Welcome back! We’re a little late this week because, while Clarity was hanging out at Hangout Fest, I was wrangling dogs in freezing cold rain on Michigan Avenue. SOME OF US HAVE TO WORK. My boss is a complete nutjob. It was a nice mental break. If it makes you feel any better wearing a bra will be uncomfortable for the next few days because sunburn.
I pulled a hammy at the PetSmart event. Throwing a tennis ball. Up in the air three feet. I need to stretch more.
Anyway, on to the Challenge! In the “Previously on the Challenge” recap, they again show Theresa’s epically stupid double-cross vote for Laurel and Jordan’s obnoxious baiting behavior. Both should figure prominently in this episode.
(Side note: I did not know that Jordan is actually, you know…missing a hand…until after last week’s episode and the ensuing recaps on other reputable websites. Huh. Watch carefully! He totally is.)
Before we get into the action, we get into THE ACTION again at Uruguay’s most inexplicably themed bar, Moby Dick’s! If you’ve been hankering for a hookup montage, you GOT IT. Drunk Johnny Bananas tells Devyn she’s crazy “confident in who [she is] as a person.” I think that’s nice-Bananas for “I think you’re fat and weak.”
On the ride back to the house, Van #1 is full of drunk makeout fun. Van #2 is full of drunk aggro bro-ing as CT CT’s all over Jordan. Later, Jordan smirks his way through a confessional in which he says CT can’t get to him.
Ok, so Jordan is gonna go on CT? He’s gonna have some real problems now.
Now. I have never exactly LIKED Jordan, but I didn’t hate him even when the Challenge editors were really forcing it down my throat. However, the more he talks, the more he smirks, the more he slimes and struts his way through this game, the more I see why everyone but Laurel hates him.
His behavior does not surprise me. He and Ratchet Nia went at it a few times on their season of Real World.
Based on how much I’m missing on the Challenge, I did watch RW: Ex-Plosion so I sort of know what to expect on the next season. SMASHLEY 4EVA. ZOMG! CAN’T WAIT!
This challenge is one I always look forward to: the Trivia Challenge! I like to see what kind of brains these people are working with. It’s an individual game and the first four of each sex to be eliminated will go into the draw. Lest you forget where you are, the questions will be answered SUSPENDED 100 FEET ABOVE WATER. (Drink.) If a contestant answers two incorrectly, they are released to fall into the water.
Finally an individual challenge! For a challenge where no one is supposed to be able to rely on anyone else, there sure have been a lot of team/group/partner challenges.
My theory is that they do team challenges a) for the extra blame-game drama and b) because the draw has to be small (see conspiracy theory below).
Men are first. Now, these questions are not Trivial Pursuit-level questions. Not even pub trivia-level questions. I assume this is because that would be MUCH too hard a game for the brain trust that has decided that falling into water from great heights is an honest way to earn a living.
That said, it is really impressive that Bananas thinks the official language of Australia is…Dutch.
DUTCH? R U FOR REAL?!
TJ says at the beginning that this is also his favorite challenge and he is clearly enjoying every minute of this. Not only do you get to snicker snidely at these morons but you have the power to make them fall? Where do all the viewers of this show sign up for this opportunity?
I love any time we get to see these people be exposed as idiots. I love them all, but really? Preston was not sure that Labor Day was in September. I love how excited TJ is to dump everyone in the water. I must admit that I would be just as giddy.
I would seriously do anything to dump Jessica in a lake.
The four dudes going in the draw are Leroy, Johnny, Jordan (doing a shitty showboat-y back flip off the platform when he doesn’t even GUESS on his wrong answer), and CT. Zach wins and I do believe he is the fucking cutest. CT is hot but in a scary and unstable way. I bet Zach is great at cunnilingus. BECAUSE HE TRIES.
I have not found CT that attractive until now. Why? Is it the beard? I don’t know. He’s even hot in this tweet where he doesn’t have a beard.
#mcm @MTVBananas @TheOfficial_CT pic.twitter.com/5gLn7atxwa
— Jaime (@Jayms13) May 19, 2014
Ladies are up. For some reason, it seems like they have harder questions. Maybe not all of them (“What does your heart pump?”), but at least a couple I didn’t know, either. The women going into the draw are Camila, Aneesa (Asia is not a country, gworl), Jessica, and Nany. Devyn wins, and so does her hair, staying dry. I relate deeply to that bit.
I’m not saying I would know all the answers either, but it seems like they miffed on some pretty simple questions. Also, you know what I didn’t understand here? Camilla crying. Why is she crying? You miss an answer you’re going into the water. Get it together, Camilla!
The spelling ones made me laugh the most. They should have stuck with words consisting of less than seven letters. Leroy, spell disguise. D-I-S…. GUYS. Splash!
