Are you in the mood for some bike prOn? Here are the 20 all time sexiest motorcycles, as decided by me. I have impeccable taste and I’ve never wadded a bike, so I feel I’m qualified to make the ruling. Let’s go look at fast, dangerous, pretty things.
20. BMW R90S
The R90S was made from 1973 to 1976 and is best known for its gorgeous sunburst paint job and cool fiberglass fairing (the plasticy bodywork on the front) that was way ahead of its time in the early and mid-70s.
19. Suzuki GSX-R750
When the first GSXR came out in 1985, Suzuki basically started a whole new era of worldwide sportbike domination. There’s so much I love about the original Gixxer: The flowing lines of the bodywork, the twin headlights, racing style windshield and the cool blue and white paint scheme. This is the bike that every highway patrol officer spent the 1980s chasing.
18. Ducati Monster
Back in the early 90s, Ducati was nearly bankrupt and had seen its reputation fall over the years with quite a few lackluster bikes in the 80s. Then Miguel Angel Galluzzi came up with Il Mostro and the rest is history. There’s something wonderfully simple about the air-cooled twin desmo engine, round headlight and trellis frame.
17. Ducati Sport 1000
Here’s another Ducati, but this one is a different beast entirely. The Sport 1000 was designed by the highly controversial (ok, widely reviled among Ducatisti) Pierre Terblanche. Terblanche, a South African, has come up with some wacky designs over the years but the Sport 1000 is just plain beautiful. Basically it came out in 2006 as an homage to the nasty shit-kicking Ducatis of the 70s and features wire wheels, a round headlight, slick double-barreled exhausts and that gorgeous racing stripe down the middle.
16. BSA Gold Star
BSA is an old Brit company whose initials stand for Birmingham Small Arms, which is basically the coolest motorcycle name ever. For much of the 50s and 60s BSA was the world’s largest motorcycle manufacturer. The Gold Star was made from 1938 to 1963, which is simply incredible. Dig the chrome gas tank! Supposedly you can find old BSAs in India that are still running, Havana-style.
15. BMW R1100S Boxer Cup Replika
About five years ago BMW released a special “Boxer Cup” version of its R1100S. In addition to tons of go-fast parts in the boxer twin engine, the bike came from the Munich factory with a really cool modernist BMW racing livery. Yeah, the Boxer Cup won’t be able to keep up with the insane speed of the modern Japanese sportbikes, but this Bavarian fraulein is dressed up for a fancy night out. Occasionally these things will pop up on eBay, but they don’t last long.
14. Harley-Davidson XR-750
The XR-750 was cool enough for Evel Knievel. What more do you really friggin need?
13. Aprilia RSV1000R
Here’s another Italian superbike that looks like it’s begging to be ridden at Arrest Me Now speeds.
12. Bimota Tesi 3D
Bimota is a tiny Italian (what else?) boutique brand of high end racing-oriented sportbikes. These the the kind of machines that turn every head at bike night. Throughout their history, they’ve typically used engines from other manufacturers (particular Honda and Ducati) and then fit them into some of the most innovative chassis ever made. The Tesi has an incredible center-hub steering instead of a conventional fork, which gives it a Michael Bay-Transformers robot look.
11. Kawasaki Mach III
The original widowmaker. If you lived during the majestic time known as the 1970s, you wanted this badass two stroke-powered fire-breathing machine of death. Basically this thing was insanely fast for its time, probably too fast, as even Wikipedia describes it as pretty much a death trap: “The H1 offered a high power to weight ratio for the time, but had generally poor handling and weak drum brakes front and rear. It was the quickest production motorcycle at the time.” I want one.
10. KTM RC8
KTM is an Austrian brand best known for making dirt bikes. Their motto is “Ready to Race” and the RC8’s stealth bomber-esque look has to be one of the most forward-looking designs of all time. You should see the front.
9. Vincent Black Shadow
Here’s a cool British bike from 1949 that was the fastest bike in the world in its time. I love that sweet v-twin engine and cool exhaust header pipes. Oh, and that name. These things are seriously collectible today, so if you want one, prepare to out-bid Jay Leno and Billy Joel to get it.
