royals

I have a long-standing fascination with crazy people. I love them. Absolutely love them. Through Crasstalk, I have found an outlet for this hobby of mine. So, without further ado, here is the inaugural “Tracking the Crazies with BBQ” column.
Recently, I came across an important global issue while mindlessly trolling the internet. This proves that wasting time on the internet is never really a waste. I’ve been fairly wrapped up in my own menial concerns and have failed to keep tabs on the Antichrist. It’s one of my biggest flaws and it was actually my New Year’s resolution to keep a better eye out for the Antichrist. Up until now, I’d failed miserably, but I came across a YouTube video which lead to further research and I have an important revelation about Revelation:
Prince William is the Antichrist.
I know what you’re asking yourself. How the heck did I miss this? I felt stupid too. It’s easy to get mired down in your day to day life and I think most Americans are so overly patriotic that we assume that the antichrist will show up closer to home. I always thought he’d herald from Texas or California but that was just typical American arrogance.
If you Google “Prince William antichrist” you will get more hits than you ever imagined. There are lots of YouTube videos and some detailed reports. I got lost in the middle of some of them but I’ve never claimed to be any kind of biblical scholar. It’s actually taken me days to sort through the research to understand why and how Prince William came to be the Antichrist. I’ll outline them for you briefly.
• Remember when they cloned Dolly the lamb? Well, you were tricked into believing that the lamb was the first clone. Actually, Prince William was the first clone. He was actually cloned from the Shroud of Turin.
• Since Prince William was cloned from the Shroud of Turin, he will have the same DNA as Jesus, whose DNA is on the Shroud of Turin. So, he’ll be able to claim that he’s Jesus reborn because the DNA will be an exact match. But, he won’t be because any clone of Jesus would be an abomination, and would therefore be the Antichrist.
• His family shield has all the harbingers of doom aka signs of the beast a la Revelation. I can’t make head or tails of Revelation but evidently it points clearly to Prince William’s family crest and you can read it for yourself at http://www.cephasministry.com/prophecy_royals_and_the_antichrist.html. I got a screeching headache after about three minutes so consider yourself warned.
There are other miscellaneous details that are convincing evidence in and of themselves. They include:
• He was born right after a solar eclipse on a summer solstice when the sun is most high
• The Lion King was released the week of his 12th birthday. Some think the movie was made as a subtle and cunning tribute to him. His enemy Scar mocks Jesus, who has scars from the crucification. He was the same age when this movie came out as Jesus was when he preached in the temple.
• On March 6th, 1996, Prince William showed the world that he and his two sons William and Charles, had been the first people to be voluntarily implanted with microchips (RFID) in their right hands. This is very beast-y (devil-like) behavior.
• He posed with a lamb in a picture, which is intended to mock the famous picture of Jesus with the lamb.
I think you’ll agree that taken individually, these facts are troubling, but taken as a whole, they all point unmistakably to the fact that Prince William is clearly the Antichrist and we should all be on vigilant alert. He’ll be turning 30 in 2012, which is the year that Jesus began his ministry, so it’s likely that the Antichrist will have a similar schedule. According the Antichrist experts, he is really going to start acting up in 2015, so you will want to start planning accordingly.
Here’s the original video I found, in case you’re interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwJ0PZMbu-w