Back at the house, Devyn chats with Theresa, assuring her she wouldn’t vote her into elimination. Since she’s promised this to three of the four women not already in the draw, she sits down with Laurel to talk to her about voting her in. Devyn says Laurel pulls a gangster move– and she SOOO does.
Laurel pulls out a pen and paper and proceeds to write Devyn a list, in order, of the people Laurel wants to knock out. She points to it and basically says, “See? You’re really far down. Don’t fuck with that by voting me in, because I ALWAYS COME BACK.” She points out to Devyn that Theresa has no real loyalty to her or to anyone, and that voting Theresa in is not only appropriate given her traitorous nature but strategically the best decision. BALLER AS FUCK.
Convincing Devyn to do the double cross. Not sure how I feel about that since Theresa just did the same thing last week. Too many people making too many promises to other people in this house.
Yeah– I think Devyn’s only in the wrong here for promising too much to Theresa, and possibly for not giving her a heads up that her vote has changed. Still the right strategy, especially given that, if Theresa has a choice on who to vote in, it STILL behooves her to put Lauren in again. Devyn’s too weak to waste a vote on.
So Devyn and Zach decide to send in Swift and Theresa. I think Swift is going home. Not sure about Theresa– and I’m not sure what she thought was gonna happen, either. She looks pissed but she’s paying for her mistakes. Take your medicine, lady.
Yep. Her reasoning for throwing away her vote was such bullshit. Things will be very interesting if she comes back to the house.
The game this episode is “Looper.” Though we’ve seen this elimination before, I notice a key difference. Do you, Clarity? Now they have ropes attached to the post they’re facing to aid in pulling themselves toward the bell. I assume after the 90-minute hell Cara Maria sobbed her way through to beat Nia, they realized they needed to make it a little easier or at least viewer-friendly.
I did notice that! I wrote and then proceeded to scratch out questioning the strategy for this game, but that changes with the addition of the rope for the contestants to grab on to.
This is another spot where I would have liked to hear production’s reasoning on changing it. Was it the difficulty level? Or was it just the fact that the last time they did it everyone was there an extra hour?
Camila flips the kill card to go against Theresa and Jordan draws it to go against Swift. Camila v. Theresa means at least one of the “strong” girls in the house is going home tonight. And, frankly, I don’t think Jordan is going to have any problem beating Swift.
Something I thought was worth mentioning – CT runs up there, flips a card and runs off. In his podcast a few weeks ago, Jacoby brought up the possibility of there being a pattern in the wood grain of the Kill Card. Do you think he’s figured it out if such a thing is true? Am I being too conspiracy theorist for this?
I so went back and re-watched that. You’re right!
I think you are being kooky but not for the reason you think you are. I’d be willing to bet that production is choosing the matches. CT might have been told he wasn’t going in and/or to flip a certain one, which is why he ran back right away. He knew he was safe. Ok, this I can buy.
The men go first. It looks like a short contest, as Jordan gets considerably farther faster than Swift right off the bat and quickly rings the bell to send Swift home.
I accidentally spoilered myself on this bit of information when I came home and the Tivo was also recording the after show in addition to the actual show. Not sure how those two got combined.
Next up, Camila and Theresa. This seems more evenly matched, though Theresa is staying calm (and upright) while Camila is sobbing prone on the sand. Eventually, as Theresa gains more ground, Camila gives up entirely and lets go of the rope. Correct me if I’m wrong, but hasn’t she given up in eliminations before? I don’t really understand why everyone calls her a “great competitor.”
I just cannot with Camilla’s crying. I don’t even understand it. WHAT IS THE DEAL CAMILLA?!
Yeah, between this and the trivia I wonder if there’s something else at play. She’s always been a little weepy but more an angry crier than a resigned or scared crier. Hmmm.
Anyway, Theresa rings the bell and sends Camila packing. Theresa is smirking and proud. “This is my first elimination I’ve ever won.” Well, in that case, sweet pea, I wouldn’t get too cocky going back into a house with proven multiple elimination winners just yet.
This marks the halfway point of the season, and the preview looks KILLER. I see a lot to look forward to:
- Cara Maria fighting with Laurel?
- Nany breaking up with Cohutta and hooking up with Johnny?
- Jordan yelling about Laurel’s ethics
- Devyn and Theresa fighting
- Jordan douching around, leading up to what looks like him dramatically flipping every card in the draw to face Bananas?
- AMBULANCE! (Drink.) With a female sobbing after being told her hand is fractured?
- AND MORE!
Predictions?
I predict that all the action is hiding in the second half of the season. I guess I didn’t realize the Nany/Cohutta thing was for real? I wonder if those two clips with her and the dudes happened in reverse order. Dun dun dun… only time will tell.
I have a bad feeling that the woman who fractured her hand is Laurel. SOUNDS like Laurel or Cara Maria. If Laurel has to leave– that could change everything.
Definitely. See y’all in a few days!
Image via MTV.
