Behold, the final GOP debate before Super Tuesday, where young Marco Rubio is poised to win more participation trophies! See the Amazing Sweating Boy! Gawk at the World’s Most Despised Canadian! Despair at the jackass who will most likely be the nominee! Oh, and the governor of Ohio and some somnambulant doctor will also be there. It’s on CNN at 8:30 PM Eastern. You can livestream it here.
GOP Debate
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Tonight the surviving Republican preztestants leave the harsh frozen maple wastes of New Hampshire and go to the swampy seditious mire of South Carolina, home of the next primary. Who will take on gargantuan cartoon colossus Donald Trump? Unlikeable Canadian Ted Cruz? Flavor-of-the-week John Kasich? Shorted-out sadness droid-child Marco Rubio? Ghostly apparition Jebulon Bush? Watch and mock/weep! The debate is on CBS at 9:00 Eastern. You can watch the stream here. Continue reading
Last night, the surviving GOP candidates met in New Hampshire, America’s quaint Christmas village, for the final debate before the doom-bringing of the New Hampshire primaries. The candidates included America’s most loathesome Canadian, Texas senator Rafael Theodosius Cruz, JC Penney’s Boys Department suit model and part-time junior varsity senator Marco Rubio, anger-spirit and claymation-Christmas-special villain Donald Trump, living Quaalude Ben Carson, and a trio of battered governors: son-of-a-mailman John Kasich, Harkonnen-on-the-Hudson Chris Christie, and sad deflated balloon animal Jeb! Bush. It was not the best of nights for the boy senator. Continue reading
Here it is, the last GOP debate before the Great New Hampshire Winnowing! Watch America’s Most Hated Canadian! See The Boy Senator! Watch the last member of the House of Bush bring shame upon his dynasty! It’s on ABC at 8:00 Eastern. Continue reading
Here it is, the last GOP debate hellfest before the Iowa Over-pig anoints a caucus champion. Will grotesque claymation Christmas special-villain Donald Trump show up? See Ted Cruz, the world’s most despised Canadian! Chortle at JC Penney’s Boys’ Department empty suit Marco Rubio! Gaze in sorrow at sad deflated balloon animal Jeb! Bush! Yell back at hateful yell-beast Chris Christie! You can watch it on Fox News at 9:00 PM with your crazy uncle or stream it here. Continue reading
Sorry it’s late. Drop in your previous thoughts while waiting for the next DRINK! opportunity. Continue reading
The clowns have assembled at the Ronald Reagan Shrine in Trickledown, California for another session of electoral debasement. Watch governors quake in terror at the Orange menace! Gawk in horror at the reagan fellating! Let’s weep with despair for our country mock them together!
Three debates in fifteen days. That’s faster than the World Series gets played some seasons. And, if you got that joke, then it’s likely that you’re a Florida Republican primary voter. Continue reading