As I mentioned in the comments earlier, my family never really celebrated Father’s Day. Both my parents were pretty committed Lefties and the general consensus was that both Father’s and Mother’s Day were Hallmark holidays created just to sell us all more crap. Nevertheless, every year when Father’s Day rolls around I can’t help thinking of my Dad and wishing I could call him, tell him happy Father’s Day and hear him say, “That’s today? Thanks for nothing, kid.” My Dad died in 2001.
He was my stepfather. My parents married when I was four. But in every important way he was my Dad. Many of my best qualities I can immediately ascribe to him. And for sure some of my worst qualities came straight from him too. Such is true parenting. Thinking about him today, I couldn’t help but dig up the eulogy I gave at his funeral. Though we were all shocked by his too early death and I wrote most of it bleary-eyed on a cross-country flight, there’s a lot of him in here and I’m glad I managed to gather the strength to stand up and read it at his funeral. Since we’re thinking about fathers I thought I’d share it here. I didn’t have mine long enough–he started the job a little late and finished way, way too early–but I’m sure glad today, and every day, that I had him at all. Happy Father’s Day.
We called him Mr. Map. He knew the best route anywhere: to a steak joint in Kansas City that he’d been to once; to a great bar in San Francisco that served a mean Irish coffee; to every house that every family member had ever lived in. So now Mr. Map is gone. But I think we’ll still be able to find our way; he left us some signposts. He’d never say them out loud–he was more the type to make jokes than to make aphorisms–but they’re here for us nevertheless.
- Never buy one flavor of ice cream when you can buy eleven.
- Dogs should not be scolded for sitting on the couch–they should be encouraged.
- Always get a hug and kiss from little kids–then tickle them.
- If you meet people that need a family, give them yours.
- Cheesecake has no fat or calories to speak of.
- Cry at movies–and don’t bother to hide it.
- Spend whatever you have–frankly, spend more than you have. You can’t take it with you.
- Do crossword puzzles in pen–what the hell, tempt fate.
- Go for the big pun, even if you have to strain to the point of hernia to get there.
- Fight til exhaustion over the restaurant bill with your friends
- Never walk into someone’s house empty handed.
- Catch the fish, release the fish, eat the fish–it doesn’t matter: just fish.
- Keep everything you ever purchased, or you were given, or you found. When it breaks, keep it in the basement.
- Let sports excite you, because, blissfully, they don’t really matter.
- Be loyal, to your beliefs and to people.
- Love your dog, because the dogs love like we should: absolutely.
- Drive people home, even if it’s out of your way.
- Buy lottery tickets–you really do never know.
- Laugh big, live big, love big.
- And don’t read the instructions–we’ll figure it out as we go.
Photo Credit: Who knows! My Dad (super cute, right?) in the service during the Korean War
