Riverside County Supervisor Jeff Stone proposes that California be split in two. The new state, which he wants to call “South California,” will comprise of the counties of Orange, San Diego, Fresno, Imperial, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Madera, Mariposa, Mono, Riverside, San Bernardino and Tulare. I live in Kern, so needless to say, I’m pretty interested in how this goes.
Stone has said, “Our taxes are too high, our schools don’t educate our children well enough, unions and other special interests have more clout in the Legislature than the general public.” OBVIOUSLY the only sane solution is to form your own state that consists of counties where nobody wants to live. Because the only thing keeping California down is the massive amounts of tax dollars coming in from Los Angeles and the Bay Area. The Riverside County board of Supervisors voted 4-0 to see where this goes, but with the proviso that no public funds be spent on it. I really hope this is their way of giving this guy a Kong to keep him entertained.
The state will have a part-time legislature, no term-limits (that’s always a good idea), and limits on property taxes. Seeing as how like 50% of the new state is arid desert (not a scientific number), it will also have NO FUCKING WATER. And with limits on taxes, I’m guessing that various big Government welfare state services such as police, fire departments, road maintenance, and schools will also cease to be a huge bother in my everyday life. If this is all we had to do to get rid of that stupid 25mph speed limit around schools, why the fuck didn’t we start sooner?
Also, all of the good University of California campuses will now be out of state. Want to go to UC Berkeley or UCLA? You’re now paying out-of-state tuition. Want to go to UC Riverside? You’re in luck! But not really. UC Riverside sucks. Not to mention, the only real North/South interstate highway in that section of California is I-5 which takes you through Los Angeles County, which will be IN AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STATE. You want to stay in the State of California and go anywhere north of Valencia? You’re taking the parking lot that is the 101. You live in South California, and want to get to the only beach you have in San Diego? You’re getting on the 58, driving east for an hour, then taking the 14 to the 15 (if that’s even how you do it – I don’t drive that way because it’s ridiculous. It’s like driving from New York to Florida and going through Kansas).
Another point sticking in Mr. Stone’s craw is the fact that there’s this border with this whole other country of brown people that we’re not securing with razor wire and snipers and mines and Predator drones. He intends on fully securing that border with a part-time legislature and no money.
Now’s the part where I tell you that Mr. Stone is a pharmacist. I have not been to pharmacy school, but I imagine they have a pretty great political science track there. Because all of this seems amazingly well thought-out, and not some sort of “OHMYGODTAXESANDMEXICANS” Tea Party freakout.
