Culture and Arts

526 posts

Dear Lala: I Have Hit a Wall with this Windowless Box!

Dear Princess Lala,

I spent a long, horrible summer putting up drywall in my basement.  All I have to show for it is this empty yellow box.

There are no windows in the space, so we put in six recessed lights (on a dimmer) and a central fixture.  The ceiling is too low for anything really fun or dramatic with lighting.  I definitely want to use the space for an office and a guest room is optional (we have an extra bedroom that we use for guests now).  I buy a lot of furniture on Craigslist and love a bargain, but I’m willing to spend money on a few signature items – a rug, a bed, a cool print – that I can take with me.  I don’t plan on living in this house for more than a couple of years, so I want to spend my money on things that I don’t have to leave behind.

I’m not afraid of color, but I can’t live with deeply saturated colors.  I actually don’t care for yellow, but I wanted something warm to balance the gray of the fake slate floor.  This new space is directly off of a big family room in our basement, which is

mostly cream with neutral carpet. The slate floor continues from the office to the connected bathroom.

I’ll send better measurements when I can shake the child from my leg.  Which reminds me – this is NOT a kid space,

though there may be grubby little ones passing through to use the powder room during play dates.

I have hit a wall with this windowless box and need some inspiration.

 

Cheers & Smooches,

Your Loyal Subject

 

Dear Lovely,

Congratulations on all of your hard work and new skill set! No one likes drywalling, not even professional drywallers. Perhaps you have hit a wall with this room because it serves no immediate need- you have an available guest room and you are not working from home full time.  I am game to explore the dual potential of this space and create an office that doesn’t feel so underground!

I’m okay with the yellow & choose to treat it as a cheery neutral backdrop. I won’t stray too far from the existing contemporary style and palette of the rest of your home. Building from the ground up, I propose a mainly grey palette punctuated with toasty maple wood to give it warmth and a bit of a vintage vibe. I like the idea of skillfully mixing in a few lilac and deep purple accents to draw a relationship to the connecting powder room but don’t over do it. I am always wary of being too ‘coordinated.’

Home Office With Daybed

I rather like the idea of a modern daybed in this room and am inspired by the simple, chic lubi daybed from CB2. While

floor plan to scale using lubi daybed from cb2

taking precious little floor space it actually unfolds into a king size sleeper. This leaves plenty of room for a proper desk with ample work surface. Max out the storage with a mixture of closed & open options. In addition to floating shelves above the desk, choose a tall bookcase or wardrobe for the short wall nearby to house your printer and computer accoutrements. These shelves will establish a nice height line in the room that can be repeated by adding a large print and substantial floor lamp to the daybed wall. A lower open bookcase along the entry wall with a large photo grouping or fabric covered bulletin board above will fill out the space nicely and give the room a nice sense of proportion & scale.

I chose the Zebra rug in grey & cream from West Elm as inspiration to keep it bright and fun. I could as easily visualize the Chrysanthemum or Ferris rugs at WE in this room. When I am on a strict budget for a room, I will choose a solid color remnant from a carpet supplier and have it machine bound. This has the added benefit of being able to custom size, super size or silly-size a rug to suit your needs. Sizing: Position a 7′ x 9′ area rug to ground the seating area, leaving about 12″ under sofa or choose a custom size 7′ x 13′-6″ to fill entire room with an equal border of floor showing on all sides.

 

Sophistifunk! Hip, edgy and underground. *click to enlarge

Lighting: It is wonderful that you installed both recessed lighting and a central light fixture, all on dimmers. It is always best in any room to have multiple sources of controllable light but especially so in a room without windows, further enhanced with ambient  & task lighting/lamps. I encourage any basement renovators to install the latest and greatest in recessed fixtures/pot lights. I really hate to ask someone to change a fixture that is brand new but I really want you to change the brand new center light fixture. I appreciate how difficult it is to find a low profile fixture for a room with less than high ceilings- really, I just scrolled through 800 of them. I also realize you not wanting to bust the bank on your basement reno but it seems too builder-basic foyer. This room isn’t either (and neither are you) so here are some picks for between $59-$189 in your town.

 

Clockwise from top left: Home Depot $189, Metro Lighting $141, Metro $59, Metro $172. *click to enlarge*

Additional Finds & Inspirations:

I cannot help myself with mid-mod inspired furniture, I like to see it paired with well travelled, global accents like over sized baskets or Asian fretwork. Vintage industrial elements like printer’s blocks and wire baskets make a hip. happy marriage too.

http://tinyurl.com/4b5yg43

http://stlouis.craigslist.org/atq/2252690557.html

http://stlouis.craigslist.org/fuo/2214666604.html

http://www.lsfabrics.com/fabric_catalog.php?cPath=1_37

http://tinyurl.com/4eujvaw

St.Louis has a robust Craigslist and it may also serve to guide your inspiration for this room. I hope this becomes a room that inspires, where ideas are born & private dreams are hatched! I feel I have spent some time in it already. In fact, I believe I left my shoes by the daybed. If you could send those back to me, I would be much obliged.

