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Supreme Court Is Just Fine with Animal Crush Videos

CORRECTION: I got the basic source information for this article from an email I received from one of many animal rights groups I belong to. I did not thoroughly investigate the message, because this ruling happened on Tuesday, April 20, 2010, not earlier this week, as I stated.

Thank you to everyone who corrected me, and many apologies for my error. This is why I do not usually write news posts.

On April 20, 2010, the United States Supreme Court struck down a 1999 federal law banning animal cruelty – or “crush” – videos, showing the actual killing of cats, dogs and other small animals by stomping or other intensely cruel methods. The killings are filmed, and the DVDs are then sold to fetishists.

The Court, which voted 8-1 to strike down the law, based its decision on the fact that the 1999 law, which was passed by Congress, was too broad. Justice Samuel Alito was the only ~~voice of reason and common decency~~ dissenting vote. He insisted that banning the sale of crush videos was essential to stop people from abusing the animals.

For more information, see the PBS.org article, which includes a link to the complete SCOTUS decision.

If you’d like to donate to an animal protection organizations, here are some links:

www.aspca.org – ASPCA

www.humanesociety.org – Humane Society

www.aldf.org – Animal Legal Defense Fund

Image here.

Let Us Hope the Zombie Outbreak Starts in Boston

Everyone knows that inevitably some day soon the virus that turns humans into zombies will be created through a mishap of evolution, God and modern science’s desire to constantly dick around with shit. When that day comes humanity will be faced with a choice: to act quickly to contain the virus or dither and allow it to tear through the human race like Gore-nado from hell. It will be down to the authorities at hand when patient zero is infected to effectively contain the virus. Popular culture tells us that government secrecy and bureaucratic incompetence are to be involved in any failure to contain the virus.

So we may hope that the outbreak takes place in Boston as this twitter exchange reveals that the Boston PD remains committed to be being forthcoming with information about any zombie attacks.

Via Neatorama

We found yesterday’s worst Politico article ever

So yesterday we played an insane little game called Find Today’s Worst Politico Article Ever. And the Crasstalk Army rose to the challenge. You risked turning into David Broder-esque Beltway Zombies and actually spent time looking for the crappiest pieces of Politico crap that ever got crapped out.

Here’s the worst of the worst (remember, this is just one day’s worth of Politicrap):

Semicarbazone and Epuff both suggested Bristol Palin’s Memoir: ‘Not Afraid of Life’

Essentially, this is a 4 paragraph article mentioning when the book is coming out, followed by a short blurb by a publisher. In fact everything in this article is probably going to be found on the inside sleeve of the book.

Except the conclusion of the article, of course, which states: “On Tuesday morning, Bristol posted on her Facebook fan page for the first time since December.”

Semicarbazone also suggested this hard-hitting interview with Andrew Sullivan.

HidingInCanada submitted this one, mainly due to its lulz-worthy headline: Rahm Emanuel Taps Desiree Rodgers.

KnightOfTheBurningRiver submitted this piece of Mittens-related hackery. Do people actually read this crap? I refuse to believe it.

Semicarbazone found that Politico has basically given up and is now just stealing its Sarah Palin news from The Times of India.

Pssshwhatever found Politico obsessing over Eliot Spitzer’s awful CNN show in Aspbergian detail.

But there could be only one winner on this day, and that goes to Epuff, for nominating this thing. Amazingly, Politico figured out how to connect Charlie Sheen, Mike Huckabee and Chris Matthews into a fine bouillabaisse of SEO linkbait crappiness:

Two and a Half Mean: Huck says Matthews like Sheen

The awful play on the words. The use of a colon. The rhyming. As Charles Barkley would say, “that’s just turrrrible.” The rest of the article just repeats a few dumb soundbites that Huckabee made right before eating his fifth Hardee’s burger of the afternoon and fucking his cousin. Of course, Politico doesn’t actually ever take sides. They just repeat what the pundits say. See, journalism is easy when you’re as even-handed as Politico is! And if you can throw Charlie Sheen into the mix, go for it!

