Just putting this up for review. I am putting up something fun later tonight.
So here is the first #Crassyalk educational film from the propaganda ministry. Enjoy.
The Grand Inquisitor
1833 posts
Everybody Loves Reptilians
Most conspiracy theories rely on the same old tired villains and puppet masters to frighten believers into reading really crappy websites and investing all of their money in survival gardens. The Illuminati, the Free Masons, the Jews, blah, blah, blah, we have heard this all before. Note to conspiracy people: give the Jew thing a rest. They are only .2% of the worlds population, and bitching that Jews control the world does literally make you a fucking Nazi.
However, one group of crazies has made a dedicated effort to keep things 
fresh in paranoid land. These are those who have the insight to see the shadows that surround us. They know that there is more than meets the eye in the day-to-day machinations of the global power structure. These are the believers in the Reptilians (sometimes called Draconians if your not a total poseur). These folks know that many of the most powerful people in the world are not only working against the good of humanity, but that they are not even human. Everybody panic!!!!!!
Essentially, the reptilian conspiracy says that a group of space aliens (or extra-dimensional travelers, depending on your Thorazine dose) have infiltrated the human power structure and are secretly running the world. The reptilians have been around for most of human history, and we all know Jesus, Angelina Jole, and George H.W. Bush are reptilians. You can see a full list here, at this uniquely designed website.
Need proof that that the reptilians walk among us? It’s in their beady little eyes.
They even control the media.
By the way, this is the greatest video ever loaded to YouTube.
So, why should we be afraid of the reptilians, they have been here forever, right? Well, the problem is that the reptilians want to get rid of human beings so that they can have all of the Earth’s delicious resources for themselves. That is why there are so many natural disasters (not climate change) and why our civil liberties are being taken away (not weak political leadership). Fortunately, there is another group of aliens called the Vulturites (really), who are trying to protect humanity from both the reptilians and our own destructive tendencies.
David Icke: Soldier for Truth
The world’s most prominent expert on reptilians is Brit David Icke. Icke’s qualifications included being a mediocre footballer and the British equivalent of a shock jock (sound familiar, Mr. Beck)? Since he started peddling this claptrap, Icke has written a number of books, but makes no money off of them because he was too stupid to secure his own copyright. Nonetheless Icke, has a successful website and does extensive speaking tours so that jackasses like you won’t be made into lizard food. The motto of the website is Exposing the Dreamworld We Believe to be Real, which kind of sums up the whole delusional enterprise. There are of course those who do not tow Icke’s line about the reptilians. The reptilian believer community is full of Judean People’s Front type divisions and since everyone involved is crazy it is hard to sort out who is who. Bonus: Alex Jones and the Prison Planet people actually really hate the reptilian people because it makes the conspiracy community look crazy (lulz). However, they all agree that we are doomed if we don’t continue to watch them on the internet.
Note: This is the worst video ever posted on YouTube.
So stay vigilant Crasstalkers, the final battle is coming. Prepare yourself for war. Soon you will be forced to choose sides, and you never know who is watching.
I am just opening this so people can stay in touch in the comments if Gawker goes down. I am currently hunting around for news on this. Can I ask that people not post live links in the comments? Let’s keep this place below the radar.
This is so much more interesting than doing my laundry.
Jokes are in the Alt Text.
Dance Break:
Wait, are we sure she isn’t on 4chan?
Sitting in front of the computer for long periods is bad for you…
For Adrian:
For Swifter:
Gnosis seems like a really lame name. Can’t they come up with something with a little sass.
More suspects:
Oh Christ, now we’re at this:
They Have All Our Bases!!!
When I was a kid I lived near Strategic Air Command outside of Omaha Nebraska. One night on the news I saw a simulation of what would happen if a nuclear bomb exploded in Omaha. To say I was traumatized would be a huge understatement (fuck you Dan Rather). From that point on I was obsessed with nuclear war. I spent my teenage years as one of those insufferable nuclear freeze people until I gave up and became an angry punk who thought humanity was doomed.
Part of my obsession was a constant search for images depicting nuclear war. I wanted to know what it looked
like, what it would be like, when the end came. I watched every movie or TV show I could get me hands on. This of course did not calm my fears, but I have always been a bit of a masochist so I did it anyway.
The recent flap over the START treaty brought my anxiety about nuclear way back (though with a lot less intensity). I was trying to explain to a 24 year old coworker why the treaty was so essential and why nuclear disarmament is so important. I realized that we had grown up in totally different worlds and that people younger than me don’t remember the anxiety of the “we begin bombing in five minutes” world. So I am creating an archive of the insanity here. These are some of my favorites depictions of nuclear war, the boogeyman of my childhood.
