America doesn’t deserve another Bush presidency. Sad deflated balloon animal Jeb Bush is dropping out of the presidential race. Continue reading
Jeb Bush
11 posts
Tonight the surviving Republican preztestants leave the harsh frozen maple wastes of New Hampshire and go to the swampy seditious mire of South Carolina, home of the next primary. Who will take on gargantuan cartoon colossus Donald Trump? Unlikeable Canadian Ted Cruz? Flavor-of-the-week John Kasich? Shorted-out sadness droid-child Marco Rubio? Ghostly apparition Jebulon Bush? Watch and mock/weep! The debate is on CBS at 9:00 Eastern. You can watch the stream here. Continue reading
Last night, the surviving GOP candidates met in New Hampshire, America’s quaint Christmas village, for the final debate before the doom-bringing of the New Hampshire primaries. The candidates included America’s most loathesome Canadian, Texas senator Rafael Theodosius Cruz, JC Penney’s Boys Department suit model and part-time junior varsity senator Marco Rubio, anger-spirit and claymation-Christmas-special villain Donald Trump, living Quaalude Ben Carson, and a trio of battered governors: son-of-a-mailman John Kasich, Harkonnen-on-the-Hudson Chris Christie, and sad deflated balloon animal Jeb! Bush. It was not the best of nights for the boy senator. Continue reading
Here it is, the last GOP debate before the Great New Hampshire Winnowing! Watch America’s Most Hated Canadian! See The Boy Senator! Watch the last member of the House of Bush bring shame upon his dynasty! It’s on ABC at 8:00 Eastern. Continue reading
Iowa has spoken! Ted Cruz has bathed in the sacred ethanol and been annointed by Iowa’s pig-men. Let’s commence with the wailing and gnashing of teeth. Continue reading
Here it is, the last GOP debate hellfest before the Iowa Over-pig anoints a caucus champion. Will grotesque claymation Christmas special-villain Donald Trump show up? See Ted Cruz, the world’s most despised Canadian! Chortle at JC Penney’s Boys’ Department empty suit Marco Rubio! Gaze in sorrow at sad deflated balloon animal Jeb! Bush! Yell back at hateful yell-beast Chris Christie! You can watch it on Fox News at 9:00 PM with your crazy uncle or stream it here. Continue reading
The 2016 presidential race has claimed it’s first casualty (if you don’t count Paul Ryan, which, of course, I’m not). Willard Jackassticus Lannister Romney, Lord of the Robo-men and professional collector of electoral defeats, erstwhile Lord Protector of the Olympics and governor of a state he will not name, has decided not to compete for Nixon Crown of Double Nomination and seek the 2016 GOP nomination.
On Friday, Romney emerged from the Hall of Audiences in Castle Romney, his mountain fastness hewn from the very living rock high in the Utah Alps. Surrounded by House Romney retainers, with a light snow dusting their aluminum battle armor, Romney addressed a small surprised crowd of freshman journalism majors from Utah Alps Community College who were there filming a documentary no one would watch for a class they all bitterly regretted taking. He mounted the rostrum where the father of his organic components, George Romney, had once announced that he would challenge thrice-damned dark mage Richard Nixon for the 1968 GOP nomination. “My friends!” he shouted, though truthfully, no one there was his friend. “I shall not be your president!” he cried, as though everyone had not already known this for several years. Continue reading
Sure, the corpses of the fallen in the 2014 election are scarce cold in their political graves, but hey, the Iowa caucuses are a mere 53 weeks away. 2016 is coming! On the Democratic side, it’s still not clear which obscure weirdo Hillary Clinton will blow her prohibitive lead to, but the Republican side is shaping up to be quite the busy clown orgy. Let’s gaze in dismay at this gabbling horror of potential GOP 2016 candidates! Continue reading
Could the art of George W. Bush wherein he depicts world leaders in sophomoric renderings that read more “quaint cute” as in the eagerly water colored masterpieces a child shoves at a parent for admiration on their office wall, rather than a trove of Picasso’s best, be more about politics than hobby-making?
Now that we are several years away from the Bush era of rule in this country, much has been made in the last few to “paint” Dubya not as a war-mongering cowboy, and epic failure of a world leader, but as a soft-spoken man who may have been misunderstood in his political assertions. Not about his convictions per se, but about the amount of caring for his fellow man that went sorely unnoticed. Continue reading
Jeb Bush, of the Florida Bushes, believes that President Obama should thank George W. Bush for his foreign policy leadership.
I would argue in some ways, by reality seeping kind of into his life as the Commander-in-Chief, that a lot of it is modeled after [Bush] 43. And it would be nice, a little tip of the hat might be a nice thing. I think it would be helpful for him politically.
The only analogy I can come up with is thanking my dog for the baggie of poop I have to pick up. Can you do any better?