8. Britten V1000
Not only is the V1000 maybe the most unique looking moto ever built, but it also has an incredible story. In the early 90s, a mad Kiwi named John Britten got a bunch of friends together to build the world’s fastest racing motorcycle in his backyard in Christchurch. Seriously. This is what they came up (only 10 were ever made). The V1000 raced against the best Japanese and Italian superbikes of the 90s… and won. Much of its bodywork is made of carbon fiber. I particularly like the twisting blue exhaust headers that look like intestines. Britten died in 1995 at the age of only 45. Hollywood really needs to make a movie about him.
7. Yamaha YZR500
This Yammie was a highly successful 500cc two-stroke grand prix racer of the 70s (ridden by the racing god Eddie Lawson). Look at the way the front fairing swoops upward toward the nose of the bike, then straight back into that gorgeous rounded windscreen. If I owned this bike, I would honestly keep it in my living room like a sculpture. A fast sculpture.
6. Norton Commando
This is the ultimate in Brit cool. The Norton Commando is just one of those machines that has transcendental, block-rocking style. I’ve seen these in the flesh and when someone rides by on a 750 Commando, every single head turns. I hope that unfunny fuck Leno isn’t reading this and trying to buy them all up as we speak.
5. Honda RC30
Did you really think I wasn’t going to put a Honda on this list? The Japanese contribution to motorcycles cannot be overstated and Soichiro Honda’s little motorbike company is probably the single most important piece of the Nippon moto industry. The RC30 was an early 90s sportbike that was sold in dealerships in order allow the bike to compete in the World Superbike races. They call this a homologation special, since the model is basically a race bike with a license plate holder. I would stab a hobo for one of these in the garage.
4. MV Agusta F4
The F4 was designed by Italian genius Massimo Tamburini. It’s officially impossible not to be a globe-trotting playboy (or playgirl) while riding this thing. It’s known for being one of the only factory bikes that doesn’t have the motorcycle industry’s voluntary 200 mph speed limiter. So basically you will die, but at least you’ll look incredibly sexy doing it.
3. Ducati 916
About 10 years before Tamburini designed the MV Agusta F4, he was working at Ducati where he came up with the perfect superbike: the 916. The front looks like a hammerhead shark and tail looks like it just came off the assembly line yesterday. Not bad for a 17-year-old model. This one is utterly beloved by Ducati fanatics worldwide and is destined to join the pantheon of all-time great collector bikes.
2. Velocette Thruxton
Despite the suspicious name, Velocette was actually a legendary British moto company, not French. (So you can relax now.) Velocette was known in the 50s and 60s as one of the innovators. They pushed the envelope and developed new technolgy. Their bikes were known for their high performance. And oh yeah, they’re also gorgeous. Check out the shape of that gas tank and that smooth exhaust pipe with the flared tip. This is the archetype of what a motorcycle should look like. Simple, yet elegant. And no plastic cladding to cover up its naughty bits.
1. Moto Guzzi MGS-01 Corsa
Moto Guzzi is another slightly eccentric Italian brand. They’re known for making heavy, and somewhat slow, street bikes that are popular with the Italian police. They use a twin-cylinder engine that is surprisingly similar to Harley-Davidson’s lump, except it’s rotated transversely so that the cylinders stick out either side. Like I said, eccentric. Well in 2003 the company decided it get back into racing and it came up with the MGS-01. The bike was only ever built in tiny numbers for track racers and a street-legal version of the ride never materialized. Seriously, Moto Guzzi, what were you guys thinking? There is no way that a roadgoing version of the MGS would not sell. I love the way the front fairing, gas tank, seat and tail section all seem to flow so effortlessly above that huge blacked-out engine. And check out how the exhaust header pips come out the front of the cylinder heads, snake down under the body of the bike and then shoot back up the underside of the tail. That is art.
And oh yeah, the Guzzi doesn’t sound too bad either…
