marco rubio

11 posts

Panic in Detroit: GOP Debate Live Blog

debatepocalypse-16R-3Panic in Detroit! Enjoy the latest GOP debate hellfest! See America’s Most Hated Canadian pummel the Great Orange Monster with his soft little fists! Watch the wee Boy Senator make poopy face! Hear homespun bullshit from that other guy! Mourn the absence of the smooooth soft jazz stylings of Dr Ambien! Starts at 9:00 Eastern on Fox News. You can live stream it here.  Continue reading

GOP Debate Live Blog

debatepocalypse-16R-2bBehold, the final GOP debate before Super Tuesday, where young Marco Rubio is poised to win more participation trophies! See the Amazing Sweating Boy! Gawk at the World’s Most Despised Canadian! Despair at the jackass who will most likely be the nominee! Oh, and the governor of Ohio and some somnambulant doctor will also be there. It’s on CNN at 8:30 PM Eastern. You can  livestream it here.

GOP Debate Open Thread: Masochist’s Delight

south.carolina.postcard2Tonight the surviving Republican preztestants leave the harsh frozen maple wastes of New Hampshire and go to the swampy seditious mire of South Carolina, home of the next primary. Who will take on gargantuan cartoon colossus Donald Trump? Unlikeable Canadian Ted Cruz? Flavor-of-the-week John Kasich? Shorted-out sadness droid-child Marco Rubio? Ghostly apparition Jebulon Bush? Watch and mock/weep! The debate is on CBS at 9:00 Eastern. You can watch the stream here. Continue reading

GOP New Hampshire 2016 Debate Recap

nh candidates-6Last night, the surviving GOP candidates met in New Hampshire, America’s quaint Christmas village, for the final debate before the doom-bringing of the New Hampshire primaries. The candidates included America’s most loathesome Canadian, Texas senator Rafael Theodosius Cruz, JC Penney’s Boys Department suit model and part-time junior varsity senator Marco Rubio, anger-spirit and claymation-Christmas-special villain Donald Trump, living Quaalude Ben Carson, and a trio of battered governors: son-of-a-mailman John Kasich, Harkonnen-on-the-Hudson Chris Christie, and sad deflated balloon animal Jeb! Bush. It was not the best of nights for the boy senator. Continue reading

GOP New Hampshire 2016 Debate Open Thread

debatepocalypse-16R-2aHere it is, the last GOP debate before the Great New Hampshire Winnowing! Watch America’s Most Hated Canadian! See The Boy Senator! Watch the last member of the House of Bush bring shame upon his dynasty! It’s on ABC at 8:00 Eastern. Continue reading

GOP Debate Open Thread 2016

search for trumpHere it is, the last GOP debate hellfest before the Iowa Over-pig anoints a caucus champion. Will grotesque claymation Christmas special-villain Donald Trump show up? See Ted Cruz, the world’s most despised Canadian! Chortle at JC Penney’s Boys’ Department empty suit Marco Rubio! Gaze in sorrow at sad deflated balloon animal Jeb! Bush! Yell back at hateful yell-beast Chris Christie! You can watch it on Fox News at 9:00 PM with your crazy uncle or stream it here. Continue reading

GOP Debate Live Blog Hellfest: Debatepocalyse Now

debatepocalypse-16R-2aThe hucksters, has-beens, never-was-es, and other assorted homunculi who make up the GOP presidential primary circus are gathering tonight in Las Vegas for another debate. Which of the tiny people will dare assault towering front-runner/cartoon villain Donald Trump? Buttery-soft Canadian Ted Cruz? Empty JC Penney’s Boy’s Collection suit and part-time senator Marco Rubio? What about fading shell-of-a-man John Ellis Bush? Will he land any blows with his soft little aristocratic fists? Oh, and the fat dude, the crazy doctor, and the mean lady will also be there. Join as we gaze in wonder at the whackadoodle spewing from their pie holes! You can enjoy the horror show here at CNN at 8:30 PM.