Commentary

491 posts

Is Obesity Not An Inalienable Right?

licked clean

I’m sitting here in my cubicle eating the last of my homemade Pimento Mac n’ Cheese when the RSS feed shows me a headline America Sees Its Obesity Rates and Raises Them. I clicked the link and shoved a few more gulps of gooey goodness down my gullet. “This ought to be rich”, I say aloud to no one but my empty Tupperware. Why do I have this sinking feeling that my state scored high on this list? Why do I keep telling myself I’ll go ride my bike after work today? (just like I said yesterday) Why is this even news? I have so many questions. Do I run the risk of coming off like Rosanne Rosannadanna when I ask: “What’s the Big Problem With Fat People?” Continue reading →

What Your Pet’s Name Actually Says About You

Your pets. They have names. If yours do not, name them immediately, because it’s really demoralizing not to have one. There’s a lot of armchair analysis of what your pets’ names say about you out there; in fact, Jezebel had an article on this topic just a couple days ago.

It made me think: Who are you to speculate on what pets’ names mean? Being “an unmarried lady who is heading full steam ahead toward age 30” as our intrepid Jez author is, doesn’t convince me of your bona fides. More to the point, the article itself really cemented my snap judgement of said qualifications.

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Hostage Situation: A Primer on the US Debt Ceiling Crisis

There’s been a lot of talk in the news regarding the current Debt Ceiling negotiations going on, at least here in the United States. I understand that there are a number of people that don’t understand exactly what this is or what it means, so I thought I would explain it.

Like all entities, the United States Government needs money to work. It has to pay people and buy things. Unfortunately, the United States Government usually can’t afford to buy all the things it wants, so it usually must take on some amount of debt. Continue reading →

The New York Times Would Like You To Know That Things Get Stolen, Bozo

Each day, we open up our digital copy of the New York Times and mock it (and ourselves) for its insanity. Today we learn that parents everywhere are idiots, not just those in Park Slope. But especially those in Park Slope.

Oh, please pity me! I left my stroller unlocked outside my apartment because I was too lazy to collapse it and carry it up the stairs and now it’s been stolen! Poor me! Never mind that I have such a laissez-faire attitude towards my possessions that I leave a $400-to-$1000 item outside with no protection. No, that’s not going to be stolen at all. Not in Brooklyn! I mean, I live on a busy street! This kind of thing just doesn’t happen to people like me!
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What is Your Stuff Really Worth?

The bargain of a lifetime, I'm sure.

Bots has kindly invited me to cross post articles from my blog, daisysagesays.wordpress.com .  Please drop by when you have a moment, and for sophisticated advice, write to [email protected].  All letters will be treated with the uttermost sensitivity and anonymity.

“Have you noticed that their stuff is shit, and your shit is stuff?” – George Carlin

This is yet another article inspired by random things my neighbors happen to leave outside their homes.

I took this photo the other day while on a stroll in my general environs. Here are the thoughts I had upon viewing this item, in the order that they occurred. Continue reading →

Where Are We Going, and What’s with the Handbasket?

Those of us on the American coasts may be familiar with a website network called Patch. Basically it’s a blog covering extremely local news.  It’s a great way to stay current on local events, politics and shopping.  My local version is Long Beach, NY.  Since our local paper is owned by the local cable network, it’s refreshing to get a different perspective on things.

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The Mindless Brutes of Any Gym, USA

I would divide my body weight into three life sections:

Years 0 – 4: Typical skin and bones Indian girl
Years 4 – 18: Oh look, I found sugar. Sad owner of Lane Bryant catalogs.
Years 18 – present: Healthy alterations between very fit, fit, and “eh.”

For the past eight years, I have been an avid gym buff. My workouts are both thorough and well calculated, and I easily spend 10 hours a week, every week, burning the sugary calories I so happily consume. I am no stranger to cardio equipment, stretch mats, swimming pools, and yes, the weight room. Yet in my time at the five gyms to which I’ve belonged, I’ve found that as a woman, it takes a stoic attitude to command the respect from men that any patron (let alone a regular one) ought to automatically be given. In the gym, I have heard more than my fair share of sexist comments from men about women, despite the fact that mindless brutes of Any Gym, USA prove to be the most pathetic example of possible patrons.

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The New York Times Would Like You To Know That Bernie Madoff is a Mexican Party Favor

Each day, we open up our digital copy of The New York Times and absurdly mock it (and ourselves) for its insanity. Today we learn that Bernie Madoff is a piñata.

Bernard “Oopsie!” Madoff has 148 years left in his white collar prison for his white collar crime, but you know what? He’s been jilted! Jilted! By who? By the bloodthirsty mobs who think what he did was bad. He didn’t murder anyone for chrissakes, he just had a bad week accounting wise.  Haven’t we all been in the same situation? No? No one here ever lost a small nation’s GDP (the Dominican Republic to be precise) before? Whoa. You must be saints. Someone call the Vatican. Continue reading →

Be More Awesome: Volunteer

Some of the most illustrious, talented people to grace this earth have walked the halls of Northwestern University: Dick Gephardt, the drummer from Arcade Fire, the girl from Father of the Bride and Father of the Bride II: Martin Short Is a Crazy Foreign Gay Man!, me.  But perhaps my most important and influential fellow alumnus is none other than Stephen Colbert.  Colbert returned to campus a few weeks ago to give the university’s commencement speech. Continue reading →