So congratulations to Epuff on winning our first-ever Politico contest. Here’s a little something I wrote in her honor. I think it really capture’s Epuff’s essence.

And yet we had no ideal Mistress stretching her form up to the clouds, nor yet a cruel Queen to whom to offer our corpses twisted into the shape of Byzantine rings! No reason to die unless it is the desire to be rid of the too great weight of our courage!

We drove on, crushing beneath our burning wheels, like shirt-collars under the iron, the watch dogs on the steps of the houses.

Death, tamed, went in front of me at each corner offering me his hand nicely, and sometimes lay on the ground with a noise of creaking jaws giving me velvet glances from the bottom of puddles.

“Let us leave good sense behind like a hideous husk and let us hurl ourselves, like fruit spiced with pride, into the immense mouth and breast of the world! Let us feed the unknown, not from despair, but simply to enrich the unfathomable reservoirs of the Absurd!”

As soon as I had said these words, I turned sharply back on my tracks with the mad intoxication of puppies biting their tails, and suddenly there were two cyclists disapproving of me and tottering in front of me like two persuasive but contradictory reasons. Their stupid swaying got in my way. What a bore! Pouah! I stopped short, and in disgust hurled myself — vlan! — head over heels in a ditch.

Oh, maternal ditch, half full of muddy water! A factory gutter! I savored a mouthful of strengthening muck which recalled the black teat of my Sudanese nurse!

As I raised my body, mud-spattered and smelly, I felt the red hot poker of joy deliciously pierce my heart. A crowd of fishermen and gouty naturalists crowded terrified around this marvel. With patient and tentative care they raised high enormous grappling irons to fish up my car, like a vast shark that had run aground. It rose slowly leaving in the ditch, like scales, its heavy coachwork of good sense and its upholstery of comfort.

We thought it was dead, my good shark, but I woke it with a single caress of its powerful back, and it was revived running as fast as it could on its fins.

Then with my face covered in good factory mud, covered with metal scratches, useless sweat and celestial grime, amidst the complaint of staid fishermen and angry naturalists, we dictated our first will and testament to all the living men on earth.

Anti-Union Right Wingers Are Union Members

Taking the right wing’s common hypocrisy to mind-numbing new heights, three major conservative commentators – who have been harshly critical of the demonstrations in Wisconsin by union members – all belong to the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists union (AFTRA), which is the AFL-CIO affiliate for television and broadcast workers.

Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly have have all been outspoken in their lack of sympathy to the struggles of public employee unions in Wisconsin. A representative for Glenn Beck denies that he is a union member, although it’s puzzling as to how that may be, since he, Hannity and O’Reilly famously all work for the same news organization.

According to AlterNet.org, which posted the story on February 26, 2011:

On Feb. 18, Limbaugh said on his radio program, “We are either on the side of the Wisconsin protesters or we are on the side of our country.” Hannity has featured several guests critical of the union and its supporters, including Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, on his Fox News television and radio shows.

On the Feb. 18 edition of “The O’Reilly Factor,” O’Reilly stated, “Governments can’t afford to operate” because of “union wages and benefits.” But it turns out that opposing workers’ rights isn’t the only thing these blowhards have in common.

To read the rest of the story go here.

AFTRA card photo here.

The Case For and Against a Libyan No Fly Zone

By Lady_E

Two weeks in to the Libyan uprising events continue to unfold at breathtaking speed as opposition and Gaddafi forces engage in heated battles for control of the country. The initial opposition momentum that resulted in close to half of the country falling to opposition hands and threatening Gaddafi’s control of Tripoli has shown signs of receding as Gaddafi has successfully reinforced his control of Tripoli and now begun counter-attacks to reclaim opposition-held territories. Though opposition forces have claimed success in repulsing Gaddafi’s most recent counter-offensive, opposition forces are now debating requesting foreign intervention under a UN banner, specifically targeted air strikes against weapons compounds and military installations such as radar stations. Foreign military intervention of this type would be a major escalation of international involvement (to date limited to non-military measures by the UN Security Council, the European Union and the United States) and appears to have little support from Security Council and NATO nation state members.

