Today seems like a good day to talk about race in America. (Every day is a good day to talk about race in America.) I saw Watermelon Oreos in the checkout line at Target yesterday. They made me feel weird. Is it the idea of the taste? The possible hydrogenated oil-mealy watermelon mouthfeel? Or…
Are Watermelon Oreos racist? I evaluate the evidence below.
Exhibit A: The Taste
Some people are disgusted by the thought of consuming a watermelon-flavored Oreo. Some people also find racism disgusting. The connection is tenuous here.
Exhibit B: Urban Dictionary’s Definition of “Oreo”
For those not familiar with the colloquial use of the term, UrbanDictionary.com defines an “Oreo” as, broadly, a black person who “acts white.”
An example given by an esteemed contributor to Urban Dictionary:
my friend dyson from geometry is called an oreo because he doesn’t sell, talks to white people, respects other people and thinks about his future.
Someone needs to tell Dyson that, while his vacuum cleaners are impressively suctiony, his respectful behavior is an affront to his race. The question here, though, might be better phrased: What came first? The stereotype or the cookie? Again, inconclusive.
Exhibit C: Watermelons as Racist Iconography
Much like fried chicken, watermelons are part of a canon of racist imagery that is supposed to be evocative of the plantation-loving, simple-minded-black-folk stereotype that undergirded ideas of white supremacy. These types of images were everywhere– especially in advertising– in the late nineteenth century and persisted well into the twentieth century.
This is a bit more compelling. Why combine a cookie that’s associated with a well-known stereotype about black people with the one fruit that, arguably, is also often used in racist ways? Has no one in the Nabisco Cookie Concept Department ever taken a US history class or paid attention to, like, popular culture? Ever? Possibly not, I guess. Evidence: somewhat compelling.
Exhibit D: Wassermelone Cat
When I think about watermelons, I think about cats, and then I think about Wassermelone Cat.
When I think about Wassermelone Cat, I think about Kitler. When I think about Kitler, I think about you-know-what.
More than anything, Wassermelone Cat seems to be the missing link that proves that, perhaps, Watermelon Oreos were created with a more sinister intent than just giving Target a way to fill its endcaps with red-stickered clearance items once Nabisco realizes that this was a terrible, terrible idea. Evidence: COMPELLING.
The Verdict: Possible Klan Konspiracy
After reviewing the evidence, I’m inclined to say that watermelon Oreos are probably kinda racist. But you can all decide for yourselves. I just report the facts, kids.