As Ever,

P to the L


Please send your design dilemmas and disasters to [email protected]

Scandinavians Do It Better: Lamps

Hello chickadees.  Are you excited over Spring’s arrival? LaZiguezon certainly is and spent the greater part of the week basking in glorious sunshine.  This got me thinking about the properties of light, which led me to ponder over the development of modern lighting.  So, dear Crasstalkers, today’s post will be about the illuminating qualities of Scandinavian design as it pertains to floor lamps, table lamps, and pendant lamps. Oh my! Continue reading

Clark Gable Takes His Shirt Off For You: Fun with Movies of the 1930s and 40s

By Daisy Sage and PandaRobots

Daisy: PandaRobots and I have many times expounded on the joys of watching our favorite black and white films from the 1930s and early 1940s.

I suppose it would make sense at this juncture to mention that my screen name, Daisy Sage, and my avatar were taken from a character in one of my favorite movies from the early 1930s, The Animal Kingdom (1932) .  The photo I used for my avatar is a publicity still from the movie of Ann Harding, who played Daisy in the movie.

Like many “pre-code” movies of the very early 30s, there’s no real salacious content in The Animal Kingdom by our contemporary standards.  And yet, this film touches on subjects that would be quite taboo in “post code” era movies. Premarital and marital sex is both alluded to, and it is mentioned that two of the characters previously lived together as an unmarried couple.

Ann Harding and Leslie Howard in "The Animal Kingdom"
Ann Harding (as Daisy Sage) and Leslie Howard ( as Tom Collier) discuss their wild bohemian lifestyle in "The Animal Kingdom"

It’s also interesting that several of the protagonists in the story take a fairly bohemian view of life; artists pursue their art without worrying about money (even in the very beginning of the Depression era!), and look down upon friends who “sell out” and create commercial crap in exchange for financial security.

So Panda, why don’t you tell us what attracted you to the films of the 1930s and early 1940s?

Panda: What initially drew me to these films were the strong female characters.  The women have lines!  And personalities!  And tell jokes!

I do think the world in which these characters live is idealized to a certain extent.  The Depression is rarely mentioned.  Sometimes vagabonds or people down on their luck will be shown (the mother and child in It Happened One Night, My Man Godfrey, Meet John Doe ), but in general at least one of the leads is incredibly wealthy.

Daisy: Yes, I’ve noticed that too. In My Man Godfrey (1936), which is basically a romantic comedy with some class-consciousness thrown in, you have the “forgotten man” theme juxtaposed with the very rich and spoiled.

One comedy I like that makes light of the difficult financial times is Three Broadway Girls (1932) .  They do mention the stock market crash and refer to the stresses of being broke.  However the three main characters are young attractive ex-showgirls who have nice lives as “gold diggers”, so you don’t see any actual suffering.

Another thing I like about these movies is the depiction of romantic love and how it develops.  It seems so much more genuine than contemporary depictions of love.   Sentimental, without necessarily being soppy.  Panda, what are your thoughts about this?

Panda: I totally agree.  The way they treat sex is fascinating, too.  On one hand, I like that the filmmakers couldn’t substitute the characters sleeping together for actual relationship development; they have to write dialogue or think up other situations to show the couple falling in love.  I think that makes the relationship seem more genuine, as you said.  On the other hand, I was initially surprised at how modern they are about it, too. Even if everything’s done with a wink and a nudge, they don’t pretend that sex doesn’t exist.  In fact, sometimes it’s a major plot point, as in The Philadelphia Story (1940)  and It Happened One Night (1934)  – two of my favorites.

Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert in "It Happened One Night"
Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert make riding the bus hot in "It Happened One Night"

Daisy: I love both those films, too!  The Philadelphia Story was written by Phillip Barry, who also wrote The Animal Kingdom a few years previous.  He had a wonderful talent for dialogue.

Panda: Oh yes, the dialogue is so important in these films. That’s another reason why I like movies from the ’30s and ’40s – the scenes last longer, there’s a lot more exchange between the characters, barbs being traded back and forth, etc.

One of my favorite lines is when the heroine tells the hero “You’re the most contemptible man I’ve ever met in all my life!” in The Lady Vanishes (1938).  It set the stage for so many of today’s romantic comedies – and basically every Nora Ephron movie ever.

Daisy: It seems like a lot of care was taken with the plot twists, too. One thing I really like about The Philadelphia Story is that it’s one of the only romantic comedies I’ve ever seen, from any era, wherein the first time I saw it, I couldn’t figure out which of the guys the heroine would end up with at the end.  The writer did nothing to broadcast the ending.

Philadelphia Story living room
Best love rectangle ever - "The Philadelphia Story"

Panda: Choosing between Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart would be hard for anyone.  Who are some of your favorite leading men?

