Pop Culture

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“Thurston, what do you wear to a rescue?”

Lovey Howell spoke these words on Gilligan’s Island, when it seemed that a ship might pass their uncharted desert isle. Ginger immediately leapt to her feet and took Lovey by the arm – “Oh, I’ll help you.”  The next scene shows Lovey in a nautical ensemble, complete with a jaunty hat.

I remember this because it’s precisely the question I would ask.  I don’t always know what I’m doing, but I know how to find out.  Remember, I’m the guy who brought brie, french bread and shrimp cocktail to a cop-and-marine-filled paintball match, was scoffed at, and proceeded to shoot the crap out of everyone.  I will never forget looking John – a Nassau County Corrections Officer with a psychotic gun collection – in the eye, aiming at my friend Chris, and hissing “I’m gonna off that motherfucker.”  He looked at me like he was scared, and he’s 6’6″ and diesel as hell.  I held up some corrugated plastic as a shield, crawled through the scrub brush, and blew my beloved Chris away with a paintball at point-blank range.

The paint was purple.  Not a coincidence.

So work sucks, and it’s time to go.  My colleagues are nice except for the CFO, who is an undermining asshole.   I didn’t know that the SEC was in to do an examination until the day after I agreed to take the job.  The CFO makes a mint while I and my assistant are at the very bottom end of the pay scale.  It’s a 3-person job and there are two of us.  My bonus was inappropriate.  Everyone’s was, including the CFO’s, but his was in the wrong direction.

And ultimately, I blame the CEO – a man I like and respect who has given his trust to the CFO, whom I don’t.  No one does.  If the man Googled himself, he would be appalled.

An international bank wants to see me on Friday – they have a huge real estate trust and a private wealth management division where Compliance work is needed.  I must haircut, manicure, buy new shoes, buy a new belt, pick up my fancy suit pants from the cleaners, and find a way to turn Casual Friday into Froufrou Fund Friday.

I’m a bit unprepared – I can’t find the people I’m meeting anywhere online.  But I will.

I am very sorry that I will be incommunicado tomorrow, but personal business calls me out of state and I can’t be back here before late tomorrow night.  Peace, all.

I might know what to wear to this rescue.  But the fact is… I want to write for a living.  There’s half a novel in the can.  Well, the Ralph Lauren shirt box.

Out with the old, and… In with the old!

Yes folks, some of us have decided to bring back one of the most consistently entertaining aspects of The Place Which Shall not Be Named – Live Blogs!

Our first victim?  Syfy’s own Face-Off.

It airs Tuesdays at 10 PM. If you’re not familiar, Face-Off is a reality competition show for special-effects make-up artists. It has the same format as every other cable channel TV show I’ve ever seen, as in there’s a mini-challenge at the beginning of the episode, then the contestants have a themed challenge that they have x-number of hours to complete, rinse, repeat.

The thing is, the challenges are pretty damn cool and the judges actually have a clue.  We get to hear the words of wisdom from industry pros such as Ve Neill, of Pirates of the Carribbean and Edward Scissorhands fame, and winner of three of those Academy Award thingies, which is cool, I guess.  Also, Glenn Hetrick of Heroes, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the FREAKING X-FILES people, and Patrick Tatopoulos, who had a hand  in Underworld, Independence Day, and Resident Evil: Extinction.

Those Independence Day aliens were wicked cool, y’all. Especially the one that got punched in the face by Will Smith. Ok, so the face punching was the cool part, but still.

Tonight’s challenge apparently involves “Friday the 13th” director Sean Cunningham and the creation of horror movie villains. Sounds interesting. And gory. Mmmmm…. gore….

So, Syfy (Still hate that name) at 10 PM. Hope to see you there!

New Radiohead Is Go. “King of Limbs” Due This Saturday, Vinyl Edition in May

As they did with In Rainbows, prog-pop paranoiacs Radiohead just announced a new album with no lead-up, countdown or fanfare. The King of Limbs is their eighth album. The details of the release are listed below. I’m curious to see how their sound will have changed (if at all) after the Ink Spots-inspired, heavily orchestrated In Rainbows, and needless to say I pre-ordered the vinyl edition, because of course I would.

The cryptic “perhaps” aside might mean nothing, or maybe it means we’ll get something before Saturday. Either way, this is pretty exciting news!

Radiohead’s new record, The King Of Limbs, is presented here as the world’s first* Newspaper Album, comprising:

  • Two clear 10″ vinyl records in a purpose-built record sleeve.
  • A compact disc.
  • Many large sheets of artwork, 625 tiny pieces of artwork and a full-colour piece of oxo-degradeable plastic to hold it all together.
  • The Newspaper Album comes with a digital download that is compatible with all good digital media players.
  • The Newspaper Album will be shipped on Monday 9th May 2011 you can, however, enjoy the download on Saturday 19th February 2011.
  • Shipping is included in the prices shown.
  • One lucky owner of the digital version of The King Of Limbs, purchased from this website, will receive a signed 2 track 12″ vinyl.