Gaddafi’s brutal crackdown and the developing humanitarian crisis has led many to ask what, if anything, the international community could do. Are there other options available? The most often mentioned proposal is the imposition of a No Fly Zone (NFZ) over Libya. This article is not advocating for or against an NFZ. An NFZ may sound like a relatively simple solution and most people are probably familiar with the general concept (as it has been used before and during the Gulf Wars and in the Balkan conflicts), but there are serious concerns about a Libyan NFZ, for both the potential enforcing foreign nations and for the opposition movement within Libya.

Many serious international commentators have weighed in on a No Fly Zone, for and against. Each view deserves careful consideration and the point of this article is to provide readers with links to the varying arguments to spur debate and present a more fleshed out backdrop of the competing concerns and interests. Before we begin, however, a quick note on the actual mechanics of how an NFZ would come into being. An NFZ would have to be authorized by the UN Security Council under its Chapter VII Charter Mandate and could be enforced either by UN member states or the NATO military alliance. An NFZ is a military intervention, not a non-military measure. From a practical standpoint, Russia (a veto-holding Security Council permanent member) is currently ruling out a UN Security Council NFZ and the NATO Alliance members are similarly split on the issue. For more on this aspect, see here.

Arguments For a No Fly Zone

Britain Prime Minister David Cameron, House of Commons Address: Prime Minister Cameron has proposed taking the lead on coordinating a military no fly zone, saying “[w]e must not tolerate this regime using military force against its own people. In that context I have asked the Ministry of Defence and the Chief of the Defence Staff to work with our allies on plans for a military no-fly zone.”

Michael Rubin, American Enterprise Institute, USA Today: Mr. Rubin argues that American credibility is on the line and that we cannot stand by in the face of civilian “slaughter.” He suggests that “Obama should take action: First, he should order U.S. fighter jets based in Sicily and on Mediterranean aircraft carriers to enforce a no-fly zone over northern Libya. Not only would this prevent Libyan planes from again strafing civilians, but it would also enable safer evacuation of non-Libyans. If Gadhafi’s henchmen continue their slaughter, Obama might impose no-drive zones for military vehicles.”

David Cortright, University of Notre Dame’s Kroc Institute for International Peace Studies, NY Times Room for Debate Forum: Mr. Cortright argues for a multi-lateral no fly zone authorized by the UN, but endorsed by the Arab League and one that includes Arab governments such as Egypt and Morocco. He argues “[m]ore than 200 Arab organizations and intellectuals have urged Arab League support for a no-flight zone. Gaining the league’s support in this new era of more responsive politics in the region should be possible and must be a priority. This will make it easier to convince China and other hesitant Security Council members to approve U.N. authorization and will hasten Colonel Qaddafi’s downfall.”

Marc Lynch, Foreign Policy Magazine: Mr. Lynch argues that it is time for concrete actions against Gaddafi’s regime. “It is time for the United States, NATO, the United Nations and the Arab League to act forcefully to try to prevent the already bloody situation from degenerating into something much worse. By acting, I mean a response sufficiently forceful and direct to deter or prevent the Libyan regime from using its military resources to butcher its opponents. I have already seen reports that NATO has sternly warned Libya against further violence against its people. Making that credible could mean the declaration and enforcement of a no-fly zone over Libya, presumably by NATO, to prevent the use of military aircraft against the protestors.”

Arguments Against a No Fly Zone

Marc Leon Goldberg, UN Dispatch: Mr. Goldberg responds to Marc Lynch and challenges the effectiveness of an NFZ:

“There has been a sort-of coalescing around the idea that a No Fly Zone is useful way to intervene to stop the killing. I am not so sure. While it is true that some of the slaughter has been perpetrated by Libyan air force, air assets alone are not responsible for the killing. If Qaddafi and his inner circle are intent on violently suppressing this revolt, they will use their superior ground forces as well. A No Fly Zone is a humanitarian half measure. It would let the international community say that it is doing something, but there is very little a No Fly Zone can actually do to stop ongoing slaughter.”