Daisy: I like Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart a lot, too.  But I have an especially soft place in my heart for Dana Andrews. William Holden didn’t really start to get prominent roles until the late 40s and early 50s, but I’m a big fan of his too.

Panda: What is it about the leading men in these films that is so appealing or different from today’s leading men?

Daisy: I think one thing that makes these male characters so appealing to me is the sincerity element. When a guy falls for a girl in these movies it looks like he decides pretty quickly and pretty solidly. You can tell that there’s not a lot of waffling or indecision, even if it takes three quarters of the story arc to do something about it.

Panda, why do you think that so many movies of that era had newspaper people as the protagonists?

Panda: I researched it a little, and I found that many former journalists worked as scriptwriters and between 1928-1935, there were 79 newspaper movies. These movies helped to shape the public idea of the journalist as a hard-hitting, tough reporter, chasing after the biggest story (be it serious or gossip) no matter the obstacle, making wisecracks, and usually making some sort of moral or heroic decision.  When I see the fast-talking female reporters, like in His Girl Friday (1940) , I think they were the archetype for today’s romantic comedies where every heroine is a high-powered magazine executive or wants to write for one.

All Grant needs is the love of a good reporter.

Okay, let’s sum up with descriptions of some of these movies.

It Happened One Night – 1934

The master of the wink and nudge sexual tension.  Claudette Colbert is absolutely gorgeous and portrays an innocent, vivacious, spoiled girl with hints of a burgeoning sultry woman in a very believable way.

His Girl Friday – 1940

This actually isn’t my favorite Cary Grant movie, but it should be mentioned.  I like that Rosalind Russell isn’t a simpering ingénue.  Plus, her and Cary Grant’s characters were colleagues – there was no “Now that we’re married, you won’t have to work” from Grant.

The Philadelphia Story – 1940

Cary Grant’s character is a recovering alcoholic.  Katharine Hepburn’s character, a beautiful but chilly divorced heiress, refuses to embrace human flaws (and there’s kind of a “needs to get laid” subtext.)  There’s a funny and fascinating “love rectangle” as well.

Daisy: Besides The Animal Kingdom, and My Man Godfrey, which I described above, I’d like to recommend:

The Women – 1939  directed by George Cukor, and starring Norma Shearer, Rosalind Russell, Joan Crawford, and a talented ensemble cast comprised entirely of women.  Full of great dialogue, it shows how one woman deals with her husband’s infidelity while trying to save face amongst her pitying friends.

Here are places you can view some of Panda’s and my favorite movies of the 1930s and early 1940s.  Enjoy!

My Man  Godfrey (on Netflix )

Meet John Doe (on YouTube)

Free downloads at Archive.org:

The Animal Kingdom

Three Broadway Girls

The Lady Vanishes

His Girl Friday –  (streaming on youtube) (free download)


Daisy Sage and PandaRobots are two classic movie enthusiasts who like it better in black and white.

Where Are They Now: “Charles in Charge” Edition

By DahlELama and The_Obvious

Who’s in charge of you? Well, if you were watching TV in the late 80s, it was probably Charles, the last-name-less caretaker of the Powell family on the hit TV show Charles in Charge.

But wait! Are you sitting down? Find a seat, we’ll wait. You are about to have your mind BLOWN. Charles was in charge of a different family before the Powells you know and love! That’s right–the original incarnation of Charles in Charge featured Scott Baio babysitting a whole different family…who presumably wasn’t attractive enough to stick it out on network TV. The “Pembrokes” were “displaced” to Seattle, leaving Charles in charge of a whole new household that now consisted the Powell family–Walter, Ellen, Jamie, Sarah, and Alex. And since we know that attractive people the Powells are the only ones who matter, we thought it worthy to check in and see how they were doing over 20 years later.

Scott Baio as Charles

Oh, Scott Baio. Charles. Chachi. You were such a wonderful teen idol, and then… well, actually, we’re still a little unclear on what’s happened to you since then. You certainly had a great start—playing the title character of Bugsy Malone in a cult children’s gangster musical which co-starred Jodie Foster when you were sixteen is so, so much better than anything we could possibly make up for you—but then, weird TV movies, including one based on a Danielle Steele novel? Co-hosting a VH1 show about other former teen idols with not careers? Getting into fights with The Ladyblog That Shall Not Be Named? A reality show based on your relationship failures in life? But oh, Scott Baio, we can’t stay mad at you. For Bob Loblaw, all is forgiven.