*perhaps

Newspaper Album + MP3 PRICE $48.00
Newspaper Album + WAV PRICE $53.00

Radiohead’s new record, The King Of Limbs, is presented here with a choice of two digital formats:

  • MP3 version is a 320K constant bit rate file.
  • WAV version is a full CD quality uncompressed digital audio file.
  • One lucky owner of the digital version of The King Of Limbs, purchased from this website, will receive a signed 2 track 12″ vinyl.

The King of Limbs can be pre-ordered now and downloaded on Saturday 19th February 2011.

MP3 PRICE $9.00
WAV PRICE $14.00

Who Will Star in the Crasstalk Movie?

Maybe this is being considered in other threads by other people, but is there any thought of holding an organizational meeting for all the crasstalk stakeholders? Like now, before it gets too big and too out of control? Let’s just maybe meet each other and really do some work on what each of is willing to bring to the table, which of us is good at x, y or z. Oh, and just as importantly, who among us knows the people who can get the word out and get a bright light shined on this little space? And then of course, there’s money and owenership and copyright and first use and and all of that legalsese mumbo jumbo that would be much better discussed now and have agreements in place and responsibilities delineated and compensation spelled out. What????
Yeah, well ya never know, this funky joint could be a real comer one day I’m just saying it seems like it is going great and has had a wonderful first week. But we are all potential right now. We are not where we could be if we don’t mess this up. And to me that requires a few givens: a number of great writers to pump out the content. Space and love and respect for thCommenteriat Community that uses the posts as the bricks and mortars of the permanant site community. So–quality writers and quality commenters.
Maybe this is being considered in other threads, but is there any thought of holding an organizational meeting for all the crasstalk stakeholders? Like now, before it gets too big and too out of control? Let’s just maybe meet each other and really do some work on what each of is willing to bring to the table, which of us is good at x, y or z. Oh, and just as importantly, who among us knows the people who can get the word out and get a bright light shined on this little space? And then of course, there’s money and owenership and copyright and first use and and all of that legalsese mumbo jumbo that would be much better discussed now and have agreements in place and responsibilities delineated and compensation spelled out. What???? Money? We’d get paid for writing this? Yeah, well ya never know. This funky little joint this way-way-way off-Broadway bash could be real big time one day. I’m just saying it seems like it is going great and has had a wonderful first week. But we are all potential right now. We are not where we could be if we don’t mess this up. And to me that requires a few givens: a number of great writers to pump out the content. Space and love and respect for the
Commenteriat Community that uses the posts as the bricks and mortars of the permanant site community. So–quality writers and quality commenters.
Beyond that, we need a couple marketing types, a business manager, an administrator or two, and a comuter tech guy or two. And some cheap space, unless everyone works remote. In the end that’s not a lot of seed money crasstalk would need to get going. The biggest expense might be advertising, and so much of that would come free because of the “war” with the Nick Denton gang over at Gawker. Media would eat up a story like that. Pageviews would come and ad rates would follow—but only if we are crystal clear on quality of the writing and the protection and support of the Commenteriat, who would be the true essence of a site like this. They are its breath, they are its air. A site goes mad and decays without its most loyal followers. the Commenteriat.
But, yes, shouldn’t someone write all this down? Don’t we need a business plan, a constitution, a way forward

Maybe this is being considered in other threads by other people, but is there any thought of holding an organizational meeting for all the crasstalk stakeholders? Like now, before it gets too big and too out of control? Let’s just maybe meet each other and really do some work on what each of is willing to bring to the table, which of us is good at x, y or z. Oh, and just as importantly, who among us knows the people who can get the word out and get a bright light shined on this little space? And then of course, there’s money and owenership and copyright and first use and and all of that legalsese mumbo jumbo that would be much better discussed now and have agreements in place and responsibilities delineated and compensation spelled out. What????

Yeah, well ya never know, this funky joint could be a real comer one day I’m just saying it seems like it is going great and has had a wonderful first week. But we are all potential right now. We are not where we could be if we don’t mess this up. And to me that requires a few givens: a number of great writers to pump out the content. Space and love and respect for thCommenteriat Community that uses the posts as the bricks and mortars of the permanant site community. So–quality writers and quality commenters.

