CaptainSnarky

52 posts
CaptainSnarky is just your run of the mill African American gay nerd. He is not only postmodern, postracial and postgay, he's also post PC--that's Personal Computer, not Politically Correct, even though he's post that too.

Project Runway All-Stars Season 2 Episode 5 Liveblog

“Ohhhh, my Goddddddd!”

It’s Thursday and you know what that means! Yes, my dears, it’s time for another installment of Dancing with the Has-Been Sewtestants! Well, we’re not really watching them dance so much as we’re watching them slice and dice fabric and creating horrendous “looks” the likes of which you wouldn’t be caught dead in. Last week, Hardly Heidi and the judging crew sent Andrae packing back to Red Lobster, where he can sit and eat those deadly cheddar biscuits, all the while waiting for Tim Gunn to arrive. Continue reading →

Liveblog: Lifetime’s “Liz & Dick” Mega Awesome Trainwreck

Five of the most frightening words in the English language

Gather ’round everybody! Lifetime is about to give us a very early Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice present in the form of a television biopic of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. But no, this is not just any old television biopic. No, Lifetime, in their infinite wisdom, decided to cast Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor. Lindsay Lohan. As Elizabeth Taylor.

Continue reading →

Project Runway All-Stars Season 2 Episode 4 Liveblog

Suede is out! Suede can stop referring to himself in the third person.

Y’all, last week’s “wearable art” challenge saw an enormous amount of FUG stroll down the runway. Except for Emilio’s look. His was gor. ge. OUS. Just gorgeous.

So far, I have one tiny complaint and it’s name is Joanna Coles. She just isn’t Tim Gunn. Tim will come into the workroom and offer the designers constructive criticism and will tell them when, where, and how they’ve gone off the rails into fugtasticness. Joanna, on the other hand, looks at whatever’s on the form and says a couple of really bland, general affirmations or disapprobations. I’d really like for her to be more critical–not in a mean way, but in a way that shows she’s actually interested in what the designers are putting out.

Ok, enough about that. Tonight is all about the snark! Join us in the comments and let’s rip the fashions! Continue reading →

Top Chef Seattle Episode 2 Liveblog

Good lord, was last week’s episode boring, or what? And is the douchestache a thing now? Seriously; who told these guys that handlebar mustaches are anything other than a sign to everyone that you’re a ginormous, pretentious douche? See, that episode was so boring, all I remember were the douchestaches. And the maybe possibly lesbian couple that had to let us know that they weren’t lesbians, they just lived in the same building and did everything together. Continue reading →

Saturday Night Live Liveblog

Hi, there! It’s Saturday night, and instead of being out and about and being debauched, you’re at home watching Saturday Night Live and hoping against hope that it will be funny again. Actually, last week’s installment with Louis C.K. was pretty funny. However, this week the host is Anne Hathaway. And the “musical” guest is Rihanna, who is not fit to carry Beyoncé’s weave. And since the election is over (thank the lords of Kobol!), the cold open is likely to be the last moderately interesting skit of the year. So, if you’re home and watching SNL, join us in the comments and let’s be funnier than the show! Continue reading →

Project Runway All-Stars Season 2 Episode 3 Liveblog

Hi! This is your friendly liveblogger CaptainSnarky here with your weekly Project Runway All-Stars liveblog! Last week, the fashions sent down the runway were, well, asstastic. I mean, wow.

I have no idea what’s going on with these “designers.” It’s almost getting embarrassing to watch these sewtestants send crappy look after crappy look down the runway and garner faint praise from the judges. At any rate, their crapitude is our entertainment, so join us in the comments as we try to make sense of the damnation that walks the runway! Continue reading →

Project Runway All-Stars Season 2 Episode 2 Liveblog

Oh, Peach, we hardly knew you again.

I mean, come on. Who among you was surprised when Peach got the old heave-ho last week? I certainly wasn’t, for she is certainly the least crazy of this particular assemblage of “all-stars.”

Ok, so here we go with the second episode of this season of “All-Stars.” And who is this host? Carolyn Murphy isn’t even Heidi-lite. She’s more like HeidiHardly. Or HardlyHeidi. This woman is definitely not going to have a line of crappy baby wear. Well, thank Heidi it’s Thursday, because it’s time to pull up a chair, pour a BIG glass and snark with us! Join us as we rip the “fashions” and the sewtestants!

Photo from RealityWanted.com. Continue reading →

Project Runway All-Stars Season 2 Episode 1 Liveblog

Did you miss us, darlings?

Right on the heels of a rather tepid season of Project Runway comes Project Runway: No Tim, Heidi, or Nina! Actually, it’s Project Runway: All-Stars…or the people who were comedy/drama magnets during their season. Either way, Lifetime hopes that you’ll find this batch of sewtestants intriguing enough to endure Yoplait and Activiaaaaaaaaa! commercials and promos for the next White Woman In Danger movie starring Rob Lowe. Continue reading →