The queens are all emotionally spent when they enter the workroom after last week’s non-elimination and Roxxxy’s tearful, calculated confession. Roxxxxxxxxxxy admits she had been projecting her issues at Jinkx and apologizes. Well, that’s something, I suppose. Detox is pissed that there was no elimination. Me too, gworl, me too. Alaska is frustrated that she still hasn’t won a challenge. And we’re off. Hit the jump to see my updated Drag Race Index!
Best mini challenge ever! Any excuse to check out guys in their underwear is good enough for me. Thank you, Andrew Christian. After Ivy Winters won the underwear match game mini challenge, the queens were tasked with creating their own fragrances. Some struggled in the workroom and then again while filming their commercials in front of director Michelle Visage and guest twunt Aubrey O’Day. Of course that included some fakeout editing. In the end, Detox found her comedy groove again, and Alaska and Jinkx both nailed it as well. Alaska won the challenge. All the other queens did horribly. Ivy Winters lip synced against Alyssa before sashaying away. I haven’t fully recovered from this loss and will need some time to process the tragedy before I can pick up the pieces and move forward. I’m currently accepting flowers and baked goods to help me through this difficult time. But please, no mylar balloons. They never deflate, and I just don’t have the heart to throw them away. Anywhore, let’s break down this week’s Index one queen at a time, shall we?
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Jinkx Monsoon
Water off a duck’s back. Water off a duck’s back. No need for that tonight, Jinkxyboo. Her perfume concept and commercial were hilarious and just so very Jinkx. Her flapper-ish look on the main stage was something signature we’ve come to expect from her, and yet she refined her techniques enough that she made Michelle Visage very happy for the second week in a row. I see great thing ins Jinkx’s future. I was glad that she stood up for herself when Coco (who has become extremely tiresome and loathsome, but more on that later) flipped her weave during Untucked. Jinkx, I know the negativity gets to you sometimes, but stay strong because you are the one to beat in this competition, and the rest of these bitches know it. The Jinkx/Ivy friendship may just be my favorite thing ever. I know we later found out that Jinkx has a major crush on Ivy, and I don’t know what will come of that, but the idea of these two queens being close — in any way — just warms my heart so much.
Alaska
Finally, Miss Alaska has won a challenge! Her commercial and concept were hilarious. She served them a classic Alaska look for the commercial, and then did something a bit different on the main stage so it was definitely her week to shine. I’m glad she finally got a win under her belt, and I remain confident in her ability to make it to the top three and compete for the crown in the finale.
Detox
Welcome back, Miss Detox. While her main stage look was a total misfire (she tried to reproduce a look she had success with previously and failed), her perfume concept and commercial made up for it in spades. I was reminded that, yes, this bitch can be very fucking funny when she wants to be. With the elimination of Ivy this week, everything feels so up in the air, and it’s hard for me to say who will take the third spot in the top three. But. At this stage of the game? I want it to be Detox over the other bitches. Can she make it happen? We’ll see.
Coco Montrese
Oh, Coco. Bitter Coco. Tiresome Coco. Needs to go home soon Coco. Her commercial was a trainwreck. It was a leopard print-on-print crime against fashion. It was a confused and confusing derivation of RuPaul’s name and Grace Jones’ Strangé character from Boomerang. It was bad and unfunny. She takes the fourth spot in the Index for two reasons: the other queens below her in the Index were actually that much worse than her, and her main stage look was fierce. As Santino said, she was a bit over-accessorized, but the dress was killer.
Alyssa Edwards
Her commercial and concept were turrible. Any time you catch Alyssa laughing at her own jokes, you know there’s going to be a problem, and she thought her “secret” was just the funniest thing! Ugh. Her main stage look was alright, but really, if you want to talk about not getting any variety from a queen, let’s have a talk about Miss Alyssa Edwards then because this bitch looks almost identical week to week. I think it’s nearly time for Miss Alyssa to get back on the turnip truck and go home. I admit that she completely out lip synced Ivy Winters — srsly, it was no contest — and it was so painful to watch.
Roxxxy Andrews
Time to go home, Boxy Mandrews. Her concept and commercial were godawful. When she talked about how excited she was to be doing something more in the wheelhouse of a pageant girl, I was ready to see this bitch shine. No. She started her commercial looking like an Austin Powers librarian and ended it looking like a garbage bag overfilled with potatoes. Her main stage look did her no favors, and I loved Aubrey O’Day’s reaction to it when the judges were deliberating. I’m glad she made her peace with Jinkx, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t think she has what it takes to go all the way in the competition. She is uneven at best in the main challenges, and she does not know how to dress herself. I am all for being proud of your body, and I completely understand that it’s a struggle to lose weight, but you should spend a minute understanding what looks good on you. The thing you want to wear, and the thing that looks good on your body are not always the same thing, and Roxxxy really needs to address that disconnect in the future.
Ivy Winters
Sashay away, sweet Ivy. We lost an extremely talented queen tonight. I think that despite being a performer by nature, Ivy had some shyness and insecurities when it came to performing in unfamiliar circumstances. She is gone much too soon for my taste, and I know many of you were fans as well, but I am happy that at least we were able to see her shine as she did in the singing challenge a couple weeks ago. She has a very bright future ahead of her, and I can’t wait until we get to the reunion show to find out the status of the Jinkx/Ivy freindship/possible relationship.
So what are your thoughts on last night’s episode? Does the loss of Ivy change your expectations going forward? Sound off in the comments, and I’ll see you next week!
