As I write this I’m flying to Vegas for my cousins wedding. Because nothing says Sanctity of Marriage like a place that allows drive through weddings, Elvis impersonators with legalized prostitution. To take my mind off how heterocentric this entire process can be, I’ve decided to take out my bitterness on SkyMall because let’s face it — SkyMall is asking for it. Continue reading
Get ready kids. Continue reading
The Des Moines Register has endorsed Mitt Romney for president. This is their first endorsement of a Republican presidential candidate since the spectacularly successful presidency of sweaty felon Richard Nixon.
The endorsement was not without controversy, according to reports, with considerable whiskey-fueled shouting coming from the editorial offices. “Mr Romney exudes a virile, Nixonian charm, a heady can-do musk that will get this country back to work,” the endorsement drunkenly opines. The logic-free piece praises President Obama’s stimulus package, rambles a bit, and then asserts that consumer and business confidence will rise through a magical, unexplained process if Nixon Romney is elected. Continue reading
Here, you can post your information/worries/concerns/bitches about this damn hurricane. So far as we know in NYC, the MTA will shut down at 7 pm tonight and they are expecting even higher surges than previously predicted, Zone A is being evacuated and the schools will shut down tomorrow. Continue reading
Well, here we go again. Here is our list of hurricane resources for you kids on the East Coast. This year I actually included Vermont since Launie was the only one who actually got hit last year. Stay safe, kids.
Good morning gang and especially you Crasstalkers on the East Coast. By the time you are reading this there is probably only about 24 hours left before you start to feel the effects of the hurricane. Not ready yet? Go, now. Here’s a couple of things to get you started and a list of emergency contacts and numbers you may need. I have included mostly state government links, but please feel free to add info from your own area in the comments. I tried to include Twitter links for each area so you can get emergency information on your phone if you lose power and internet access. Stay safe and be sensible out there. Continue reading
Poor Demeter. Her daughter, Persephone, was taken by Hades and carried away to the underworld. Demeter was the goddess of agriculture and the earth withered as crops dried up because Demeter was only concerned with finding her daughter. The cries of the hungry forced Zeus to get involved, and he ordered Hades to release Persephone from the underworld and return her to her mother. Continue reading
Ain’t no mountain high enough. Continue reading
About the time I herniated a disk in my back, a new guy named Joe transferred into my unit from a grunt battalion. His leg was held together by about fifty brazillion pins, thanks to a drunken sergeant who hazed him and about three other guys late one night and kicked Joe over a railing. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that hazing in the military is dead; it’s alive and well, just a little more subtle these days. Continue reading
From the shit-lagoons of Iowa, to the maple warrens of New Hampshire, to the dark merman-infested swamps of Florida, we come now to the End Times. After thirty-nine Republican frontrunners, from the Eye of Moron to vile space-beast Newt Gingrich; from pizza-comedian Herman Cain to Texas governor Nathan Bedford Forrest Gump, after three hundred and fifty-seven GOP candidate debates, and one vice-presidential debate, we arrived at the third and final presidential debate. This was the last question in the presidential job interview. Time to close the deal. Continue reading
Everybody’s working for the weekend and now it’s here so slow down and relax. Continue reading