Emo-4Reading your old LiveJournal posts is way worse than looking at that picture of yourself as a freshman with a bad perm. Your words look into the truth of your little emo heart, that perm was just a bad decision that you’ll grow out of. Collected here are the anonymous journals of your youth brought forth from the depths of LiveJournal and Xanga. Instead of mashing them all together I’m going to string them out over a few posts.

Basically, I hate my boyfriend’s ex/now BFF. I hate that she makes pie-eyes at him whenever they are together, I hate that they make secret little plans for dinner (and gods know how often because they are secret plans), I hate that she has slept with him, I really hate that she likes to remind me of this, I hate that she hugged me at Christmas, I hate that she is a vegetarian, I hate her hair because it looks dirty all the time, I hate that she smokes and encourages others to do so because she is too poor to buy her own cigarettes, I hate that I have to endure stories about how hard it is for her to buy clothes because it is just so impossible to find a size zero. I cannot think of a redeeming quality.

Sure, this all makes me sound like a jealous psycho girlfriend, but so what? There are things that can be done to mitigate my admittedly strong reactions. Like, oh, not making secret plans to spend time at each other’s houses. Oh, and not fucking touching me. And stop telling me about the damn vibrator that he bought you whenever it was that you were fucking. Because I cannot stand to hear that story one more time.

You know what the worst part is? I’ve actually brought all of this crap up. To real people, including the ones concerned, not just the internets. (Ok, not to her, I’d rather hug a live snake) And do you think anything has changed? No. Not one fucking iota.

It seems obvious that many of journal entries are about boyfriends and girlfriends, but this one gets to the heart of the issue of that whore of an ex girlfriend. You were never going to like her but does she have to be such a bitch about the fact that he still hangs around with her?

Sure, a more experienced person would just tell him that what he’s doing isn’t cool and you’d appreciate it if he’d put some distance between the two of them. But the online journals of your youth aren’t the place of people who have the emotional maturity to say something like that out loud to another human being, they’re about blind rage.

Image: Wikimedia Commons