Defense Secretary Gates, Admiral Mullen, General Mathis, Pentagon News Conference: Gen. Mathis points out that an NFZ would first require disabling Libya’s air defense system, a significant military exercise. Sec. Gates stated “there would be multiple consequences to military action, including to United States forces already at war in the region. “If we move additional assets, what are the consequences of that for Afghanistan, for the Persian Gulf?” and that “we also have to think about, frankly, the use of the U.S. military in another country in the Middle East.”

Edward Rees, Senior adviser to Peace Dividend Trust, The Atlantic: Mr. Rees argues “enforcing a no-fly zone (NFZ) over Libya is unlikely to do as much good as its backers hope, and could in fact backfire.” Mr. Rees highlights the practical effectiveness of an NFZ because of the size of Libya, the lack of nearby air bases from which to impose the NFZ (meaning it may have to be enforced from aircraft carriers), the risk of downing the wrong aircrafts and being drawn into a ground conflict.

Kori Schake, Hoover Institution, NY Times Room for Debate Forum: Ms. Schake presents four reasons why the US should not use military force, including the fact that “we have not had an ambassador in Libya for months, and we have evacuated our diplomats; we ought not overestimate how much we understand what is occurring in the country or the shape Libya’s rebellion will take.”

To read more views, see the New York Times Room for Debate Forum: http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2011/03/01/should-the-us-move-against-qaddafi

Supreme Court Decides in Favor of Wesboro Baptist

The United States Supreme Court this morning voted 8-1 in favor of the Westboro Baptist Church in a case brought by the father of a Marine killed in Iraq whose funeral Westboro picketed in 2006. The majority opinion, only Samuel Alito dissented, determined whether Albert Snyder, the father of a Marine killed in Iraq, was entitled to monetary damages due to his suffering emotional damages as a result of Westboro’s protest at his son funeral in Westminster, MD five years ago.

Marine Lance Corporal Matthew Snyder was 20 years-old when he died in Iraq in a non-combat-related vehicle accident in Al-Anbar province on March 3, 2006. Westboro Baptist church members staged a protest at Snyder’s funeral in his hometown of Westminster. The elder Snyder has claimed emotional distress and physical problems related to the protest, and has said he cannot separate memories of his son from the hate-filled protest.

The Court, however, found that Westboro was engaged in protected public, not private, speech “in a public place on a matter of public concern” and therefore Snyder was not due any damages.

“Simply put, the church members had the right to be where they were,” Chief Justice John Roberts said, writing for the majority. “Westboro alerted local authorities to its funeral protest and fully complied with police guidance on where the picketing could be staged. The picketing was conducted under police supervision some 1,000 feet from the church, out of the sight of those at the church. The protest was not unruly; there was no shouting, profanity, or violence.”

Roberts, however, went on to note the Court was not deciding on the larger Constitutional question of whether protests at funerals are protected. This ruling only affected Albert Snyder’s rights to compensation in this specific instance.

“Our holding today is narrow,” Roberts wrote. “We are required in First Amendment cases to carefully review the record, and the reach of our opinion here is limited by the particular facts before us.”

Roberts pointed out, as the Court has said in the past, that even reprehensible speech that the overwhelming majority of Americans disagrees with must be protected under the right to free speech. “If there is a bedrock principle underlying the First Amendment, it is that the government may not prohibit the expression of an idea simply because society finds the idea itself offensive or disagreeable,” Roberts wrote in today’s decision.

Left unsettled by the Court in this decision, however, is the larger of question of whether a state can block a person’s or group’s protest at a funeral. Maryland and 43 other states have passed laws in recent years barring demonstrations at funerals because of the Wesboro protests.

In an impassioned dissent, Justice Alito wrote that the right to free speech does not allow for “the vicious verbal assault that occurred in this case.” Alito believes the Westboro Church member “brutally attacked Albert Snyder” and that he is entitled to damages as compensation for his suffering “severe and lasting emotional injury.”