 

Willie Aames as Buddence “Buddy” Lembeck

Will.i.Aames was born Albert William Upton in Huntington, CA (sweet name change, brah!) and rapidly became a child star, originating the roles of Leonard Unger on The Odd Couple and Tommy Bradford on Eight is Enough. The only actor to accompany Scott Baio through both phases of the show, Aames took the news that Charles in Charge wouldn’t be trying again with a third, even more attractive family harder than anyone else in the group. He turned toward alcohol and cocaine and away from haircuts. Eventually, he found Jesus (turns out he’d been hiding behind the couch, Peek-a-boo!) and re-invented himself as Bibleman, a Christian superhero who starred in videos and toured the country for nine freaking years (God could have done it in a few days), while also becoming an ordained minister. Recent years hit him hard, and in 2008, he filed for both bankruptcy and divorce from his second wife and attempted to commit suicide. Classy and Aames don’t often go together, but a year later he hosted an estate sale to save his home from foreclosure, a much classier move than Dustin Diamond’s t-shirt and porn sale. Once he’d established himself as a financial mastermind, he became a licensed financial advisor just last year. (We recommend doing the exact opposite of whatever he tells you to do.) Today he now works as a—wait for it—member of the entertainment staff on Oceania Cruise Line, acting as “a social host for daytime and nighttime activities, introducing shows and interacting with guests throughout the day, and he’ll sit with passengers for dinner.”

 

James T. Callahan as Walter Powell

Sadly, the Powell patriarch passed away from esophageal cancer at the age of 76, but not before appearing in every single movie and TV show known to man, including: Dennis the Menace, Perry Mason, Route 66, Twilight Zone, My Favorite Martian, The Fugitive, MASH, The Rockford Files, Bosom Buddies, Lou Grant, Quincy, M.E., Remington Steele, Little House on the Prairie, The A-Team, Knight Rider, Newhart, Growing Pains, Doogie Howser, M.D., Golden Girls, Picket Fences, Caroline in the City, The Practice, ER, and a billion more.


Sandra Kerns as Ellen Powell

Poor Sandra Kerns, forever in the shadow of big sister Joanna Kerns, the Marsha to her Jan. Joanna had already landed her career-making role as Maggie Seaver, blond-haired mom to three (well, eventually four, but does anybody really count Chrissy?) hijinks-filled children, on Growing Pains leaving Sandra to sit in her dark bedroom, decorated the same way since she was a little girl, brushing her hair obsessively, repeating “one day it will be my turn, one day it will be my turn” over and over. Two years later, her time had finally come in the form of Ellen Powell, a blond-haired mom to three hijinks-filled children on Charles in Charge. D’oh. As soon as Charles in Charge ended, Sandra took the advice of her inner demons, and with hairbrush in hand, took off into the mountains, never to be heard from again.

All right, all right, fine. So none of this is true. She’s not even related to Joanna Kerns. The true story is she retired from acting and lives in California with her stuntman husband and two children. But how boring is that? She did lose the bangs and get veneers, though.


Nicole Eggert as Jamie Powell

A picture’s worth a thousand words, so enjoy our 3,000-word summary of Nicole Eggert. Just in case you’re not reading the right words in our pictures, we’ll elaborate: Nicole Eggert is hot. How hot? So hot that she was Miss Universe in the petite division. (Real thing! Not made up!) So hot that she and her boob job starred on Baywatch. So hot that she was briefly engaged to Corey Haim, may he rest in peace. OK, so maybe her weight gain and subsequent participation in Celebrity Fit Club aren’t hot in the traditional sense, but we admire any woman who can address body snark with a serious sense of humor. She is married and expecting her 2nd child to be delivered in slow motion this summer.

 

Josie Davis as Sarah Powell

No one really looked twice at bossy, brainy Sarah on Charles in Charge, but then again, no one really expected that she’d turn out to be super hot with a bangin’ body. Fortunately for America, the visionary Aaron Spelling looked past the metaphorical glasses-and-a-ponytail and cast Josie Davis as Camille, the very last foil on the way to David and Donna’s happily ever after in the last season of Beverly Hills, 90210. Ultimately, Davis was no match for being the daughter of the show’s creator the beautiful Donna, but Spelling did cast her in one more show called Titans before dying and leaving Davis to forge a career on her own. When trying to find out what she’s currently up to, we told Josie “Pics or it didn’t happen!” and boy, did she deliver. For a very detailed resume and something to keep you warm at night, head on over to her website and check out a pictorial of her current career.

 

Alexander Polinsky as Adam Powell

If there is one thing we know for certain about Alexander Polinsky, it’s that his leaning-on-chairs skills did not decline with age. Legend has it that on an unseasonably warm September night in an abandoned McDonald’s on the Lower East Side, he defeated AC Slater in a sit-off.  (AC met his demise when Alex exploited his inability to properly sit in a forward-facing position.) Alex was young when he began his work on Charles in Charge so to keep him busy between takes, the director handed him some Elmer’s glue and popsicle sticks. Crew members were floored when he made a perfectly scaled replica of the Great Pyramids. Alex finessed his talents, studying with a masturbator master mold-maker and currently works at a design studio creating movie props while also lending his voice to many cartoons.

 

Ellen Travolta as Lillian

Ellen Travolta, of the Crazy Travoltas, essentially made a living playing Scott Baio’s/Chachi’s mom wherever possible, so when Baio’s career took a dive, that was the end for Lil. Ellen had a rough childhood, her dreams of having long hair constantly dashed as she was repeatedly forced to chop it off to make human-hair wigs for brother John. She currently performs with her husband, Jack Bannon, in a local theater near their vacation home in Idaho. Their most recent production of Cats beat out the all-Baldwin cast of The Sound of Music for the coveted Thea-ater Tot Award.