Maybe this is being considered in other threads, but is there any thought of holding an organizational meeting for all the crasstalk stakeholders? Like now, before it gets too big and too out of control? Let’s just maybe meet each other and really do some work on what each of is willing to bring to the table, which of us is good at x, y or z. Oh, and just as importantly, who among us knows the people who can get the word out and get a bright light shined on this little space? And then of course, there’s money and owenership and copyright and first use and and all of that legalsese mumbo jumbo that would be much better discussed now and have agreements in place and responsibilities delineated and compensation spelled out. What???? Money? We’d get paid for writing this? Yeah, well ya never know. This funky little joint this way-way-way off-Broadway bash could be real big time one day. I’m just saying it seems like it is going great and has had a wonderful first week. But we are all potential right now. We are not where we could be if we don’t mess this up. And to me that requires a few givens: a number of great writers to pump out the content. Space and love and respect for the
Commenteriat Community that uses the posts as the bricks and mortars of the permanant site community. So–quality writers and quality commenters.

Beyond that, we need a couple marketing types, a business manager, an administrator or two, and a comuter tech guy or two. And some cheap space, unless everyone works remote. In the end that’s not a lot of seed money crasstalk would need to get going. The biggest expense might be advertising, and so much of that would come free because of the “war” with the Nick Denton gang over at Gawker. Media would eat up a story like that. Pageviews would come and ad rates would follow—but only if we are crystal clear on quality of the writing and the protection and support of the Commenteriat, who would be the true essence of a site like this. They are its breath, they are its air. A site goes mad and decays without its most loyal followers. the Commenteriat.

But, yes, shouldn’t someone write all this down? Don’t we need a business plan, a constitution, a way forward?

This is what I’m thinking, anyway? What do you all think?

Ode to the Savior of Misbehavior

Many, many years ago, when I was a young, impressionable girl, I fell into a ditch where I was ravaged by the music of the Afghan Whigs.

*ahem*

It only seems appropriate to start off a post/appreciation of Greg Dulli with a bit of drama.

The Whigs (fuck that other band who are attempting to use that name) were on Subpop with other late 80s/90s grunge mainstays, but they clearly were not cut from the same cloth. The band was heavily influenced by old soul and R&B records as much as The Replacements and Hüsker Dü. Plain and simple, these guys had swagger to spare.

The band’s live shows were epic. I was fortunate to see the band in all their live glory where they took performing a cover song to a new level. Lead singer Greg Dulli was part-master of ceremonies, part-preacher with a lot of sin in his past.

“Gentlemen” by the Afghan Whigs

Following the split of the Afghan Whigs back in February, 2001, Dulli’s Twilight Singers project emerged, featuring a variety of musicians, including Mark Lanegan, Joseph Arthur, Petra Haden, and Ani DiFranco, over the years. Their newest release, Dynamite Steps, is dark, sweeping, and feels like a soundtrack to a film yet to be made.  In short, it’s absolutely beautiful. I highly recommend picking up the album on February 15.

“On the Corner” by the Twilight Singers

You’d think one band would keep Dulli busy considering he also owns a few bars in L.A. and New Orleans. Oh no. Dulli’s vocals can be heard all over the place from DJ Muggs to Lo Fidelity Allstars.

Then there’s the Gutter Twins, a group in which Dulli shares vocals with the amazing Mark Lanegan (Screaming Trees, collaborator with Isobel Campbell as well as his own solo career). Saturnalia, the Twins’ debut album, feels like you’re in a broken handbasket on the way to Hell. Even if you don’t drink, you may pick up a whiskey habit after listening to the album.

“All Misery/Flowers” by the Gutter Twins

Oh, and since it’s Friday, I’ll end this appreciation with a rumpshaker and possibly a song that I may or may not have used in a poledance routine.

“Southside Lowdown” by Lo Fidelity AllStars featuring Greg Dulli.

Crasstalk Ambient Mix Numero Uno

trippy earth

Hey guys! So I’ve climbed aboard this rusty, noble vessel of a blog as we sail into uncharted waters. It’s been a hectic week, so we could all probably use an audio chill pill, right?

Accordingly, I made a lil’ playlist that just scrapes the surface of the vast, soothing, tropical, haunted world of ambient, electronic, and “h-pop” (hypnagogic pop) music. All sorts of moods, seasons, and eras are used as inspiration, but they all share a submerged, Dad’s-old-VHS quality. The magic of these songs lies not so much in their ability to recapture a specific moment in time (i.e. mom’s old workout tapes, early software infomercials, TV theme song intro music) but rather in the ways they evoke our spiritual nostalgia of the half-remembered past–and the ones who do it best make music that’s never boring and clear of schlock (unless they’re incorporating kitsch into their overall sound, but I’d like to think it’s done artfully). In fact, unless you’re predisposed to disliking this sort of abstraction, I’d say it’s pretty damn beautiful.

Anyway, here’s where you download. Some of these tracks are weirder than others. Playlist below, if you’re curious ahead of time.

