessary, right?

3.  Try not to pick the same genre or author as the previous Book Club selection, let’s mix things up.

4.  Whether or not you are hosting, as you read the book think of some questions to ask your fellow readers so we can keep the discussion going.

5.  If you are hosting, pick the next host before your Sunday so they have enough time to chose a book.

6. New book selections should be posted in a separate post the third Monday of each month.

7.  If you have any suggestions for future picks, or problems with that book, post your comments in that post ^

8.  You don’t have to stick to traditional book club books though you’re welcome to.  Add in the classics, graphic novels, sci-fi  (if you must), anything that floats your boat. Expand our horizons.

9.  If you don’t have an intense debate commenting account get one now!

10. If you are hosting, you’ll need to have a Crasstalk account.

11. Even if you think you are going to hate this book/genre why not give it a try.  You can tell us exactly what you dislike in the discussion.  And if I’m going to give sci-fi a try, I expect you all to give everything a go.

So if you have any book suggestions, questions, or general comments this is the place to let me know about it.  I’ll post my selection a bit early just in case we need to work out any kinks.  So the book will be announced next week, and the first discussion will take place on February 20th.

Edit –  Now that I think about it, is posting the book on the third Monday okay? Will that give you all enough time to go get the book and read it? Or should we post it earlier? So many decisions!!!