 

 

DahlELama and The_Obvious were once roadies for a band called Mouserat. Well, they mostly just hung  around the van after gigs and bogarted everyone’s Doritos.

Crass Fiction: Angel’s Advocate

When I received the late Sunday night phone call, my heart pounded as I raced to answer it. Customarily, this was my day of rest, after a typically relentless week of fielding numerous pseudo-emergencies, both personally and professionally. Instinctively, I knew that this urgency was very real.

Disbelief and panic echoed in the voice of my caller, the husband of a dear friend of mine, informing me that she had just been in a tragic accident. As the details filtered in, our male egos dissolved, through the catalyst of his grief and my shock: in a coma… critical care… near-drowning… possible brain damage. My inward response to hearing this was a bold proclamation of dissociative denial: ‘No fucking way!’

I learned that my friend Amara had been walking on the beach near her tropical home when she encountered a young boy flailing in the surf, trying to rescue his small dog. Being the patron saint of both animals and children, Amara didn’t hesitate before jumping in to try to save the pair. Perhaps because she knew this stretch of ocean so well, Amara was able to pull the boy and his dog from the water separately and escort them to safety. However, she had nearly drowned in the process of doing so. If not for the boy’s quick thinking (calling emergency from her cell phone, which he’d retrieved from the purse she had flung onto the sand before delving into the water), she never would have even made it off the beach alive.

After I hung up the phone, my eyes darted to an aesthetic greeting card next to the phone on my desk. I had been saving the card specifically for Amara. Impractically yet instinctively, I filled thee blank card with a written invocation: ‘You will wake up. You’ve come too far to let go of the promise of your purpose.’

I had no doubt that if Amara died now, she would do so fully at peace with the life she had thus far lived. I supposed that her richly cultivated spirit might even manifest in another blazing reincarnation. But I wanted her here and now: in this body; in this life. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to continue living without her; it was more that I simply couldn’t imagine the world without her in it.

Amara had saved my life emotionally – at one point, we were lovers for a brief time – and I knew that this was my chance to return the favor, albeit psychically. Deliberately and forcefully, I retracted my energy deep within me. Projecting my consciousness several thousand miles away, I envisioned myself entering the Intensive Care Unit of the hospital where Amara was being monitored. Just as my awareness entered Amara’s physical space, the alarm bells on the vital statistics monitor beside her bed went ballistic. In a flash amidst the cacophony, I witnessed her unmistakably diminishing signs of life and the chaos of the medical rescue team as they converged upon her hospital room.

Amara herself was completely detached from all the earthly commotion. Immediately, I sensed that she was preparing to leave this corporeal plane. Instantaneously, I reached out for her mind and spirit in a gentle yet profound psychic choke-hold. Reiterating the same command that I had written only minutes earlier, I said aloud “You will wake up. You’ve come too far to let go of the promise of your purpose.”

As I reached for and held Amara’s essence, I felt her rise to meet me, letting go of her blissful free-fall into the Void. I felt her serene smile subsume me in a nodding acknowledgment of my passionate command, and I knew in that moment that our sacred filial covenant for this lifetime had been restored. Every fiber of her being responded to my implied reminder, echoed in the clear recognition of her one-word answer:

“YES.”

Spirituality Corner: The Dharma of Difficulty

The word dharma has origins in both Hinduism and Buddhism. It is translated as “essential quality or character, as of the cosmos or one’s own nature.”

The well-known Buddhist saying, “This too shall pass” is usually utilized to encourage someone through a difficult time or loss. But the essential meaning is far broader than just advising that the unpleasantness of life shall pass: all things shall pass, the joys as well as the sorrows. Peace may come in embracing the wholeness of this truth.

While most of us would concur that we’d rather not have to deal with difficulty, it is undeniable that it is a part of life; the dharma of difficulty is that it is omnipresent. But accepting challenges and obstacles (instead of running from them or avoiding them) can make for a richer life experience than striving merely for a comfortable stasis.

Many spiritual teachings promote the idea that all our external circumstances are merely outward reflections of our inner state of being. Unfortunately, this concept is far too easy to abuse, as in asking volatile questions such as, “Do victims of natural disasters or other horrific misfortunes somehow bring the malice upon themselves? (The answer, in my opinion, is a resounding no.) If we significantly narrow our focus to the realm of that which is within our personal responsibility, I believe the insight of the aforementioned precept can prove itself to be true.

When I consider a person or circumstance to be difficult, I am often projecting some aspect of myself onto either or both of these. I prefer to think of myself as kind and unselfish, but if it’s significantly annoying me that someone is behaving in a petulant, self-serving manner, then maybe what’s really bothering me is that I’m seeing an aspect of my own nature unflinchingly reflected in his or her actions. If a challenge or obstacle in my path seems daunting, it is easy for me to forget that I am the one that invited the challenge to begin with, in response to a realization that the status quo was stagnant or otherwise unsatisfying.

