My husband sent me this lovely Youtube video that spurred much laughter and discussion. It perfectly illustrates the differences between problem-dwellers and problem-solvers.
In our family, I’m the solver and my husband is more of the dweller. Rarely will you hear me say, “It is just so hard….” as I tend to focus more on getting me out of whatever misery I am experiencing. I suspect it has much to do with my kids’ special needs. I didn’t have the “luxury” of dwelling back in the day. In other words, I wasn’t always this way. I had to change out of necessity.
My husband doesn’t dwell like nail-lady does here. Rather he stews and grinds his gears until he is miserable enough to change something, make up his mind or move on. He really isn’t so much of a dweller as he is a ruminator.
It is difficult for problem-solvers and problem-dwellers to communicate at times as they really are speaking separate languages. The problem-solver wants to spring into action without a lot of fee-fee discussion. The dweller needs to focus on feelings and other issues before moving to problem solving. Neither is wrong, they are just different styles.
So what are you — a dweller or solver?