  1. Dylan Ettinger – “The Waterfront”
  2. Kohwi – “Tides”
  3. Ducktails – “Roses”
  4. Outer Limits Recordings – “Plastik Child”
  5. James Ferraro – “Killer Nerd”
  6. Skyramps – “Flight Simulator”
  7. Skyramps – “Dripping Water Hollows Out a Stone”
  8. Emeralds – “Science Center”
  9. Monster Rally – “Cuban Velvet”
  10. Oneohtrix Point Never – “Returnal”
  11. Rangers – “Woodland Hills”
  12. Matrix Metals – “Flamingo Breeze”
  13. Stellar OM Source – “Fantazia”
  14. Stellar OM Source – “Dynamic of Here”
  15. Stellar OM Source – “Rites of Fusion (feat. Oneohtrix Point Never)

It’s not like I’m am “ambient music expert” or anything–there’s just so much out there that few people have heard. So go on, give it a whirl. Who knows, maybe there’s a musical secret waiting to be discovered by you in this playlist! I’ll make more if there’s any interest, and please please please make recommendations if you have. Sharing is caring, etc.

ETA: If you want a preview of general aesthetic at work here:

JAMES FERRARO – LAST AMERICAN HERO, Pt. 3 from OLDE ENGLISH SPELLING BEE on Vimeo.

French Wench off the Bench?

Sorry kidderoos.  I know you’ve been begging us to stop talking about her, but it looks like the world’s most literal famewhore is, once again, making it impossible for us to ignore her.

A true “brags to bitches” story – whether she is  getting in fights with her co-stars, sleeping in a coffin, or loosening her corset for every wealthy or influential man around, she does seem to find a way to stay in the news.   Although we have to give her some credit on this last point.  She doesn’t just “socialize” with the independently wealthy, she’s been known to “move the brush” for a hipster painter or two and serve as a muse for those that are particularly handy with a “pen”.  (Things aren’t so Misérables anymore are they?!)

But pretty (and flexible) finally seems to have paid off, slightly less literally, for her.  A new strategy!  Sleeping with the theatrical purse strings! Which has finally earned her a starring role.

That’s right boys and girls.  The  child of the slums, the thief’s daughter that has stolen our eyeballs (we wouldn’t keep writing about her if you didn’t keep reading it!) if not our hearts is about to travel the world playing a Queen!

So watch out all you real Queens out there.  Your husbands might get confused and bring her home.  (At least to find out why they really say she has a “throat like a flute.”)

Know Your Music: DC Go-Go

Today we’re talking DC go-go. That’s go-go, a type of funk music from Washington, D.C. No, it has nothing really to do with go-go dancers. It’s a type of funk that has a distinctive syncopated rhythm due to the use of congas, bongos, timbales and cow bells. There’s also a lot of call and response vocals that get the crowd involved. This is a very live concert-oriented genre of music. It started off as as sort of funky, disco-y style and has evolved into D.C.’s local hardcore alternative to rap.

From what I hear, people get buck wild at go-go shows. I don’t claim to be a go-go music but I did go to the University of Murrrland and lived in PG County (what what) for a while. So enough of me trying to describe it all here. Enjoy the choons:


“Bustin’ Loose” by Chuck Brown
Chuck Brown is the godfather of the go-go and “Bustin’ Loose” is probably its seminal hit. This song is such a guaranteed dance floor jam. If you wear that jacket, people will LISTEN TO YOU. Also, last I heard Chuck B. still plays a lot of concerts so if you live in D.C., you should go see him.


“Drop the Bomb” by Trouble Funk
Trouble Funk is go-go’s first brief flirtation with mainstream pop success.


“Pump Me Up” by Trouble Funk
This tune has been sampled a bunch of times.


“Da Butt” by Experience Unlimited
This song was a pretty big hit in the 80s. This is the pinnacle of pop-friendly go-go music.


“Sardines” by Junkyard Band
Sardines used to be considered poor people food, but now you can just claim that you’re into sustainable aquaculture.


“20 Minute Workout” by DJ Kool
DJ Kool is also the guy that made “Let Me Clear My Throat” back in like 96, but I think this track is way more go-go-y.


“Overnight Scenario” by Rare Essence
OK. Now we’re listening to the new school down-and-dirty go-go music that gets played on the radio in D.C. Everything good happens at 3 in the morning at the pancake house. Also, go-go began absolutely terrifying white people sometime around the late 80s and to this day has a reputation for people getting shot up at shows.


“Thug Passion” by Backyard Band
BYB was really popular back in the late 90s when I lived there. I remember all the cooks at the restaurant I worked at (Phillips, holla) playing this stuff.


“Welcome to D.C.” by Mambo Sauce
Here’s a more pop-oriented go-go track from about three years ago.