Unless your goal is to spray people in the face with champagne or launch the cork into a friend’s eye, opening up a bottle of bubbly isn’t a dramatic event. Momof3 is here to help you harness your inner savoir faire versus your inner frat boy.

First of all, you need to know that the ‘pop’ of the champagne cork should not be a big pop like you hear in the movies. If you are doing it right, it will sound more like an ‘angel’s sigh.’ Additionally, never, ever use a corkscrew on a champagne bottle. You could seriously hurt yourself.

Every decent bottle of Champagne or sparkling comes with foil wrapped around the outside of the cage.  To remove it, tilt bottle away from your face (and not toward anyone else) and peel off foil.  Fun fact: in days of yore, the foil was lined in lead to keep mice away.
From this point, it is imperative that you keep the bottle tipped away from you and others.  Keep your thumb on the top of the cork, just in case the cork has loosened over time. Like a man who is a bit ‘too quick’, this thing could blow before you are ready.
Twist the wire tab on the cage and remove cage.  Again, be sure to place your thumb on top of the cork.  It is best to place a towel on top of the cork from this point on.  Be sure it is a clean one.  Pictures don’t reflect the towel so you can see what is what.
Hold the cork with your non-dominant hand over the towel and the other at the base of the bottle.  This is the key step:  turn the bottle not the cork.  The cork needs to ease off, not pop off.  It should sound more like a ‘whoopf’ then a pop.Pour and enjoy in a proper champagne flute.

Sound too boring for your evening? Well another acceptable method is Sabrage — where you open the bottle with a saber. This is not for amateurs, but for men of distinction and taste. Hopefully I am embedding this video properly, because I found this very amusing. The womyn at groupthink would probably have a Freudian field day with this.