Photo here.

Afternoon Numbers: SF Edition

Steve Jobs — In a startling change from past designs, the iPad 2 will be 10' long, 5' wide, and weigh 1,200 lbs. It's designed for the burgeoning hill giant demographic.

Absolutely nothing interesting happened today. Nothing whatsoever was announced at the Moscone Center in San Francisco today. There was nothing doing with tablet computing.

Okay, so I’m lying. Apple announced the iPad 2: Electric Bugaloo today. It’s 30% thinner, twice as powerful, five times as intuitive, and 100% more magical. It’ll prolly cost the same as the iPad 1: The Phantom Menace when that one came out. Should you buy it? I don’t know. I don’t have an iPad and there’s probably better things out there to spend money on in the middle of a recession. Shock of shocks, AAPL closed up 2.81 (.8 %) to $352.12. The DJIA was up by a hair (.07%) to close up 8.78 at 12,066.80. The NSDQ did a shade better, closing up .39% to close up 10.66 at 2,48.07. Meanwhile, the redheaded stepchild bastard S&P closed up a modest .16% to close at 1,308.44, up 2.11.

In other news, Charlie Sheen is doing much better without a publicist, offering a subdued interview to CNN saying that he is sorry that his children were taken away by the police and that he understands that the police are doing their jobs and blah blah blah. Bottom line: there was no reference to goddesses, tiger blood, winning, or Adonis DNA. So Charlie Sheen’s stock is up… meaning that it’s up from $.02 to $.025

In other insanity news, Qaddafi almost killed a bunch of reporters from CNN when the Libyan Air Force dropped a bomb. To be clear, the reporters were in Libya. They were almost killed because Qaddafi is now bombing his own people.

On the “Who Hates Jews Today?” front, there haven’t been any reports of anti-semitic slurs against the Chosen People. Then again, we do control the media so maybe my people have just gone with not publicizing the anti-Semitism.

In conclusion, we need a cure for cancer. Obviously Steve Jobs has an uncanny ability to meld sleek design, consumer electronics, hip marketing, and planned obsolescence into one shiny package and as long as we all keep buying iPads and iPhones, the economy will be fine. Charlie Sheen should “free-ball” his publicity from now on and nothing bad will happen as a result of him being on Twitter. And the current leader on the PGA Insanity Open is Qadaffi, who last was heard saying, “The American president will leave office, the European leaders will leave their offices, and Gadhafi will still be a leader.”

And Charlie Sheen is WINNING!

Medical Science to Rest of World: “Run for your lives, it’s HPV!”

HPV, or the human papillomavirus, has long been considered a woman’s worry, with advocates going so far as to text message young women aged 18-26 to remind them about getting all their vaccinations. Not that it is impossible for males to contract the virus, but the biggest danger with HPV is getting cervical cancer, right?

Wrong. HPV, as it turns out, is a gender-neutral offender. In fact, “while women are able to naturally fight the virus, men are not as inherently able.” Because we’ve largely ignored HPV’s impact on men, we’ve let it infect them at alarming rates.

How alarming? Half of all men are thought to have HPV. Yup, that’s one out of two men. In the world. And that might be lowballing it: “some scientists say privately the actual figure is more like 100 percent.” Emphasis added, because what the fuck. A hundred goddamn percent! Scientists are never 100% sure of their findings; hell, I’m only 98% sure I’m wearing pants right now. But how many men have HPV? A hundred percent of them. That means if you are a man, you have HPV. I AM 100% CERTAIN OF THIS FACT, BECAUSE SCIENCE.

So, um, dudes and ladies, get your HPV vaccinations. If you don’t, you will turn into a tree.

DoW Update: As pointed out by by Booboo, “There are over 150 subtypes of HPV. 2 of them are strongly associated with cervical and anal cancer. These are the 2 that the vaccine affects. There are a half dozen or so that may cause warts, a few that may cause non-cancerous changes in cervical tissue. The rest are extremely common but benign. Do you have HPV? Probably. Is it one of the virulent cancer-causing strains? Far less likely. However, cancer is a bitch and if you are in the appropriate age group you should seriously consider the vaccine.”