As much as we would like to, we don’t get to pick and choose the precise way the situations of our lives unfold. As John Lennon presciently wrote, “Life is what happens to us when we’re busy making other plans.”  But if we start from a place of self-responsibility — again, for only those things that exist in that realm — ultimately, it can be far more productive than merely seeing ourselves as the victims of the choices we’ve made.

YA Lit: The Crossover

It’s difficult to argue that there’s a better scenario for literary agents and publishing houses than stumbling upon a true crossover novel, i.e. a novel which spans more than one audience. After all, it’s the kind of math even the dumbest of Kardashians could do–X+Y is greater than either X or Y alone. Sure, having a teen audience is great, but having a teen and adult audience is the kind of thing that practically flings books from the shelves. For whatever it may say about our country, there’s a reason Twilight was a huge hit–both kids and adults alike were somehow drawn into the story of a sparkly bloodsucker and his brittle ice princess, which means both kids and adults were buying those glossy black books.

What’s a little easier to argue about is what actually makes a book a crossover. What was it about Stephenie Meyer’s work–or even J.K. Rowling’s–that made agents and publishers think, “Hey, unlike Trix, these are not just for kids?” And honestly, I’m not sure. (I mean, give props to the people who discovered Stephenie Meyer for thinking that piece of manuscript would appeal to anybody, amirite?) But here’s what I think makes a crossover, plus some recommendations that fit the bill.

1) Universal themes. Not being able to get a prom date? Feeling bullied by the cool girls? Sure, those are the kinds of things that rear their heads in some form or another throughout life, but set in high school, they just seem so…high school. But loss, isolation, abandonment, substance abuse, sexual abuse… these are the kinds of things that stay with you a lifetime, which is precisely why just about all “Edgy YA” books are crossovers.

Recommendations: See my earlier post

2) Feature characters of a “crossover” age. Few YA books are a harder sell than ones set in college. As one agent helpfully explained to me, kids in high school want to read about kids their own age, and once they get any older, they want to read about adults. So who wants to read about 18-23-year-olds? You do, because when you do see YA books featuring kids in college, they’re probably pretty damn good to have pushed through the “Sorry, we can’t sell books set in college” barrier. Plus, college is the best of all worlds–you don’t have to watch the author struggle to deal with the adults, the way they often have to do with books set younger, but you’re still dealing with characters who generally don’t have to deal with the crazy issues of the real world just yet. Plus, they sleep around.

Recommendations: For those wondering about my absolute favorite YA books, here’s your answer.

Secret Society Girl series by Diana Peterfreund. OK, yes–secret societies may feel overdone, and as you read it, scenes from The Skulls may flash in front of your eyes over and over again, and the Yale setting is so laughably thinly disguised (as “Eli University,” no less) that it’s almost distracting how badly you want to yell “Just call it Yale already” (even though the author’s well aware she’s not fooling anybody), but none of these things matter. In this four-book series, Peterfreund has created such funny, quirky, flawed, well-fleshed-out characters that you almost wish every single one of them had his or her own spin-off series. The writing is effortlessly humorous and intelligent, and the narrator so fabulously flawed, that the plot is almost beside the point. Plus, if you don’t fall in love with the romance(s!) in this series, you pretty much have no soul. Or libido.

The Jessica Darling series. Here’s the thing about Jessica Darling–she’s probably you. Or at least, she’s what you think you were. Those times in adolescence you questioned why you were friends with the people you were friends with and pondered how you fit into your surroundings and the fact that you were obviously destined for better things… be prepared to dive right back into those moments with a vengeance. My immediate reaction when reading the first book in the series, Sloppy Firsts, was, “Oh my God, she is so me,” which was immediately followed by, “Aaaaand every other girl who’s ever thought of herself as ‘the smart one.'” Granted, we weren’t exact replicas, but there’s something about the heroine of McCafferty’s series that just drips with empathy. Well, at least for the first two books. After that, I will concede that the series goes downhill, to the point where, as someone very accurately pointed out to me once, “the fifth book is basically fanfic,” but Sloppy Firsts and Second Helpings continue to stand on my shelf as two of my favorite YA novels to date. Hey, if they’re good enough to be plagiarized, they’re good enough for you.

I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone by Stephanie Kuehnert. Kuehnert didn’t plan to be a YA author; that much is clear from this interview in which she effectively says that she would never have considered pitching this sex-drugs-and-rock-‘n-roll story of a girl (turned woman, as  the protagonist ages from 14 to 23 through the novel) who goes the rock-chick route in order to track down the mother who abandoned her as YA had her agent not convinced her to do so. And it worked, which is great news for anyone whose ever felt like his or her life didn’t fit into the neat high school package of after-school activities, dances, and cheerleading squads, since this gritty and emotional novel blatantly sidesteps the norm in every possible way.

