See, Bruce O’Connell creates his jobs on federal land, by running a nearly century-old hotel on a lonely stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway. And since the National Park Service has been deemed non-essential, O’Connell’s hotel, the Pisgah Inn (the Peak of the Parkway!), is being forced to close. This is a pain in Bruce O’Connell’s big, swingin’ American dick, because the Blue Ridge Parkway offers some of the best leaf-peeping you’ll find south of the Mason-Dixon line, and seeing as it’s October, Bruce O’Connell was hoping to get PAID, cousin. Continue reading →
With open enrollment under the Affordable Care Act beginning October 1, GOP think tanks have stepped up their efforts to discredit “Obamacare”. The most lurid example so far might be twin ads from Generation Opportunity, an organization that seeks to put a youthful, peppy spin on stuffy Tea Party goals. Continue reading →
Proper way to bait a wild conservative into a debate…
1. Approach cautiously, wild conservatives are a skittish lot. Hold out your hand a tell a small lie like “I never thought of it that way” or “Wow you are making a really good point”
2. Build up a small rapport with him over something. This is very easy to do as they are always looking for allies to help them from the liberal hordes. Tell him you think Reagan had great hair, or that Rick Santorum is your hero. Continue reading →
Teabag aficionado Rep. Allen West (R-FL) told supporters yesterday that he had “heard” that as many as 80 Democrats in the House of Representatives were secret Communist Party members. He then coyly refused to name names.
Let’s play a game. What have you “heard” about Representative Allen West? Hell, what have you “heard” about members of the Tea Party Caucus in general? “Heard” anything about Republican Congressmen or the Conservative Presidential Candidates?
I heard that West has as many as 14 sex slaves in his basement. Continue reading →
Welcome to another Republican Debate live blog! Tonight we are in Tampa, FL an appropriately crazy place for some crazy candidates. Tonight’s debate is cosponsored by CNN and The Tea Party Express. I guess the Tea Party is not as averse to The Lamestream Media as they pretend to be. Maybe they just wanted a little attention. Continue reading →
“There must be some kind of way out of here”
Said the joker to the thief
“There’s too much confusion,
I can’t get no relief”
This week on HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, Maher did an extended monologue in the “New Rules” segment on what a Liberal Tea Party might look like. Maher may be a terrible person, but as a political comedian he’s top notch. Regardless, it got me thinking: what might a real Liberal Tea Party look like? Continue reading →
Well it’s official. America’s official wingnut siren Glenn Beck will be ending his daily show on Fox News by the end of this year. It’s sad news to his loyal, but incoherent fan base. As you can imagine, they are devastated.
America’s lame stream media is of course rejoicing, as are George Soros, Nancy Pelosi, and the kids over at Media Matters. However some of us are going to kind of miss old Glenn and his nightly panic-spreading and gold shilling. Here are a few great Beck highlights for those of us who are going to miss having Glenn Beck to kick around.
Here’s Glenn laying out the truth about the Egyptian Revolution. Some of his finest work exposing the elites who plot against the decent folk who watched the show.
Here’s some of the two part series about the Holocaust surviving Nazi George Soros who is ruining the world by giving money to people who are trying to stem corruption in the developing world.
And let’s not forget this classic.
However the people who will probably miss their daily dose of Beck most are America’s comedy establishment.
And the comedian who has undoubtedly benefited the most from Beck’s two year parade of batshit crazy has been Jon Stewart. Beck not only provided night after night of easy jokes for Daily Show writers, but he was also the inspiration for the hugely successful Rally to Restore Sanity. Thursday night Stewart gave a magnificent send off to Beck that gave a nod to the inspiration that Glenn created for The Daily Show. Here is an excerpt.
Damn Glenn, I am going to miss a regular dose of your madness. To be honest, I think a lot of liberals will. Who will be the target of our outrage? Who’s name will we invoke as the ultimate broadcasting insult? The election season is going to be a lot less fun without his theories and his chalkboard. We can only hope Fox is in talks with Michelle Bachman.
Nothing gets a wingnut angrier than the idea that someone, somewhere might threaten the Murican Constitution. Apparently the country (and in fact the whole world) is full of people who have nothing better to do than sit around scheming about how they are going to take away the rights of Real Americans who live in Real America.
A particularly menacing bogeyman in the wingnut mind is The United Nations. Formed after WWII to prevent the kinds of free for all human slaughter we had during the war, the UN has always been a source of deep right wing suspicion. It’s also always been a great source for fund raising campaigns for wingnut groups who promise to save you from the Blue Helmet Menace.
Watch out! They have guns they're not allowed to shoot you with.
The latest focus of bat shit insanity is the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. The Convention is so controversial that it has been ratified by every UN member except the US and Somalia. It is also supported by total assholes like Oxfam, UNICEF, and the Rhode Island State Legislature. Wingnuts claim that the Convention will rob parents of their rights and allow their kids to become Satanist abortion-addicts who can take them to court when they can’t borrow the car. In reality the Convention prohibits the use of children as soldiers, prostitutes, and porn stars. The only real problem for the US is that it prohibits the execution of minors, and I guess it is really important for us to be able to snuff out 14 year olds for some reason.
Fortunately for America parentalrights.org has stepped forward to keep the UN from dispatching troops to steal our kids and sending them to the EU for reeducation. These patriots have a You Tube account, and they are going to protect you from an organization that nobody listens to and that lacks any enforcement powers. They are also trying to introduce a constitutional amendment preventing enforcement of the treaty, but only Jim DeMint (lulz) seems interested. So what if the UN is trying to create a legal frame work that would punish those who force kids into the battlefield or the brothel, foreigners make us uncomfortable. I can’t imagine why every one else in the world thinks we are such a bunch of jerks. Here’s a little paranoia to get your red, white, and blue blood boiling.
Nothing says Rock and Roll like conservative America. Just ask The National Review. While you may not think of the county Republican meeting as a swaggering display of animal sexuality, it is that pro-freedom passion that makes conservatives rock. Just ask the Ted Nugent.
Now that is presidential!
So here is a collection of the best Rawk the Tea Party has to offer. Feel free to bookmark these videos so you will have something to watch when you hang out at you aunt’s house in Arizona next Christmas.
This chick has sort of a Laura Branigan thing going on. Unfortunately, no one told her that the use of the word accountability in a song sucks most of the rock right out. However, she does get points for dramatic lighting.
Here is a classic from the health care debate. Try to resist dancing in front of your computer.
This guy is really trying to rock in a sort of Mr. Mister sort of way. However, he really needs to rethink the Naziesque gray shirt combo, especially while bitching about the British. Don’t live the stereotype, dude!
Here is a low-fi treatment. This guy wants freedom like Lou Reed wanted junk. This is what happens when you bundle Garage Band and IMovie on new Macs.
OK, I can’t leave this without at least one country song. This is epic and contains stars and stripes burqas. Warning: The viewing of this video will make you afraid to ever visit The National Mall.
Bruce O’Connell is an American job creator. All he does is grab his bootstraps, sit down at the table, and create jobs. That’s literally all he does! But thanks to the goose-stepping sturmtruppen of the National Park Service, Bruce O’Connell can’t create jobs no more.