Scott Walker Hasn’t Forgotten About the Children; He’ll Break Them, Too

Koch brothers’ hype man Scott Walker laid bare the full of his budget proposal yesterday. In it, he called for nearly $1B in cuts to public school funding, while ensuring that local districts wouldn’t be able to spuriously find a way to close the gap he’s creating. How? By inserting a provision requiring districts to reduce their property tax authority. It’s assumed that Walker will soon legislate a bully and a pickpocket into each municipal school, in order to extract additional funds directly out of kids’ pockets.

Fear not, though, fair Wisconsin residents! Walker didn’t just take his chain saw to the expense side of the ledger. No, no, not at all. He also looked for ways to trim up the budget from the revenue side, asking for an estimated $82M in tax cuts, much of that coming from capital gains realized on investments in ‘Wisconsin based businesses’. Wait, you mean cutting more revenue will only further impact the ability of the state to shore up it’s budget issues by forcing even more spending cuts? Well done, high school accounting students! Your classes just landed on Scott Walker’s chopping block!

Further, let’s assume that power plants, the kind that Walker wants to privatize and sell off (without bids!) as part of his larger plan, would qualify as ‘Wisconsin based businesses.’ But remember, the Koch’s aren’t interested in those power plants. Nope, never. Ignore the fact that their own website, under ‘Industry Areas’ lists ‘supply energy to communities to heat and cool buildings’ in the first sentence highlighting their offerings.

Walker is also touting cuts to cities and counties in his budget, just so they don”t feel left out as Walker machetes his way through what’s left of the middle class.

In case you happened to catch yourself feeling bad for Walker, don’t worry, he’s still got folks on his side. In spite of the poll numbers indicating that support for him is waning, Americans for Prosperity is putting together a ‘Stand Against Spending. Stand With Walker’ bus tour this very weekend!.

I don’t need to tell you who the primary backers of AFP are.

In short, Scott Walker is Flava Flav, if Flava Flav ever worked for Don King.

politics

Geneva Motorshow Round-Up

The 81st International Motorshow in Geneva is kicking off this week. Auto manufacturers are showing off new cars and concepts. As with most auto shows it is a mix of stunning, ugly, practical, affordable and those that we can only wish to own.

If your dream has always been to own a $1M electric car then Rolls-Royce has just the limo for you. It’s every bit as handsome, or ugly, as previous RR machines but it will get you 125 miles down the road without a recharge. Suicide doors are standard but Grey Poupon is not included.

RR Electric — Rolls-Royce Phantom Electric - DailyMail

While the Rolls-Royce styling may not be for everyone, it’s not the ugliest car in the world. That title now belongs to the AstroBionix Thor. Marketed as an “Ultimate Deployment Vehicle,” this UDV is U-G-L-Y. On the up side it does rock a 600 horse power 7.0L V8 in case you need to escape escape a mob of pitchfork carrying peasants.

An electric coupe with a bit more style and affordability is the Nissan Esflow concept. The Esflow is a rear wheel drive machine meant for two and uses the same battery pack as the Leaf that you can’t buy. It will get you through 150 miles of driving bliss and at least a dozen nods of acceptance from anyone you pass on the street.

A less practical coupe is the Wiesmann Sypder concept. If Speed Racer were to choose a car from the show this would be it. It has air intakes big enough for a 737 and headlights that could belong to an insect. It uses a V8 with 420-horse power and has no windshield. Bring a helmet and goggles.

But the car that you’re most likely to want to take on a camping trip is without a doubt the VW Bulli. Get your prescription card ready because the Micro Bus is back and it’s a hybrid! Hippies everywhere are rejoicing.

Top image here. VW Cnet. Wiesmann AutoBlog. AstroBionix Jalopnik. Rolls-Royce DailyMail via Consumerist. Nissan Esflow AutoBlog.

cars