Hey America! Stop Making Doughnut Sandwiches!

Does this really need to be said?

Well, yes, apparently this truly needs to be said. When did it become a thing where we take sugary, glazed pastry add meat and cheese to it, or stuffed inside it, or hell, just fire-bombed into your arteries from a doughnut cannon? Why would this ever need to be consumed? Well, because America is hell-bent on destroying itself one bursting corpuscle at a time. Continue reading →

Booze Review: Espolón Tequila Reposado

tequilaTo say I feel strongly about Tequila is an understatement. What does Tequila mean to me? Special occasions. It means sipping a very expensive Don Julio, Reposado of course, listening to great tunes, eating local guac and ceviche on vacation. Expensive and rare.

I’ll admit something to you all. I’m a “Woo-Hoo” girl. And cheap Tequila makes me “Woo-Hoo.” It also “makes my clothes come off.” In fact, Baltimore has seen more than one of my raggedy, so called cute bras on many dumb occasions. Stop it, don’t judge, you’ve done it…right? And good lord did I need to stop hugging all the new best friends I met while enjoying the dirtiest nectar of all the gods. Continue reading →

Why You Should Try Bikram Yoga

If you perform the most rudimentary of internet searches, you can find out what a Bikram yoga class entails. It’s a 90 minute class of 26 poses, worked through in a group, as close to in unison as possible (this never happens in a normal class), in a room heated to a humid 105 degrees.

Sounds daunting. Continue reading →

My Celebrity Crushes Get Me Through the Day

Archer_2010_IntertitleDo you get celebrity crushes? I do. I love my celebrity crush for anywhere from one to six months and we have the steamiest, sometimes romantic interactions… in my mind. Then one day, they either wear an ugly shirt, tweet something stupid or I just grow bored with them and break up with them. Very dramatically of course… in my mind. Continue reading →

How To Have an Internet Girlfriend

Cyber_picRecently I’ve noticed a surge of interest in the question of how to acquire and maintain a so-called “internet girlfriend.” Since I’ve gained some expertise in this matter — mostly by accident — I decided to write down a few lessons I’ve learned as a kind of public service. No need for thanks; I’m just paying it forward.
Continue reading →