The Day After: I actually watched this at a nuclear freeze meeting. The group had a viewing during the broadcast. My friend Patty lost it and sobbed for an hour after it was over. It is really not one of my faves, but it does have the guy form Third Rock from the sun and Steve Guttenberg. Here’s the money shot:
Threads: This is the British film that is a bit like The Day After. It is actually grimmer, and it is a lot more graphic. I love the honesty of this film (there will be no escape in a nuclear war). Here is a clip, but you can actually watch the whole film on YouTube if you would like.
Special Bulletin: This 1983 made for TV movie is about terrorists detonating a bomb in Charleston, South Carolina. This is formatted like a newscast in a sort of War of the Worlds kind of format. I watched this when it originally aired and didn’t sleep for a week afterwards.
When the Wind Blows: An animated film about an older British couple in the aftermath of a nuclear attack. This movie is actually quite sweet, and it has music by David Bowie.
Miriale Mile: The ultimate love story of the Cold War starring Anthony Edwards and Mare Winingham (bonus: Denise Crosby is in it also). Edwards finds the girl of his dreams on the night LA is attacked by the Soviets and he races to escape the city with his new love. This is a great movie.
Testament: A haunting, beautiful movie about the aftermath of a nuclear war for residents of a California suburb. This movie doesn’t have the gore or violence of the others (you never see the actual attack). Instead it focuses on the emotional story of a family trying to survive and adapt to their new reality. This is a wonderful film about the inhumanity of war and the decency and courage of ordinary people. ( No embedding on the clip and sorry about the audio, this was the best clip I could find).
It is interesting to me that we seem to have all forgotten about the risk of nuclear war. Because we somehow survived the Cold War we have grown complacent. However, it is foolish to think that the risk is gone. We should not let our hubris get the best of us and these movies are a little reminder of that. Sleep tight Crasstalkers, and dream of peace.
Numbers Stations
Numbers stations are short wave radio broadcasts that have unexplained origins and meanings. They are often associated with intelligence and espionage activities and were a staple of Cold War intrigue. Since I made a radio post earlier I thought I would put up some information about a couple of the more interesting numbers stations.
Numbers stations get there name from the encoded messages they would broadcast. Usually a station would have a signon tone, song, or phrase. This was usually followed by a series of numbers, letters, or phrases. The numbers were generally believed to be code that would be deciphered by recipients using a one-time pad to decode the messages. No government has ever admitted to using numbers stations, but the US has accused Cuba of using numbers stations.
The stations have been picked up all over the globe, but they are difficult to track because they broadcast in short bursts. The stations have been around since WWI making them one of the earliest forms of radio communication. While it is assumed most stations are connected with governments there is also speculation that some stations may be connected with drug smuggling or other types of organized crime.
Here are a couple of sound samples from the more famous stations. If you want a more comprehensive list, visit the Conet Project archive where you can hear 150 different stations.
Atencion: A Cuban station that has been involved in US espionage cases:
The Lincolnshire Poacher is a station that is believed to be connected to British intelligence. I broadcasts from Cyprus and has an apparent sister station (called Cherry Ripe) in Australia that broadcasts the same material.
UVB-76: A Russian station nicknamed The Buzzer because it runs a buzzing noise between broadcasts (it also uses snippets of Swan Lake). It was dormant for a number of years, but began broadcasting again earlier this year.
If you have a shortwave radio, you can listen for yourself . It doesn’t take any fancy equipment and you can feel like you are on a secret spy mission behind enemy lines. Certainly more fun than listening to your average drive time DJ.
So I have looked into the logistical issues and I think we are good to go for a CrassTalk podcast. For those of you who missed the original post in Cross Talk, I am going to try and put together a podcast with some of the other CrassTalk authors. Anyone who wants to join in is most welcome and encouraged. If you want to participate please let me know by replying here even if you responded to the other post so we have a central list. To participate you just need to download Skype and have a headphone and microphone combination (SiS, you need this). I have all the equipment to do the mixing and editing, and a friend has kindly agreed to allow us use his really great music. All we need to do is have a Skype conference call and I can just record it through my laptop.
So, what do we want to talk about? We should probably pick a few topics ahead of time so we all know what to expect and can prepare. Post your ideas here and we can decide what might be fun. If it works out I can do these on a semi-regular basis and we will have our own little radio station because if we want to win the internet we will need a strong propaganda unit. Cool.
Here is some inspiration:
So
All right, let’s do this.
This is a live blog of the war between Anonymous and those Anonymous believes have violated the rights of Wikileaks Editor in-Chief Julian Assange.
Continue reading
The Georgia Guidestones
In an isolated spot in Elbert County Georgia stands one the most mysterious monuments in American history. The Georgia Guidestones are are an arrangement of large granite slabs that are arranged in a manner that allow them to be used as an astrological calendar and clock. This would make the structures interesting enough, but the uncertainty about who built the monument and the cryptic messages written upon it make the Guidestones the object of much speculation from the conspiracy theory community. Continue reading
In the event of an actual emergency I will be inevitably be so drunk that I will be useless. I apologize in advance.
Here is the code I used on the image.
