Let’s face it, it’s been bad between us for a long time. I’m a bit long in the tooth now, and I know how you feel about that. I’m no longer snowed by your tales of MPDGs; with you smitten and me wondering how I could eliminate my need for gainful employment just so I could be worthy of your adoration. I cringed through your seemingly endless stream of Blow-‘Em-Up violent fantasies; fantasies that you’re still cranking out despite the fact that these same action stars are in their mid-60s. I was always amused by the suspension of disbelief required to watch downtown Los Angeles transformed into a war zone by a single rogue cop, while you were still opining that a female buddy comedy “wouldn’t be realistic”.
Besides, I have a child now. Not only does this render me to prop status, it’s a cost/benefit thing for me. One outing of seeing any of your theatrically distributed products costs me an additional 45-60 dollars for a babysitter and I’m afraid I’m just not of the socioeconomic class you seem to think is the status quo.
Don’t even me get me started on your treatment of my fellow Others; the Lunatic LGBT (in drama) or the Crazy Queen (in comedy), the Noble Savage, the Hyper-sexualized Latina, the Perpetually Foreign Asian and his girlfriend, the Dragon Lady, and last, but never least, the Magical Negro. After all, you’re the mainstream American film industry! Who could blame you for being so self-obsessed? What sort of monsters are we to demand that you portray us in three dimensions, never mind let someone else be the Storyteller once in a while. After all, if we don’t all die in the story, how would the straight, white male learn anything? Unless, of course, he needs to save us in order to be the hero.
I’ve heard your excuses. We’ve been through this before. I’ve heard your promises to change for years. Your follow-through? Not so hot. We had a good run, you and I. You entertained me through my youth and filled my head with lots of silly nonsense that had no application to the real world. I just think it’s time that I started hearing someone else’s stories. Since I do most of my film and TV viewing through streamed services or VOD these days (see aforementioned babysitter premium), I have a wealth of recently released films from which to choose.
My resolution for this year is to make different viewing choices; the films I’ll be watching will be of stories about women, LGBT persons and/or persons of color. Even home distribution still rewards these filmmakers who, for unknown reasons, did not receive wide distribution or sufficient promotion of their films. Instead, I’ll be promoting their films, by writing reviews of them here and letting others know just how many stories you ignore as “niche market” stuff.
It’s been real, Hollywood. And it’s been fun.
It hasn’t been real fun.
Kisses,
Mean Ol’ Liberal