I’ve watched this video three times and it got funnier with each play.
It’s not an earthquake until you’ve seen your mother jump out of bed naked and shrieking while you sit in your waterbed deeply confused.
President Obama was golfing when the earthquake hit, clearly proving that he is in league with anarcho-Muslim tectonic plates. Also, he clearly hates George Washington.
PETA is getting into porn. Like, actual porny stuff. Not just pictures. On a website. That will also include “graphic pictures” of little animals. Whether this means surprise bestiality or animal abuse footage I’m not quite sure. But I can guess.
Bank of America began foreclosing on an elderly couple for making their payment a week early. And then backed off, because even they realized that was clearly a dick move.
CONGRATULATIONS BISEXUAL MEN! YOU EXIST!
A pretty awesome Canadian 12-year-old with the pretty awesome name of Gaelen helped deliver his new little brother with knowledge acquired from viewing “a bunch of medical shows.”
Bunny-sized rats terrorize NYC.
(Not really.)
(Well, according to two dudes.)
Paul McCartney signed with Decca Records, which had previously said that the Beatles had “no future in show business.” Whoops.
Customers at a Beijing restaurant are now asking for the “Biden set,” the list of items ordered by Vice President Biden during his visit. The man has power.