3) The setting and/or narration is so rare or unusual that it transcends direct audience classifications. An odd assessment, to be sure, but you know how sometimes you read the description of a book and you think “How could I not read about that?” These are precisely the sorts of books that have that effect, whether they present a little-seen perspective, a creative choice of speaker, or an uncommon geographic locale.

Recommendations: These books vary greatly in every way, but I highly recommend them all.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. This book is so much a crossover that it’s actually been marketed as both adult and YA literature, depending on the country. (In the US and Canada, they opted to market it as the latter.) In fact, I had no idea about its YA classification until long after I read it… which I only did when my mother referred it to me after having read it in her book club. This novel about the Holocaust, narrated by death, is about as heartbreaking a read as it gets (you do not want to borrow my horribly tear-stained copy) but one that is, in my opinion, not to be missed, both for its original voice and the content itself. Granted, this opinion is not universal, and of all the books I do and will recommend, it’s probably the least popular, but I stand by it. Besides, when was the last time you agreed with The New York Times?

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie. The name Sherman Alexie is pretty sufficient to get me to read anything these days, but none of his works have touched me the way this semi-autobiographical story of a Native American high school freshman struggling to change his life by going to school off the reservation has. It so perfectly encapsulates both what is so difficult and so special about that age and combines adolescent empathy with a setting so many of us know absolutely nothing about. It is somehow both inescapably young adult and fit for all ages, whether you love it for its teenage protagonist or Alexie’s revealing depictions of life on the reservation.

Looking for Alaska by John Green. Admittedly, this book probably falls more appropriately under the first category–particularly with its emphasis on philosophy towards the end–but with so few contemporary YA books narrated by boys nowadays, Green is becoming something of a standout simply by approaching adolescence from a male perspective. That isn’t to say that his female characters are one-dimensional; on the contrary, the title character (yes, I was kind of disappointed to learn that Alaska was a person and not the book’s setting, but she made up for it) is only one of Green’s wild, free-spirited, pensive female creations. (If you like this title, check out Paper Towns as well. I haven’t read the rest of his books yet, but rest assured, I will.) Plus, it’s on the “challenged” book list, so everyone’s a winner! Except safelibraries.org. Man, do they hate this one.

Feeling childish? How about mature? Well, now it doesn’t matter–get reading!

Glee — Is There Anything Better Than Two Attractive Dudes Kissing?

I want to start off by saying that I’m sorry about this post coming up late. And now that I’ve done that, I’ll admit that whatever yo, I had deadlines to deal with! I’m trying to get that damn degree.

Anyway, on to the show! I was pleasantly surprised! I thought the original song episode was going to be straight up balls but I guess I was wrong. It’s a good thing I didn’t place any bets on it or I’d be out of rent money. Oh who am I kidding, I’m broker than the Monopoly man on that sad card where his pockets are turned out. I don’t even have a soul to sell at this point. BUT I DIGRESS.

Season 2, Episode 16: Original Song

What I Learned

Dalton Academy loves singing entirely forgettable songs. Either that, or they make the songs forgettable. I think I’m gonna go with the former since their competition performance included a song that I’m too lazy to look up that has the lyric, I shit you not, “Too school for cool.” I nearly died of second-hand embarrassment. I NEARLY DIED.

Gladys is going to be PISSED.

Kurt is getting ever closer to maturing beyond babygay status! His Blaine and the Pips joke was on point and his mourning outfit for the Pavarotti bird was FIERCE. The only thing that would have made his outfit better would have

been a little bird skull charm rather than a human skull charm. But you know, he’s trying! He’s developing!

Kurt is the go-to for singing Beatles songs, apparently. Out of all of the singing he did in this episode, though, this was the only song that didn’t sound off because of his voice. What’s that called? Pitch? I don’t fucking know, I’m not musical, just judgey.

People still care about My Chemical Romance though I won’t pretend to understand why.

Blaine is like a handsome, friendly, goofy boarding school dictator. The Warblers do whatever he says and let him get all of the solos, probably because they are gay Hogwarts and he’s their alpha gay wizard dictator. I’m getting all of my teasing muddled, guys. Save me. All he needs is some epaulets on that uniform of his. Yessssss sir!

Puck can’t stop talking about his girl’s weight. Oh.

Quinn’s dating Finn because she wants to be prom queen. And then she gave the most depressing speech in the history of high school popularity, saying that she and Finn will stay there in Lame, Ohio and she’ll be a real estate agent and they’ll have kids or something. Oh hey Quinn, you forgot about the part where you don’t lose the baby weight and let your roots grow out and wear pastel-colored capris, and then Finn gets a beer gut and starts cheating on you with a woman missing a few teeth (don’t worry, they’re molars), and also one of your kids is transgendered and proud of it. Don’t worry, Quinn. You’ll be in a community of peers.

Quinn’s not very good at following through with her plans. What happened to playing Rachel’s best friend only to sabotage her?

