Eulogy for a Friend

It was a year ago I met Steve. We had just gotten our house and were moving a few things over when he came calling. Quick as a hare, he always seemed to have places to go. I made him my squire immediately though he was more than that. My backyard was his kingdom and he was to be a loyal and brave companion for a year. Steve was a snake you see. Sir Stephen Esquire, Snake of the Highgarden.

Weekly Steve and I would meet, though only briefly, for Steve was always dashing off to eat a cricket or some other bug. Performing his chivalrous duty of protecting my garden from pests, Steve was a friend brave and true. While I slogged through maintaining his massive kingdom brave Stephen would joust with the great rumbling gas dragon, always coming out one step ahead of the beast. Facing down the fearsome foe with nothing more than fang and scale, Stephen had the heart of a lion.

This week was like all other weeks, but Stephen chose to face his nemesis in the middle of the yard instead of near the edges where he maintained an advantage. Perhaps he grew bored and felt he needed to up the challenge. It was late, later than normal so he may have thought I would not be bringing the dragon to face him and perhaps he was napping in the sun as snakes are wont to do. Whatever the case, he was not quite quick enough and the dragon took a large bite out of him and sent Steve off to the zucchini, defeated but not dead.

I will say that in the end Sir Steve did not go out whining and crying as braver men than he have. He lay under the shade of a massive plant and looked genuinely angry, his tongue flicking out with annoyance. I saw him and knew his wound was mortal and knew that his pain must be great. I did one of the last things I would ever do for my friend and gave him a good death, a brave death. I could not stand to see him suffer so. I knighted him posthumously and buried in him a place of honor by the strawberries. I think he would have liked that.

Goodbye Sir Stephen, Lord of the Highgarden. You will be dearly missed.

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