New Directions always has the worst outfits, Jesus.

What I Haven’t Learned/Remaining Questions

Me, I’m always stuck on the funding. I don’t get it. Where did Will get that stack of brand new rhyming dictionaries, hmmmmmmmmmmm???? I want a very special episode that addresses where he gets all of this money. I see right through you, Will. It’s OK though, because I know where you can get help.

I haven’t learned why anyone would think “Aural Intensity” is a good glee club name. Every time I hear it, I giggle and make blow job jokes in my head. Now if THEY sang “Trouty Lips”…!

Who pulled out Paris Hilton’s Bedazzler and got busy with the god damn microphone? What’s next? Actually, that might be an improvement from their current competition outfits–prom on top, 14 year old Avril Lavigne fan on bottom.

Why hasn’t Sue been arrested yet? Assault!? I mean, she punched that drunk “I’m bored” lady for no reason! In front of hundreds of people! I really related to that I’m Bored lady and it makes me bitter at Her Tracksuitiness. I do the same deadpan “I’m bored” to my boyfriend when he talks about boring stuff like math, taxes, and his feelings (I’m bored just thinking about it!). Like, mid-sentence. See? That’s rude. BUT MY BOYFRIEND DOESN’T PUNCH ME. See the difference, Sue? Do you see?

What never happened?

Hey, remember when Glee was consistent? LOL SORRY I couldn’t help myself. Remember that time that Sue was principal and she was all butthurt about Kurt being bullied? Do you? Because apparently the writers don’t. Consistency is for losers.

Miscellany

Brittany saying that “My Headband” was her favorite song. Mad Brittany love here.

Santana’s “Trouty Lips” song. Always and forever. I want that song to play at my wedding, my funeral, when I have an abortion, when my cat has kittens, when I’m sexing (and sexting), etc. Actually, only if there’s an accompanying video. If not, then this is my second choice. Remember that, guys. I’m counting on you. Oh, and please tell my family that I’m an organ donor. You’ll be needing these ears of mine.

Kathy Griffin’s Christine O’Donnell thing was kind of funny I guess. Sorry, KG. We know you can do better.

Speaking of gay, boyfraaaaaaaaands! Kurt and Blaine! Blaine and Kurt! Klaine! Blurt! So yeah, they kissed, blah blah, though Blaine’s declaration of love was pretty fucking charming. Oh Blaine! My heart is aflutter.

 

And as always, if you want to feel better about your life vis-à-vis your lack of Glee devotion, check out the Klaine tag on Tumblr.

NYC St. Patrick’s Day Parade: The Gay Edition

Well, it is the holiday that (at least for me) always makes it a little embarrassing to be a Mick. It’s sort of like letting everyone in to the house to watch aunt Colleen get loaded on Christmas. Regrettable personal history aside, we do have a nice parade, and my boss decided to send us out to watch it today. However, no matter how festive the parade, there is the whole not letting gay people march thing, which is also embarrassing. So, since my gay friends and neighbors don’t get to be in the parade, I am giving you some pictures of hot guys in uniform. While I don’t think this makes up for the stubbornness and bigotry of some of the members of the Irish community, I hope it is some consolation.

 

These guys almost make it worth it to stand next to drunk teenagers from Staten Island for an hour.

Crass Poetry: The Harmony Of Here

Close your eyes; be still.
Feel each present moment,
that often is lost in a blur
of doing and acquiring

Slow the pace; feel your breath
and the harmony of here:
the quiet, gentle wisdom
of being and becoming

Release the expectations
which have bombarded your senses,
and tune into the truth
of your own innate perfection

Untether your psyche
from the realm of lack and fear,
and luxuriate in the body
that is your most sacred temple

 

Whether or not we see it fully,
we have been puppets and pawns
in the passionless play
of a materially-obsessed world

We’re acting out characters
we neither like nor understand;
living an unwitting charade,
for no hope of real reward

What a profligate waste
of time, energy and resources
(because you’ll never be rich,
thin, attractive or young enough)!

In scarcity, welcome abundance
with gratitude and humility;
Impecuniousness is far richer
than a lack of spiritual substance

Overwhelmed by artifice, it’s easy
to lose sight of what’s real
But there’s nothing we could need
that we haven’t always possessed

Sadly, there are no mainstream sages
to help us nurture this awareness;
The visionaries with true power and insight
have all been relegated to obscurity

The gurus in the limelight
offer little but cold comfort
to warm the existential numbness
that’s slowly taken over our souls

But there is the great equalizer: choice.
Will we continue to fruitlessly pursue
a relentless litany of unsatisfied desires
or take the reins of responsible maturity?

In the end, who gets to decide
the value and direction of our lives:
compulsive, greed-driven conformity,
or our magnificent human potential?

It would truly blow your mind
if you ever fully realized
how resplendently glorious
you absolutely (already) are

Living with conscious intention
yields often invisible, infinite rewards
and if we’re up for the challenge,
the truth is all ours to discover.